Would you still date someone even if his body was rather unattractive?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    Simple question. I know it sounds shallow, but I'm finding myself not very interested in this guy I'm talking to because he is slightly overweight and doesn't appear to work out much. Otherwise I like him, he has a lot of good qualities. Maybe I've just been spoiled by a couple shallow guys that have nice bodies..
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Jul 13, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    Personally, though I would LOVE to have a guy with a good body, that's mostly a plus or added bonus. In fact, most of the guys I've dated had average bodies and were not that toned/defined. However, I won't deny that I will overlook and rule out a guy who was well beyond overweight and leaning towards obese. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn't be physically attracted to the guy, and a relationship is a compromise between physical and emotional attraction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    Sexy smile is the most important thing. Oh for sure!!

    Good body helps.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 5:09 AM GMT
    Bodies can change, personalities usually cannot.

    If you really like this guy, keep him as a good friend. Maybe he'll get more serious about getting in shape over time. If the interest is still there by then, you can try to take your relationship to something more than just friends.

    You can help speed up the process by inviting him to come along with you to the gym or to participate in other physical activities.
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    Jul 13, 2011 5:57 AM GMT
    I do agree with xrichx.

    Being healthy is extremely important in relationship but also there is a fine line at the beginning not to don't judge a compatibility by their physique.

    If a person down the road decided to turn around his health and becomes a six pack guy, I would presume, that you probably bang your head for not sticking it out with him.

    In saying so I am not encouraging you to date him at first but remain friends with him. I would help him to change his lifestyle so it fits both of you when you get into a relationship. I too wouldn't want to be with someone who is not physically active. I once, 5 years ago, extremely overweight at 225 lbs and 38 size waist.

    Well all I can say is when you see the result you like, you can begin to make a decision whether you want to stick it out with him or not.

    Cheers,

    Jay

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    Jul 13, 2011 5:57 AM GMT
    hell no
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    Jul 13, 2011 6:00 AM GMT
    Definitely would!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 6:01 AM GMT
    Depends on the extent of his unattractiveness.

    But even then I think I'd have to say no.
    Doesn't mean I can't be friends with the guy though.
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    Jul 13, 2011 6:02 AM GMT
    I wouldnt mind but I like to date someone who shares my interests and goals

    and working out is major to me. I have had friends and "interests": not be so interested in me because they d say I workout too much or always want me to get drunk and call me party pooper because of how I try to eat and live . So unless that person , is into the same things that I am into or is willing to respect what I have accomplished or where I am trying to get then it probably wont work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 6:03 AM GMT
    xrichx saidBodies can change, personalities usually cannot.

    If you really like this guy, keep him as a good friend. Maybe he'll get more serious about getting in shape over time. If the interest is still there by then, you can try to take your relationship to something more than just friends.

    You can help speed up the process by inviting him to come along with you to the gym or to participate in other physical activities.


    Agree completely!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 6:04 AM GMT
    xrichx saidBodies can change, personalities usually cannot.

    If you really like this guy, keep him as a good friend. Maybe he'll get more serious about getting in shape over time. If the interest is still there by then, you can try to take your relationship to something more than just friends.

    You can help speed up the process by inviting him to come along with you to the gym or to participate in other physical activities.


    Sounds kind vain. I am not sure if the person would want to date you then. because then u d want them after they get in shape . -- its such a fine line.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jul 13, 2011 6:07 AM GMT
    I'm more attracted to guy's face and style than their body, so yea...
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    Jul 13, 2011 6:08 AM GMT
    Oh yes, definitely. Cause I know that has happened to me because my body isn't "jock" material. I'm just me, take it or leave it. He has to have good qualities, real and shit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 6:08 AM GMT
    I do it all the time - and it was strange for me at first but the very first time I found out that there are lots of sexy things about guys besides thier bodies. There have been a few duds - but mostly good surprises.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 7:50 AM GMT
    I'm very shallow when it comes to my looks but I don't care a lot about looks when it comes to the guys I like. But I'm talking about kinda chubby like Kevin James or Seth Rogen (who IMO are super hot!) not morbidly obese.
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    Jul 13, 2011 12:40 PM GMT
    HavenJock80 said
    xrichx saidBodies can change, personalities usually cannot.

    If you really like this guy, keep him as a good friend. Maybe he'll get more serious about getting in shape over time. If the interest is still there by then, you can try to take your relationship to something more than just friends.

    You can help speed up the process by inviting him to come along with you to the gym or to participate in other physical activities.


    Sounds kind vain. I am not sure if the person would want to date you then. because then u d want them after they get in shape . -- its such a fine line.


    Agreed. I went through a similar situation before I started going to the gym. A guy I was really interested in wasn't into me because I wasn't his type. Fair enough. A few years later, after I'd started working out, he either didn't recognize me or didn't know who I was (I'd grown out a full beard by then as well). He came up to me at a bar, started flirting with me and asked me out. I told him that we'd met before and that I wasn't his type; he apologized and said I was his type now. I told him it was a bummer we met when we did and walked away.

    You either like the guy or you don't. If you can't look past the guy's physical appearances, then please, for his sake, leave him alone and let him find someone he can be happy with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    xrichx saidBodies can change, personalities usually cannot.

    If you really like this guy, keep him as a good friend. Maybe he'll get more serious about getting in shape over time. If the interest is still there by then, you can try to take your relationship to something more than just friends.

    You can help speed up the process by inviting him to come along with you to the gym or to participate in other physical activities.


    That is some really good advice, esp since you like the guy and he doesn't sound like an obese or a fat guy. Personally I don't feel sexually attracted to a guy who is fat or obese and so I do understand your apprehension, but if you like the guy take it slow and maybe you will get attracted to him as you get to know him better.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 13, 2011 12:49 PM GMT
    So...most guys are attracted to the physical and only the physical...right? icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 13, 2011 12:52 PM GMT
    Yes I can and would.
    I do take care of my body which is my temple and would like the one I'm interested in do the same with theirs, however a good body is not an absolute.
    Physical attraction plays a good role, but to me a sexy mind is way more attractive. A great mind can captivate, a body only attract.

    That being said an obese person is not attractive to me at all, because I want to work out, play sports go to runs etc. You've got to be able to keep up at least. An obese person has a different vantage point to life. So different that is does not resonate with mine and that person probably has very different priorities.

    In short sexy minds rule! Obesity sucks and is way unhealthy.
  • spunkywasabi

    Posts: 126

    Jul 13, 2011 12:54 PM GMT
    you would be surprised how much of a better pillow a slightly out of shape guy!
  • danielvn

    Posts: 222

    Jul 13, 2011 12:54 PM GMT
    Sure why not. A good body does not last for years! Once you turn 60 it's all gonna get saggy and wrinkly. A good personality and a beautiful soul are all that matter!
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 13, 2011 12:55 PM GMT
    Lux_ saidYes I can and would.
    I do take care of my body which is my temple and would like the one I'm interested in do the same with theirs, however a good body is not an absolute.
    Physical attraction plays a good role, but to me a sexy mind is way more attractive. A great mind can captivate, a body only attract.

    That being said an obese person is not attractive to me at all, because I want to work out, play sports go to runs etc. You've got to be able to keep up at least. An obese person has a different vantage point to life. So different that is does not resonate with mine and that person probably has very different priorities.

    In short sexy minds rule! Obesity sucks and is way unhealthy.


    So...how about an obese person with a sexy mind? icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    Here's the thing. Attraction is two fold. There's physical attraction, which is usually the first thing that sparks interest in someone, and emotional, which is based on a whole range of traits and characteristics that vary not just from person to person, but interaction to interaction. In emotional attraction, context is everything. It can be just as instant as the physical, and is often more lasting.

    So what the OP has is only one of the 2 present. At this point, it becomes about priorities and compromises. I have friends who prioritize physical. Sometimes that works for them, most of the time it just leads to disappointment, even when you're capable of "being that which you most desire" physically. But the OP is going to have to choose, choose wisely, and hope to avoid hurting anyone's feelings, his own included.

    Decisions like this are not fun and frankly are like psychic ulcers.

    And for a shoe on the other foot point: just remember that if this guy "gets hot" he might have more options than you if he's got the winning personality and characteristics that you describe. HIS grass may get greener than you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 1:00 PM GMT
    @ Malefeet

    You should not be confused. I want a partner whose views of the world resonate with mine. Obesity does not. I am not sexually attracted to an obese person. I couldn't 'get it on' so to speak icon_neutral.gif
    Being unhealthy is not sexy at all. I find obesity unhealthy whatever the cause is. Am not saying you should be sculpted. These are my views.

    There are many push and pull factors.
    A beautiful mind is a huge pull
    Obesity is a major push
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 13, 2011 1:03 PM GMT
    Lux_ said@ Malefeet

    You should not be confused. I want a partner whose views of the world resonate with mine. Obesity does not. I am not sexually attracted to an obese person. I couldn't 'get it on' so to speak icon_neutral.gif
    Being unhealthy is not sexy at all. I find obesity unhealthy whatever the cause is. Am not saying you should be sculpted. These are my views.


    Thanks for the clarification my handsome friend....icon_cool.gif