I want to get bigger . .

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 11, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    So I have been out for a few years and still coming to terms with accepting who I am and am way more comfortable with myself as each days passes. However I find it hard to meet people being I am not into the whole 'scene' which I would like to say is my own personal flaw - however it is who I am so take it or leave it - and I am going to remain comfortable with who I am and what I am about. I guess it all comes down to what people think when they see me and that is what leads to my question.

    One thing I have begun to realize is that I have a gym membership and have had various memberships over the past few years - but I never use them. I tend to have my regular gym routine and that is to go to the gym run a few miles on the tredmill and then head on home. I am 5'10 and weigh about 160lbs and have the build to get a 6-pack if I really tried but I am so nervous to use the machines in the gym cause I feel like everyone will just laugh at me cause I really do not know what I am doing. I would love to have a good upper body with some built muscle and work on that 6-pack - but am just shy and nervous.

    What should I do? Is that a normal feeling?

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    Jul 11, 2011 3:17 PM GMT
    When you sign up to a gym they should at least give you a tour of how to use all the equipment. If not, ask them or someone else to show you how it's done (or get a personal trainer to show you what you should focus on).
    I never used the weights for the same reason but I did my weight routines at home which makes me feel more comfortable and I'm more inclined to not flake out on sets.

    The more you do something the more familiar it will be and you won't be so embarrassed. Besides, almost everyone will be concentrating on themselves and not on the people around them.
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    Jul 11, 2011 3:26 PM GMT
    What should you do? It's pretty normal to feel shy or intimidated but look around you at the gym. Most I've been to the members run the gamut of being in good shape to terrible shape with the largest majority being the latter who themselves have no idea how to use most of the machines properly either. So don't worry about it, they're all thinking the same thing about themselves and pity the fat ones there looking at all 160 pounds of you wishing they were themselves.. True.

    Instead of focusing on getting " a six pack" you should be focusing on changing your shape from straight up and narrow to broadening your chest/shoulders and arms as well as your legs, first. The 6 pack is icing on the cake later.
    Get one of the staff at the gym to show you how each machine works and then the rest is up to you.. when you're comfortable then you can move on expanding your routines etc.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9225

    Jul 11, 2011 7:13 PM GMT
    I wish I could be there to show you what to do.

    It would be a good idea if you asked at the front desk if there was anybody who could give you a tour of the gym and tell you what each machine is for.

    Also, do some Googling to learn proper form.
    Otherwise, you won't be getting nearly as much benefit from each exercise.

    Or, you could hire a trainer, for, say, a month.

    Good luck.
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    Jul 11, 2011 7:43 PM GMT
    Good for you. About the gay scene... I'm not sure what the big deal is about it. Part of getting more comfortable with your sexuality is to get used to other gay people of all kinds and walks. How others behave and act should not affect you self-esteem!

    About gyms... the way i started was to approach the gym as a subject in school.
    Research it, make a workout schedule, use the Internet to pick your exercises, and get an idea of the proper form(tons of videos online). Buy a book. If that proves difficult, then invest some money for 4-5 trainer lessons and have the trainer help you learn the exercises to start off.

  • AvadaKedavra

    Posts: 3554

    Jul 11, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    You might be thinking that people are watching and laughing at you but I doubt anyone even cares. Just do exercises you know how to do with light weight just to see whether anyone is watching you. You'll realize that no one even notices you. The meat heads are too focused on their own workout. Its all in your head.

    Its funny how no one uses all the workout programs on this website. There are like a good enough of realjock workout programs complete with videos! I think they are pretty good. Instead everyone is busy posting stupid animated gifs.

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    Jul 11, 2011 9:10 PM GMT
    jim_e said(or get a personal trainer to show you what you should focus on).

    This. If you're serious about putting on muscle, and you don't know what you're doing in the gym, it's a good investment to work with a trainer until you feel comfortable with what you're doing.
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    Jul 12, 2011 2:54 AM GMT
    Who cares what other people think? You're there to workout, not seek the approval of douchebags that hang out at the gym and make fun other people.

    You have to remember that we ALL started at zero. I agree with the idea of hiring a trainer. It's going to be a little pricey at first. But utilize a trainer to learn how to use the equipment and how to do the exercise properly.

    After you feel comfortable around the gym, you can cut him loose and go on your own. Who knows, you might meet a gym buddy and he can teach some additional pointers. Anyways, good luck. icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 12, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    I am not a "big" guy by any means. However when I started I looked like a kid living through a famine or something. I was 6'3" and 150 or so... the odd thing is that I didnt realize how skinny I was! 25 lbs later, I have a lot more confidence and going to the gym is part of my normal routine. No big deal.

    I suggest you do as much research as you can online... and build your way up slowly but surely. I started going alone and used light weights... eventually I felt like... okay, this is going well enough and I didnt worry so much about it. I used to wear all these big baggy clothes to cover myself up. I was definitely self conscious!

    But that's the thing. You should be proud of yourself for just GOING to the gym... the gym should not be about being self-conscious... its a place where people of all sizes.... obese to bodybuilder and in between, go to be fit and to be healthy. Most of the time I've found that nobody gives a shit what you do, as long as you arent dropping huge bars all over the place....

    Now, I have a trainer and he has taught me so much. it's really been a huge thing for me. I've been working with him for a year+ now because I've seen good results and because he makes working out really fun. But honestly you could say you want to work with him/her for a few months just to get you started and build a routine.

    If you are really nervous about going... just try going late at night when no one is there. Also, you will know how to use the machines.... they are generally quite intuitive. Most of them have basic instructions that are easy to follow. That's why the machines are there, really, to help beginners and to make working out a bit easier. Maybe work with a trainer to add in free weights and cable exercises.

    Last thing.... You look great already, honestly. So its unlikely that people are going to harshly judge you! Relax and do your thing. Its just a gym. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 12, 2011 3:21 AM GMT
    It's a normal feeling to feel "out of place". Just overcome those feelings and get your workout done. I couldn't go into the free weight section for years. I finally made it in there with the help of a personal trainer. I workout wherever I like now.

    Nobody has the right to judge you in the gym. And if they do, tell them to fuck off.

    Now go in there and own the place!

    You're there for a reason.

    Go do it!

    Aloha and Be Well!
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    Jul 12, 2011 3:25 AM GMT
    Yup. It is normal, however, you gotta realize that most people don't give a fuck. At least in my experience that has been the case. So just find a work out, learn the exercises and reps/sets, print out a sheet (or use an iPod Touch like I do) then you're gold.
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    Jul 12, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    phillyborn98: You have an excellent opportunity here...and you can pull it off if you can act quite natural while doing it.
    Keep you eyes out for a guy who has a good build...maybe the kind you would see yourself in...and approach him while he's working a particular machine.
    Be totally honest with him...tell you you're new to weight lifting...and ask him if you can watch while he works out.
    IF he blows you off... just move on and try another guy. Chances are pretty good that you will find someone who is not only willing to help...but perhaps a new friend, too. Never mind that gay thing....just think of it as one guy helping out another.
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    Jul 12, 2011 9:43 PM GMT
    I went the route of getting a trainer, but made sure he was good eye candy too. In the end I got something nice to look at, ended up becoming pretty good friends and had my spotty lifting knowledge filled in nicely icon_cool.gif