Friends after a relationship

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2011 6:00 PM GMT
    I've just split up with my boyfriend after 4.5years. It wasn't a nasty break up or anything. I know its idealistic but i really want to forge a strong friendship with him now as he is a major part of my life and me. What i want to know is how best to make this transition, and for any tips from those who have managed this?
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    Jul 10, 2011 6:34 PM GMT
    I've never done it, but I do know that in some cases it can complicate future relationships.
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Jul 10, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    Personally I haven't had any bad, I'm gonna bust the windows out ya car break ups. However, in my experiences you don't (or at least I didn't) go right back into friendship mode. Usually someone (me ;.;) always ends up with left-over feelings that will get in the way and send horrible mixed signals. Seriously, regardless of how you break up, if there are any remnants of any emotional attachment they will flare up and eat at you away and give you delusional ideas.Thus normally, it takes a few months of polite or minimal exposure/contact with the ex to start getting over a person (or at least for me) and allowing you to start connecting on a genuine friendship. Like I said though, this is from my experiences, and perhaps your break up was not a one-sided one and maybe neither of you have any left over feelings. I know not every person or break up is the same, but that's just what I've observed. Good luck with that.
  • RealBoyBlue

    Posts: 2

    Jul 10, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    My boyfriend and I have thought about breaking up and when we get close to breaking up, he says, "well, why can't we just be friends?." It don't work that way. For me, it would be too hard to try and be friends after 10 years. Am I the only one feeling this way?
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    Jul 10, 2011 9:51 PM GMT
    I am in this exact situation. Together for 2-1/2 years, broke up two months ago. It wasn't messy (hell, his shit is still in my house), but there have been moments where we have gotten nasty.

    We both claim to have a desire to maintain some form of friendship because we do not want to lose each other. He is seeing other guys, and I have not been on a single date yet, but already he is wanting me to hang out with him and a guy he is dating.

    I just worry that attempting to have a healthy friendship will not be worth it in the end.