Do "Open Relationships" make the Gay Community look bad?

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    Jul 10, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    When it comes to relationships, they mainly stay monogamous. However, in the Gay Community, their are many people who like to have "Open Relationships," which supposedly means staying in a relationship with a person while seeing other people. Although more people are starting to become more tolerant of the GLBT population, many still believe that homosexuality is a disgusting thing because we don't have relationships, just sleep around with other people. We all know that is not true, but if Open Relationships still exist, what else are they supposed to think? Although in straight relationships these kinds of people are called "Swingers." I am not saying that is better, it is not. If it was up to me, I would encourage the whole Gay Community to give up Open Relationships not to just show the rest of the world that we are normal people just like everyone else, but also becuae that Open Relationships end up with nothing but everybody getting hurt. I mean let's face it, if you still wanna see other people while currently in a relationship, you should not be in a relationship in the first place.
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:25 AM GMT
    No, I don't think it makes us look bad. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Some people are monogamous, some people are polyamorous, some people are emotionally monogamous but sexually polyamorous and as long as it's safe sex and you're not catching and spreading STD's what is the problem?
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    Yes
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    yes
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    Can someone please explain to me why the gay community needs to make any changes when heterosexuals are no better than we are???

    This bullshit is so ignorant!
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    the problem is some gays are retarded.

    They want to be "normal" in the sense of christian america: monogamous relationships, white picket fence around their homes, macho masculine attitude, and all that good ol traditional lifestyle crap but at the same time they want to suck cock and be accepted for doing that.

    too bad butt pirates you can't have your cake and eat it too. if you want straight people to be open minded and accept the fact that you suck other men's cock and take it up the ass then you should be just as open minded to others who decide to do whatever the hell they want to do with their lives so long as it is not directly hurting you.

    if you dont like it when the straight religious freaks force their values on you then you should know better than force your pseudo religious values on other people.

    aka DBAB
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidCan someone please explain to me why the gay community needs to make any changes when heterosexuals are no better than we are???

    This bullshit is so ignorant!


    i think they both need to make changes.
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:42 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidCan someone please explain to me why the gay community needs to make any changes when heterosexuals are no better than we are???

    This bullshit is so ignorant!


    can you please explain why you have a monkey and not a mouse in your mouth?
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:44 AM GMT
    rosco87 saidi think they both need to make changes.


    OK, but that doesn't answer my question.
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:45 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidthe problem is some gays are retarded.

    They want to be "normal" in the sense of christian america: monogamous relationships, white picket fence around their homes, macho masculine attitude, and all that good ol traditional lifestyle crap but at the same time they want to suck cock and be accepted for doing that.

    too bad butt pirates you can't have your cake and eat it too. if you want straight people to be open minded and accept the fact that you suck other men's cock and take it up the ass then you should be just as open minded to others who decide to do whatever the hell they want to do with their lives so long as it is not directly hurting you.

    if you dont like it when the straight religious freaks force their values on you then you should know better than force your pseudo religious values on other people.

    aka DBAB


    The OP was asking if it makes the "gay community" look bad, to the "straight community" and yes it does.

    I am all for people doing whatever they want. Personally I have been in open relationships and they are difficult to manage. There are too many emotions on all sides, but that is my perspective. To each their own.
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidcan you please explain why you have a monkey and not a mouse in your mouth?


    Because I don't have a mouse!!!
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    EMSman said
    AvadaKedavra saidthe problem is some gays are retarded.

    They want to be "normal" in the sense of christian america: monogamous relationships, white picket fence around their homes, macho masculine attitude, and all that good ol traditional lifestyle crap but at the same time they want to suck cock and be accepted for doing that.

    too bad butt pirates you can't have your cake and eat it too. if you want straight people to be open minded and accept the fact that you suck other men's cock and take it up the ass then you should be just as open minded to others who decide to do whatever the hell they want to do with their lives so long as it is not directly hurting you.

    if you dont like it when the straight religious freaks force their values on you then you should know better than force your pseudo religious values on other people.

    aka DBAB


    The OP was asking if it makes the "gay community" look bad, to the "straight community" and yes it does.

    I am all for people doing whatever they want. Personally I have been in open relationships and they are difficult to manage. There are too many emotions on all sides, but that is my perspective. To each their own.


    Yes, he did ask that, in the TITLE of the thread. I was commenting on the entire context of the thread which includes TITLE and SUBJECT. In which case he proceeds on discussing how we should all conform to be accepted.

    What is that old saying? Don't judge a book by its cover?
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    Jul 10, 2011 5:52 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    rosco87 saidi think they both need to make changes.


    OK, but that doesn't answer my question.


    avada kinda did.

    imo, we need to make changes for the same reason hetero's do but if you put on a display of good ethics it shuts up some of the opposing group (notice i didn't say hetero). it lets people labeling us know they're wrong. avada made a really good point though, sometimes people try to fit this made up image of what's acceptable and we shouldn't cater to that.

    the answer is probably somewhere between what i said and what he said.
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    Jul 10, 2011 11:53 AM GMT
    cjs176 said I would encourage the whole Gay Community to give up Open Relationships not to just show the rest of the world that we are normal people just like everyone else.

    Fail! Variation is part of normalcy. Out of "everyone else" there are some who are in "open" relationships too.
    I don't think hets assume that none of us are capable of having monotonous, I mean monogamous, relationships. But from what I've observed over time they often trivialize it by clinging to the euphemisms "friend" or "roommate" (with exaggerated emphasis on the word and sometimes a snicker.) Then on our side of the proverbial fence there are lots of guys who persist in chasing somebody after being told "I'm spoken for," or who pester a couple to form a threesome with him. So, one side recognizes but doesn't respect and the other does the same thing in a different way. 'tain't a purdy pitcher!
  • Scorpio1113

    Posts: 90

    Jul 10, 2011 3:28 PM GMT
    Does it further the stereotype that gays are incapable of one partner? That we're fickle sluts? Yes. Though it really isn't anyone elses concern. I do not believe in open relationships. If my boyfriend wanted one, we would have to go our own paths. If someone else had one, then that is his or her's relationship.
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:38 PM GMT
    cjs176 saidIf it was up to me, I would encourage the whole Gay Community to give up Open Relationships not to just show the rest of the world that we are normal people just like everyone else, but also becuae that Open Relationships end up with nothing but everybody getting hurt. I mean let's face it, if you still wanna see other people while currently in a relationship, you should not be in a relationship in the first place.


    I'm glad the way I run my life isn't up to you, fascist.

    Do you honestly think the "heterosexual community" looks down on the "gay community" because they think they understand our relationship dynamics? Here's the thing: Straight people that hate homosexuals hate them because they're different, and they think their sex practices are disgusting. It has nothing to do with relationship dynamics, no matter the excuse they're using. If every homo decided to follow your advice and conform so that you can look pretty to heteros, they would still hate you.

    Way to push your biased views off as "helping out the homosexual community" though, fascist.
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:43 PM GMT
    The thread premise is based on accepting a belief system that has little applicable merit for a gay person. So chuck your hetero sexual belief system. BTW it's an antiquated belief system that hardly works even for heterosexuals in the 21 at century.
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    cjs176 saidWhen it comes to relationships, they mainly stay monogamous. However, in the Gay Community, their are many people who like to have "Open Relationships," which supposedly means staying in a relationship with a person while seeing other people. Although more people are starting to become more tolerant of the GLBT population, many still believe that homosexuality is a disgusting thing because we don't have relationships, just sleep around with other people. We all know that is not true, but if Open Relationships still exist, what else are they supposed to think? Although in straight relationships these kinds of people are called "Swingers." I am not saying that is better, it is not. If it was up to me, I would encourage the whole Gay Community to give up Open Relationships not to just show the rest of the world that we are normal people just like everyone else, but also becuae that Open Relationships end up with nothing but everybody getting hurt. I mean let's face it, if you still wanna see other people while currently in a relationship, you should not be in a relationship in the first place.
    If you want to be accepted by 100% of the straight community, then stop being attracted to other guys and stop sticking your dick up other guy's asses. That's why they don't accept gays. It has nothing to do with how many asses you stick your dick in.

    PS. All the straight people I know would laugh in your face - AND accept you LESS - for posting this stupid thread.
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:46 PM GMT
    Does divorce make straight people look bad?
  • neon_tiger

    Posts: 145

    Jul 10, 2011 3:51 PM GMT
    Does it make us look Bad? Yes.

    Is it more mature and honest than just cheating? Absolutely!

    Is it wrong? To each its own...

    Is it for me? I dont think so, but def not early in a relationship

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    Jul 10, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    I want to know where are those precious straight and gay "communities". Real world consists of individuals that makes choices that get them what they want. 99 percent of people don't care about each other's choices and only care about their own lives. So what's the point in trying to live a life that might please anybody else, it's irrational.
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    Jul 10, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    Yes
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    Jul 10, 2011 4:01 PM GMT
    cjs176 saidWhen it comes to relationships, they mainly stay monogamous. However, in the Gay Community, their are many people who like to have "Open Relationships," which supposedly means staying in a relationship with a person while seeing other people. Although more people are starting to become more tolerant of the GLBT population, many still believe that homosexuality is a disgusting thing because we don't have relationships, just sleep around with other people. We all know that is not true, but if Open Relationships still exist, what else are they supposed to think? Although in straight relationships these kinds of people are called "Swingers." I am not saying that is better, it is not. If it was up to me, I would encourage the whole Gay Community to give up Open Relationships not to just show the rest of the world that we are normal people just like everyone else, but also becuae that Open Relationships end up with nothing but everybody getting hurt. I mean let's face it, if you still wanna see other people while currently in a relationship, you should not be in a relationship in the first place.


    This is actually quite an over-simplistic argument and it is based more on stereotypes than reality. There was some survey data a couple of years ago (I can't remember the figures unfortunately), but the degree of unfaithfulness in 'monogamous' relationships was somewhere between 40 and 60 per cent. I guess 'open' relationships are that bit more honest, whereas a lot of the 'moral majority' are nothing more than hypocrites. And let's not forget that 'open' relationships exist across the board, as does monogamy.
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Jul 10, 2011 4:02 PM GMT
    I'm undergoing a major sea-change re: open relationships. It's not what I want, but I realize that, as a practical matter, they work for a lot of people. I would encourage the OP to read what Dan Savage has to say on this topic.
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    Jul 10, 2011 4:10 PM GMT
    Trying to appease evil is a long path toward distress.

    They ask you to be monogamous.
    You comply.
    They ask you to consider treatment for homosexuality.
    You comply, and fail.
    They ask you to ignore your desires and live a straight life.
    You comply, making both you and you wife unhappy and frustrated.
    They ask you to go to hell.
    You comply.

    And then, once you are dead, they cite you as an example to kids, explaining them how sinful you were and why it lead you to unhappiness and death and damnation.

    More, I don't see anything ethical about trying to 'fit in' in a community preaching intolerance.