Its funny...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2011 7:00 AM GMT
    People always tell me on here how they want to get to know me, and that I seem cool, but I wish it was that easy in real life...

    I recently met someone in Chicago during Chicago Pride. He was sweet and sensitive and said all the right things to make me feel great about myself. I don't know if anyone on here knows me that well, but I'm not exactly the optimist when it comes to explaining who I am, and an outgoing character that guys seem to like... but I try.

    This past 4th of July, I visited that guy I met during Pride who I thought I could start dating...(despite the long distance). Long story short, he told me to my face (while drunk) that I was not worth caring about and that I was "exactly the type of guy that he tries to avoid." Of course he was drunk when he said this, but I've never been hit so hard by a sentence before in my life... I wanted to cry when I heard this and just give up on guys all together.

    It's funny because, people on here tell me everyday that I'm gorgeous and that I can have any guy that I want... but in reality, It's hard to believe when I always find myself in a bind with the guys I want to date/start a conversation with, and they are never interested in me. I wish people out in the real world could see the type of guy I am on here and how others on here view me. Maybe I'm not the best conversationalist... but I try.

    Sorry for the drunken rant, but I've been contemplating this for the longest time and this is why I've never had the best self esteem...

    I'm just wondering what other people do to make themselves noticed in the real world as the person they portray themselves to be on paper (such as thier realjock account). Because if half the people I meet in real life were to respond as they do on here, I would feel more confident and wouldn't feel so helpless.

    I hope everyone had a good 4th and that everyone has a good weekend this weekend.
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    Jul 09, 2011 7:12 AM GMT
    Just a couple thoughts for your pondering. The internet isn't real life, don't assume they're compatible. A huge number of people in this world are assholes. Tread carefully, learn from your life experiences, and make smart decisions.
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    Jul 09, 2011 7:21 AM GMT
    The thing is... I don't use the internet for meeting people anymore. Every person that I've met that I'm talking about in this forum, I've met in real life the old-fashioned way. Bars, grocery stores, gym, sporting events... etc.
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    Jul 09, 2011 7:26 AM GMT
    Allathlete saidThe thing is... I don't use the internet for meeting people anymore. Every person that I've met that I'm talking about in this forum, I've met in real life the old-fashioned way. Bars, grocery stores, gym, sporting events... etc.


    I meant about the "people on the internet tell me this, but in reality this happens" part.
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    Jul 09, 2011 7:29 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Allathlete saidThe thing is... I don't use the internet for meeting people anymore. Every person that I've met that I'm talking about in this forum, I've met in real life the old-fashioned way. Bars, grocery stores, gym, sporting events... etc.


    I meant about the "people on the internet tell me this, but in reality this happens" part.


    True. People don't really know me based on a profile. But I wish it were that simple.
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    Jul 09, 2011 7:41 AM GMT
    I understand what you're going through. People change so much when you actually meet them in person, or they find out something about you that they just can't seem to push through. People only think of themselves when it comes to relationships or starting something now days and that's what gets me because I'm very selfless when it comes to others and end up getting hurt because of it.

    I hope stuff gets better for you, I'm sure it will.
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    Jul 09, 2011 7:52 AM GMT
    [quote]Long story short, he told me to my face (while drunk) that I was not worth caring about and that I was "exactly the type of guy that he tries to avoid." Of course he was drunk when he said this, but I've never been hit so hard by a sentence before in my life... I wanted to cry when I heard this and just give up on guys all together.[/quote]

    Ouch.
    I know he was drunk, but damn.

    I probably would've hit him (If I was in your situation), but that's just me.




  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2011 7:56 AM GMT
    He was drunk...now you're drunk. Drinking and emotions never end up well.
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    Jul 09, 2011 8:04 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidJust a couple thoughts for your pondering. The internet isn't real life, don't assume they're compatible. A huge number of people in this world are assholes. Tread carefully, learn from your life experiences, and make smart decisions.


    This could be the greatest thing I've ever heard in my life you bacon loving SOB!
    Plus I'm learning this from personal experience myself... that the internet is not real life... its fake and plastic... just like Joan Rivers' face.
    You get all worked up over some guy only to find out he doesnt really like you at all.
    The thing about people being assholes - underline it with a yellow highlighter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2011 8:05 AM GMT
    I just feel like taking off my shirt and jerking off right now. icon_sad.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 9:15 AM GMT
    Man, ur so sexyy u can get anyone you want, just fuck him! icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif


    Chill DUDE! He really is a fucked up man, maybe he was intimidated by you and the fact that u are good looking... I dunno but someone out there will have enough guts to just know you for who you are no what you look like.

    Over the internet, all sorts of crap are said... Horny guys log in to either jerk off or find someone for sex, but a real relationship happens rarely on the internet, and ALSO in real life. Just Chill and be yourself...


    Am I hallucinating???
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    Jul 09, 2011 9:39 AM GMT
    Allathlete said

    I'm just wondering what other people do to make themselves noticed in the real world as the person they portray themselves to be on paper (such as thier realjock account).


    The answer to your question is pretty varied. It really depends on what the situation is. But generally speaking, first impressions don't reflect how a person really is. People act differently after a bit of time spent with another person they just met. That's why people act so differently online alot of the time. I have learned long ago to never expect much from people in the gay world, the straight world, the online world or in the "real" world (so to speak). People are just people. If they are interested in someone they will make it clear enough (though they have different ways of expressing that.) If I have read your post correctly, it sounds like its just a matter of expressing yourself in a socially "proper" way/being comfortable around others? if I have that right, EVERYONE struggles with that at least at some point. I totally empathize. It just takes time. Its life, really. And besides, rejection is never easy but you just have to get over it.

    I hope I actually wrote something worthwhile here.
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    Jul 09, 2011 9:46 AM GMT
    What the deuce...
    I find it hard to believe this happens (every time).
    Putting a drunken rant aside, I would venture a guess he was doing the 'break-up with you, before you break my heart' thing, showing he is actual more insecure then you are,
    He just hides it behind being an ultimate douche.
    I think most of us have met this type, or will and inevitable they come back around saying what a mistake they made.
    Either way, you dodged a bullet..Big Hugs.
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:51 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Scruffypup said[/cite]He was drunk...now you're drunk. Drinking and emotions never end up well. [/quote

    Hahaha, true story. But, aside from this little venture off into lala land, I am a happy drunk... it's just I've been thinking a lot lately and that's what's lead to this post.
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:55 PM GMT
    thecanadianone said
    Allathlete said

    I'm just wondering what other people do to make themselves noticed in the real world as the person they portray themselves to be on paper (such as thier realjock account).


    The answer to your question is pretty varied. It really depends on what the situation is. But generally speaking, first impressions don't reflect how a person really is. People act differently after a bit of time spent with another person they just met. That's why people act so differently online alot of the time. I have learned long ago to never expect much from people in the gay world, the straight world, the online world or in the "real" world (so to speak). People are just people. If they are interested in someone they will make it clear enough (though they have different ways of expressing that.) If I have read your post correctly, it sounds like its just a matter of expressing yourself in a socially "proper" way/being comfortable around others? if I have that right, EVERYONE struggles with that at least at some point. I totally empathize. It just takes time. Its life, really. And besides, rejection is never easy but you just have to get over it.

    I hope I actually wrote something worthwhile here.


    You've read my post correctly. I'm just commenting on the fact that with an online profile, it's easy to see what type of person I am and how I operate, and I wish I could staple that to my forehead while I meet people in the real world just so they know right up front that I'm a cool person.
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:55 PM GMT
    ur hot u can have any guy u want
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    Jul 09, 2011 12:58 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidWhat the deuce...
    I find it hard to believe this happens (every time).
    Putting a drunken rant aside, I would venture a guess he was doing the 'break-up with you, before you break my heart' thing, showing he is actual more insecure then you are,
    He just hides it behind being an ultimate douche.
    I think most of us have met this type, or will and inevitable they come back around saying what a mistake they made.
    Either way, you dodged a bullet..Big Hugs.


    Who would want to do that to another person? I drove 4.5 hours to Chicago to see HIM. I would think that would be self explanatory that I liked him enough...
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:01 PM GMT
    Allathlete said
    dustin_K_tx saidWhat the deuce...
    I find it hard to believe this happens (every time).
    Putting a drunken rant aside, I would venture a guess he was doing the 'break-up with you, before you break my heart' thing, showing he is actual more insecure then you are,
    He just hides it behind being an ultimate douche.
    I think most of us have met this type, or will and inevitable they come back around saying what a mistake they made.
    Either way, you dodged a bullet..Big Hugs.


    Who would want to do that to another person? I drove 4.5 hours to Chicago to see HIM. I would think that would be self explanatory that I liked him enough...


    It's a typical gay thing, guys do it all the time. They want u to prove them wrong and to feel sorry for them and blah blah blah its in all the romantic movies.

    It's probably best u find someone else instead of needing to buy balloons for the pity party.

    icon_smile.gif
  • masculumpedes

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    Jul 09, 2011 1:05 PM GMT
    Well, you certainly are handsome...but as far as "having anyone you want"....the handsome guys seem to have the most problems...icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:06 PM GMT
    Your cute as hell and very attractive that guy that did this too you clearly doesn't know a good man when he sees one. Don't worry about him because there is a better man out there for you who is not into manipulation and being two-faced. I have gone through a similar phase and my advice would be to move on from it but as i said before your hella cute and sexy icon_smile.gificon_razz.gificon_wink.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:16 PM GMT
    malefeet saidWell, you certainly are handsome...but as far as "having anyone you want"....the handsome guys seem to have the most problems...icon_wink.gif


    I just think it's comical... I always tell myself to stop looking for a relationship, that it always leads to rushing and over-thinking things. But I just want to find someone to share my time with for right now.
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    Allathlete said
    malefeet saidWell, you certainly are handsome...but as far as "having anyone you want"....the handsome guys seem to have the most problems...icon_wink.gif


    I just think it's comical... I always tell myself to stop looking for a relationship, that it always leads to rushing and over-thinking things. But I just want to find someone to share my time with for right now.


    what have u been doing to meet guys/ put urself out there?
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    waxon said
    Allathlete said
    malefeet saidWell, you certainly are handsome...but as far as "having anyone you want"....the handsome guys seem to have the most problems...icon_wink.gif


    I just think it's comical... I always tell myself to stop looking for a relationship, that it always leads to rushing and over-thinking things. But I just want to find someone to share my time with for right now.


    what have u been doing to meet guys/ put urself out there?


    Talking to the guys I'm interested, go out to the bars with friends, I'm not too shy when I go out, especially when I've had a few drinks...
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:35 PM GMT
    Hmm I'm kind of in the same boat too, I try not to be picky and lower my standards and be open but after many online meetup fails and bar meetup fails I'm lost at what there is to do next, it sux for both of us since we both dont live in a place where theres a huge gay community.

    I guess we just have to listen to when people tell us to wait it'll come icon_rolleyes.gif

    In the meantime I'll be happy to be ur pretend bf icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 09, 2011 7:32 PM GMT
    I really think I just needed to get that off my chest and talk to people. I've talked to my friends and you guys and I feel loads better. That why they are you guys are around... to keep me grounded and in check in times of slumps and depression.

    Thanks a lot for bearing with me, and I hope you continue to post when I do this yet again.