I hate "Dating".

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:38 AM GMT
    I need to rant a bit:

    I like masculine guys. Masculine meaning, non-effeminate. there is just something about dating an effeminate guy that is a complete turn off to me. I don't try to be masculine, I am just being myself, and we tend to like clones for some reason.

    Some guys think that "masculine" means you have a dick, or you work out till your rectum prolapses and you wonder why you have what looks like two penises, and then go out drinking and using "-ish" after every word. i.e delish (delicious), vish (viscous), ish (issue), etc... and on and on. I love my gay flamboyant brothers and friends but I seriously cannot get a boner over them.

    Almost every online profile I have says, looking for a masculine guy. So why is it that 60% of the guys I go on dates with, sound pretty masculine on the phone, then a purse falls out their mouth on the date? I hate the pretense, then I just try to be cordial throughout the date, a handshake or a hug and see ya laters.

    I try not to turn down many guys since I think, " what the hell" lets get some grub. Oh boy I have a lot of crazy dating stories. Guys crying in my truck, drunk on the date, unable to make any form of eye contact, talking about your dead brother as if he is alive, being massaged (back rub for 10 minutes) at a straight bar on the first date, understands very little english (that was awkward), asking me how many dates before someone calls them boyfriend, a mormon, etc etc etc. I think I could write a pretty fun book on it all actually.

    I don't need an adonis, or a perfect body, just a guy that's a guy and likes to do many of the things I do. In fact a perfect body is also a turn off, mainly because it is so difficult to maintain the diet for abs, and keep building and cutting and building and cutting (oy).

    OK flame away if you dare. :-)
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    Do you always bitch this much?

    At 40 I'd have assumed that you would have had more life experience and learnt that everyone is different and defines themselves via different life experience.

    Although I have assumed wrong.

    What I have learnt is that no man who proclaims him self to be masculine is actually masculine. Or more specifically none of them fall into what experience has taught me is masculine.
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    Original poster - four words into your poorly drafted, grammatical error replete, and punctuation nightmare of a post: I was ready to block you if this was A4A, Grindr, or Manhunt. Be less of a TOTAL bitch and be more open minded - you might just find someone you can live with, rather than the perfect gent of your dreams that would run screaming down the block after he chews through the poorly tied ropes and duct-tape you have affixed to him in your basement-dungeon-lair.

    Sincerely,
    I dare. Oh yes, I dare.
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    Jul 10, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidOriginal poster - four words into your poorly drafted, grammatical error replete, and punctuation nightmare of a post: I was ready to block you if this was A4A, Grindr, or Manhunt.


    +1

    Seriously, I had the same thought verbatim.
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:27 AM GMT
    Thanks for the flames.

    let me clarify: It's a rant about going on horrible dates with men that are misleading online, on the phone, and in person.

    To the English teacher spagettimons (sic), its a rough draft so I apologize for the grammatical errors. Not sure what your post is about, other than to condemn my grammar, perhaps you could clarify, or on second though don't.

    Your topic simply seems to be about....well...grammar. I believe your point is that I am not open minded. Perhaps, but the point is my dates were not who or what they said they were, simple enough?

    Oh and Go ahead and block me, since you and I do not share the same sense of humor, which is also important to me in a relationship even a first date.

    lil tanker: No, I don't really bitch this much. It is simply a rant. My simple attempt at being sarcastic and venting in an online forum but perhaps I was not clear enough, point taken. Your assumption about masculinity and myself are exactly that, assumptions. I suppose you could take me at my word but there is no way to prove or disprove that in an online forum. It would be an endless discussion.

    Once again thanks for the flames :-)

    cheers

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    Jul 10, 2011 10:35 AM GMT
    Looks like the OP is gonna be single for a long time. Even straight guys act more fem than they used to. It's hip to be fem now.
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    Jul 10, 2011 11:23 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidWhat I have learnt is that no man who proclaims him self to be masculine is actually masculine.

    ^This
    When I'm checking out a profile I never read past "honest" either! Seeing "I'm a nice guy" is also cause for pause. It didn't take long to find out that anybody who feels the need to introduce themselves to the world that way has something to hide.

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    Jul 10, 2011 11:28 AM GMT
    Have you tried dating butch lesbians?
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    Jul 10, 2011 11:41 AM GMT
    EMSman saidI need to rant a bit:

    Some guys think that "masculine" means you have a dick, or you work out till your rectum prolapses and you wonder why you have what looks like two penises, and then go out drinking and using "-ish" after every word. i.e delish (delicious), vish (viscous), ish (issue), etc... and on and on. I love my gay flamboyant brothers and friends but I seriously cannot get a boner over them.

    okay, no comment on the whole rectum prolapsing and two penises thing. lol

    So you're telling me that a mere use of "ish" suddenly means a guy (who you would otherwise consider masculine?) is effeminate ? And "vish" for "viscous"? wut? why would someone use that word?

    Almost every online profile I have says, looking for a masculine guy. So why is it that 60% of the guys I go on dates with, sound pretty masculine on the phone, then a purse falls out their mouth on the date? I hate the pretense, then I just try to be cordial throughout the date, a handshake or a hug and see ya laters.

    A purse actually falls out of their mouth? icon_eek.gif How big a purse are we talking about? Are you sure you're not imagining things?icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 10, 2011 12:19 PM GMT
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    Jul 10, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    I somewhat agree and disagree in the same light.

    I have a preference for a guy's voice to sound deep and resonant. Does this preference mean that I have the inability to date someone whose voice is higher on the register? It depends. If their voice is extremely, extremely high then it is, yes, a turn-off.

    In reality a lot of guys tend to deepen their voices on the first few encounters. I've done it, but when I talk normally I don't sound extremely, extremely gay to most people. But like I said, yeah dudes tend to do that.


    blah blah blah


    Let's face reality. A lottttttttttttttttttt of guys that I've met claim to be masculine are, in fact, just SAYING they are masculine. It's not a big deal to me if they are really really masculine. Hell, I actually really really really realllllly like someone who exhibits both gender roles qualities. I don't understand the HUGE emphasis on masculinity.

    Overrated, I say.
  • Smiling_Eyes

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    Jul 10, 2011 9:01 PM GMT
    Soulasphyxi saidI somewhat agree and disagree in the same light.

    I have a preference for a guy's voice to sound deep and resonant. Does this preference mean that I have the inability to date someone whose voice is higher on the register? It depends. If their voice is extremely, extremely high then it is, yes, a turn-off.

    In reality a lot of guys tend to deepen their voices on the first few encounters. I've done it, but when I talk normally I don't sound extremely, extremely gay to most people. But like I said, yeah dudes tend to do that.


    blah blah blah


    Let's face reality. A lottttttttttttttttttt of guys that I've met claim to be masculine are, in fact, just SAYING they are masculine. It's not a big deal to me if they are really really masculine. Hell, I actually really really really realllllly like someone who exhibits both gender roles qualities. I don't understand the HUGE emphasis on masculinity.

    Overrated, I say.


    Well said handsome.

    When people ask me if I'm masculine, I sometimes feel that the question alone makes me not want to get to know that person. When I'm more reasonable I understand that its a preference. Its not one I have; my husband isn't masculine and I love him. I find myself being attracted to what others might describe as "fem" twinks and also to deep voiced "classically masculine" men. I guess I'm lucky that way.

    Am I masculine? I love sports and play and watch most of them. I don't have many female friends and prefer the company of men. I can "pass" when necessary. I can deepen my voice when I consciously try to. But there are certainly times when I'm not masculine - like when I'm having gay sex, get emotional or excited etc...

    As for dating, when I was single in the mid 90's, I too hated it. I hated it because I so didn't want to be single that each date where there was no connection (as the OP is describing) was disappointing. I totally get the rant.

    when I'm dating now, in an open relationship, where I have a solid loving relationship already, I feel very different. I'm happy to meet new people; if there's no connection it's no big deal. My challenge is to actually get dates given that most guys don't get the whole open relationship thing.