All those guilty of this, please rise!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2008 4:02 AM GMT
    Alright, I admit that the guys I have dated or been in a relationship with are not attractive at all. Okay, this is the "please do not judge me" part: The reason being is that I am fixated with the illusion that I am having sex with a straight guy when we do it. Looking back, I have dated guys who my friends describe as "you can do sooo much / far better than that!", so you get the picture.
    Anyway, I notice too that months into the relationship, I cannot get myself to come unless I imagine someone else already. Have you, at some point in your relationship, sex life in particular, guilty of the sameicon_question.gif
    I also wonder if this is also experienced by those with very goodlooking or gorgeous partners.
  • Sirkit

    Posts: 182

    Apr 22, 2008 5:51 AM GMT
    Yeah I've been there but I've never dated anyone that I didn't find attractive. At about 4 months in I start getting bored with the vanilla sex and start imagining different people. It's my sign that I need to change things up or get out of a relationship that isn't working.

    In my experience you can never be 100% into your partner 100% of the time. If it takes fantasizing sometimes, then that's what it takes.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Apr 22, 2008 8:43 AM GMT
    I would be really surprised if most people don't think about someone else (or some other situation) at some stage while they are having sex.

    I think it's human nature, so stop beating yourself up about it.

    Loz
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 22, 2008 10:27 AM GMT
    No...I couldn't bring myself to date someone I didn't find attractive in some way

    But everybody has gone through the "imaginary" process during sex
    it's called the party's over
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    Apr 24, 2008 1:47 AM GMT
    HEY DUDES--WE CAN'T DENY THAT WE'RE ALL VISUAL ANIMALS WHETHER THAT'S WITH OUR EYES OR OUR IMAGINATIONS--I THINK IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL TO FANTASIZE
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    Apr 24, 2008 2:44 AM GMT
    Maybe you and terra should get together
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    Apr 24, 2008 6:27 AM GMT
    I haven't dated anyone I didn't find attractive / intelligent / sexy / sensuous. Each guy I've been with has been a quality guy. If that were not the case - I would rather be alone with a good book or some friends.
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    Apr 24, 2008 7:46 AM GMT
    Maybe I was being harsh and bitter about my EXes. Those fucken bastards! LOL
    You guys here on RJ give me hope... God, I live on it. (Spoken like Miranda)
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    Apr 24, 2008 4:09 PM GMT
    I just got bored of sex really easily, so it takes me longer and at times i cant cum...but even if they guy is hot as hell.....i think if ur emotionally tired in ur life at some point, sex gets harder, at least for me
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    Apr 24, 2008 4:34 PM GMT
    Zimatar, short answer YES

    I recommend every male look into the "Coolidge Effect" which is seen in males of many species. Basic premise is a male will lose interest in sex if the same sexual partner is presented to him time after time. But if the sexual partners keep changing the male's interest in sex will keep being revived.

    The "Coolidge Effect" is named after Calvin Coolidge due to a rather amusing story (probably not true) of when he visited a chicken farm with his wife.
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    May 07, 2008 5:23 AM GMT
    I find the most attractive part of a man is what he has between his ears and in his heart. A big dick is just a bonus. My current boyfriend is like that, a body like Fred Flintsone, kind as mother teresa and a cock like a horse.
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    May 08, 2008 11:14 PM GMT
    Hey, Zimatar, I think this responds to your question(s).
    I have certainly been with guys who would not appeal to my friends, or with whom I felt I was the more attractive partner. But, I was attracted to the guy somehow.

    Also, I have NUMEROUS TIMES, had to think of someone ELSE to . . . finish. This usually happens sometime into it.

    Life is too short for (too much) guilt.
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    May 09, 2008 12:09 AM GMT
    I imagine my other half doing things to me that he would NEVER do...LOL...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2008 1:15 AM GMT
    I have dated a couple of plain looking boys. I don't really look for the looks. I look for the personality.I look to see if he's a hard worker and can hold down a job.(a southern standard).

    Guys who end up wanting me who are hot, Live usually in a different time zone. Or just a tourist.

    It seems I mostly get that. lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2008 5:11 AM GMT
    DesertTrainer saidI imagine my other half doing things to me that he would NEVER do...LOL...

    Is he reading this? LOL