Something I have always wanted to know

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 11:26 AM GMT
    As a fem gay I have few questions to the masculine straight looking/acting ones, and no I'm not trying to pick up a fight or something.

    I know that most of you are annoyed by the fem gays and I would like to know what exactly is annoying about them. Their appearance: make-up, nail polish, heels, female clothing..? Loudness? Behavior?

    And another thing, I read some other topic and it clearly shows most of you are more likely attracted to other straight looking masculine guys. So I would like to know if any of you are attracted to fem guys? Physically or mentally?

    I'm just asking this because naturally I look very feminine and I wanted to know if I should get my hopes up/down before I step into the gay clubbing, bars and such. I'm not one of those who are all loud, wearing female clothing, make-up, "hey gurl! you lookin' fierce" and such, I'm just biologically more feminine... And I'm so not going to hit the gym to get all buffed and such, not because of laziness but because it's not who I am.

    Somebody told me that masculine gays end up with other masculine gays and fems end up either alone or with other fems. That really scared me icon_eek.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 13, 2011 11:28 AM GMT
    Honestly, I am not sure that very many gay men do know exactly what they want. icon_eek.gif
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2605

    Jul 13, 2011 12:02 PM GMT
    As a masculine gay man I don`t feel annoyed or threatened by the more fem gay,it`s just I`m attreacted to men who are masculine;yes,like myself.Don`t ask me why,but I`m attracted to all things masculine and go for fit,muscled,hairy guys.You know what you feel down there.
    Having said that,I have dated more fem guys occaisionally,but I always seem to come back to the more manly gay.
    I think it may be something to do with how we`re drawn to guys like ourselves;we seem to have more sympathy with them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 1:11 PM GMT
    Moving to an area with a large population of openly gay men will tell you your answer.
    Some masc guys only date other masc guys.
    Some fem guys only date other fem guys.
    Some masc guys only date fem guys.
    Some fem guys only date masc guys.
    Sometimes alcohol can change all of the above.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 13, 2011 1:15 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidMoving to an area with a large population of openly gay men will tell you your answer.
    Some masc guys only date other masc guys.
    Some fem guys only date other fem guys.
    Some masc guys only date fem guys.
    Some fem guys only date masc guys.
    Sometimes alcohol can change all of the above.



    Crème de Violette anyone...? pirate_2.gif
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Jul 13, 2011 1:21 PM GMT
    Remember, whatever people hate about others is usually something they despise within themselves. Maybe they're seeing something in you that they are jealous of or wish they could be or maybe no accepted about themselves.

    Here's an idea--I'd not worry. People find love in the craziest of places. Just be yourself, date guys you like and not worry about the details. We don't want the community at large to put us in groups-let's not put each other in groups.

    Just be. You'll have a much better time without the stress of it all.

    Peace,
    Bardy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    I, too, have always been attracted to more masculine men. I am not threatened by, nor do I dislike men that are not masculine. I just am not usually attracted to anything fem. However, there have been exceptions, just like with anything else.

    I'm also not necessarily basing masculinity on his athleticism or body tone, but the overall package.

    I will say that when I was single, I never ruled out the possibility that a less than masculine man would be partner material. But, my partner is masculine.
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    Jul 13, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    annony4 saidI know that most of you are annoyed by the fem gays and I would like to know what exactly is annoying about them. Their appearance: make-up, nail polish, heels, female clothing..? Loudness? Behavior?

    Nah!... I'm sorry to say that!, but to be honest doesn't matter to me "appearance" or if someone is str8,bi,gay, lesbian or older,lol... doesn't matter if someone is str8 acting or not, str8 looking or not, also doesn't matter if someone is black or white,passive or active, asian or arab, fat or fit! whatever religion they belong to!... cuz "I love all!" ahahaha.... Howerver this person has to be really dirty, nasty and wild in bed!, u know "someone who knows how to make me feel happy and really satisfied!... cuz "This is the most important thing to me!"... all the rest is just an extra bonus.icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 1:35 PM GMT
    I am gay because I'm into men, not into women who feel trapped in men's bodies. That's to put it the extreme way.

    For me it's a turn off if a guy is really feminine in behavior and style. I want a masculine, rough man, which does NOT mean that I wouldn't want a man who can be caring and soft.
    Anyway.

    If you say you look anatomically feminine, it's not your fault. A man with soft features can also look attractive.




    But that's just me. There are a lot different tastes and I'm pretty sure there are also masculine guys who are really into feminine guys. Just try it and you will most surely get lucky.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 1:39 PM GMT
    I would like to add one thing. I do not like the term "straight acting". To me, masculing does not equate with "straight acting." I'm not straight acting or acting straight. If I was, wouldn't that imply that I was screwing women, living in the closet, etc.?

    I am naturally masculine but far from straight acting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    Well in terms of attraction, you can't help what ur type is. I like masculine features, muscles, facial and body hair ect.

    I think a lot of masculine guys have issues with fems because fems are the highly visible "stereotypical" gay guy. This can make it hard to come to terms with ur own sexuality. It's like people will think, ok I'm gay but don't want to wear feather bowas or carry a purse. Now I know this sounds ridiculous, but the way the media portrays gays, its really not. Growing up the only gay guys I saw where either highly visible fem types or queer eye types on tv. This made it hard for me to accept being gay until I got to college and matured enough not to stereotype my own people. I realized I can b gay and have a terrible fashion sense and no nothing of interior design. To be gay is to like men, not to dress a certain way or talk with a lisp.

    That being said I have no problem with fems, but prob wouldn't associate with many due to lack of common interests.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 1:55 PM GMT
    Personally I find those guys who go on and on and on about masculinity more a turn off and that whole bullshit "I'm gay because I like guys" well, that's a massive turn off and whats even worse that in my much younger days before I finally grew the fuck up, I used to say that same shit...

    DAMN was I an idiot!

    But anyway, I like fem guys, I like the more rough and tumble, I like a guy who is himself, not some silly construct of being "a man"
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 13, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    wolverinecub86 said Growing up the only gay guys I saw where either highly visible fem types or queer eye types on tv.


    Growing up, the very first gay guy I ever saw was.....Little Richard....icon_eek.gif

    little-richard.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 2:12 PM GMT
    I dont mind fem gays as they are all part of the gang bang. But I could never date one. Just not my thing. I am attracted to masculine men. Even the slighest queeny voice is enough for my dick to go limp. Just different strokes.
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    Jul 13, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    to the op, I actually had a similar question so thankyou for posting, I'm neither particularly masculine nor particularly fem in appearance or demeanour (if gender was defined as 1 fem and 10 masc. I'd be right on 5) and was trying to get up the courage to post on here (still working up the nerve to put up a photo too obvi, lol). I mean I am who I am and feel no shame about it but occasionally I do wonder if that's going to mean I'm single the rest of my life because of it (usually am told I'm too masc for some and too fem for the rest).
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    Jul 13, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    Aza86 saidto the op, I actually had a similar question so thankyou for posting, I'm neither particularly masculine nor particularly fem in appearance or demeanour (if gender was defined as 1 fem and 10 masc. I'd be right on 5) and was trying to get up the courage to post on here (still working up the nerve to put up a photo too obvi, lol). I mean I am who I am and feel no shame about it but occasionally I do wonder if that's going to mean I'm single the rest of my life because of it (usually am told I'm too masc for some and too fem for the rest).


    Just b urself. One thing I remember from psych class was that you cannot love another until u first love urself. So grab some lotion and love thyself.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Jul 13, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    You never will be truly happy unless you can just be yourself. Don't try to be something you think others want you to be, because there will always be someone who may not like that either. Everyone is unique, so embrace your own uniqueness, own it, and let the rest fall into place as you live your life.
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Jul 13, 2011 3:05 PM GMT
    "The root of homophobia is gynophobia."
    I heard that from some psychiatrist on a talk show years ago, and I think there's truth in it. The world is male dominated and there is a significant percentage of males, gay and straight, that resents women at some level. Over the years, it's been my observation that men ( again, gay and straight) who truly appreciate women rarely have a problem with feminine men.

    I would make a distinction between a feminine man and a toxic queen; no one likes the latter.
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    Jul 13, 2011 3:23 PM GMT
    I prefer my men somewhere in between. Super butch mountain man is not on my dance card. Femmy Fembot is also not on my dance card. This is why I like my Latinos - they seem to worry about looking good oftentimes. White guys that are in-shape and masculine, dress really well and aren't super-rugged make me look twice. Who wants to be my boyfriend? icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 3:32 PM GMT
    1) There is only one thing, faking fem mannerism.
    2) Everything else is just the other person's own issues with being gay.

    You will find a lot of the 2) around here. Remember, anyone from anywhere can post here.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Jul 13, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    Like someone else said, if you're fem, a big first step is having a common interest with a masculine guy.
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    Jul 13, 2011 3:39 PM GMT
    k2fatboard saidI prefer my men somewhere in between. Super butch mountain man is not on my dance card. Femmy Fembot is also not on my dance card. This is why I like my Latinos - they seem to worry about looking good oftentimes. White guys that are in-shape and masculine, dress really well and aren't super-rugged make me look twice. Who wants to be my boyfriend? icon_cool.gif


    White? check
    in shape? Matter of opinion
    Masculine? I like to think so although I will do a "hey gurl" every now and then
    Dress well? My Prada suit is being altered (pants taken in AGAIN w00t)
    Super rugged? Nah, I was a photography major in college. How rugged can you be?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 4:05 PM GMT
    "I am gay because I'm into men, not into women who feel trapped in men's bodies. That's to put it the extreme way." or "I like men,not men that act like women"


    As someone who is feminine too.It's things like this that annoy the hell out of me. It has a "There's something wrong with you" kinda of tone to it. Personaly there's nothing wrong if a masculine gay wants another masculine gay,but there is no need to say stuff like this.

    But anyways...

    Like paul said

    Some masc guys only date other masc guys.
    Some fem guys only date other fem guys.
    Some masc guys only date fem guys.
    Some fem guys only date masc guys.

    I remember watching an interview of JuJubee from Rupauls drag race talking about how his boyfriend is masculine & he's a drag queen lol.I'll try to find it.

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    Jul 13, 2011 4:16 PM GMT



    Here he is talking about femininity,sorry for kinda derailing the post lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    for me, personally, it's when someone is affected in their mannerisms and not comfortable in themselves....this is true regardless of whatever gender extreme it is in. it just basically reads like someone who is not comfortable with themselves and is too much work. i'm pretty low maintenance and can't be bothered with someone who requires alot of presentation work in daily life (not for actual presentations).

    i like the whole spectrum, except the fascist part....as stated above...