"He's a bachelor"

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    Jul 13, 2011 11:03 PM GMT
    It's gotten so that describing a single guy with the word "bachelor" doesn't carry the baggage that it did for a long time. There aren't only still bachelor parties, there's the reality show "The Bachelor," and there's more dropping of the term in everyday conversation.
    But with people past a certain age "bachelor" is still code for "Gay." While I was out with several friends last night, talk turned to the brother of one who is in town visiting from his home in The Netherlands. Seems the guy has gone European in a major way, insisting on Dutch tea at 4 every afternoon and a frothy cappuccino for breakfast each morning. He also wears a "funky European nightshirt" to bed and was described as "very tidy and fastidious." After hearing this, a 70-ish woman in the group said, "Let me guess, is he a bachelor?" "Yes, he is." "I thought so." icon_rolleyes.gif
    From childhood into my early adult years, I always heard that word as a euphemism. If a guy was straight and unattached he was said to be single or divorced or widowed or whatever. So the b-word was a clue-in without fail. I hadn't heard it invoked for that purpose for a long long time until last night. (National Lampoon included at least one National Lampoon dictionary definition in every issue. Once it was, "Bachelor = Homosexual." LOL)
    Probably "bachelor" as a code word will die out once the generation that still uses it that way does. But not necessarily. That's why I thought I'd post this to find out whether anybody hears it much these days.
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    Jul 13, 2011 11:11 PM GMT
    Today, for the most part, one can simply now say, He's a big homo.

    Or a dandy, or a metrosexual, or whatever.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Jul 13, 2011 11:48 PM GMT
    You can play Code Word all you like, but I have always understood "bachelor" to mean an unmarried male. Why fiddle with the language when these days you can simply say "He's gay." Winking and innuendo are silly.
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    Jul 14, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    MuslNorganLikr said"He's a bachelor"

    Actually, I believe the phrase was and may still be "confirmed bachelor."
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    Jul 14, 2011 12:13 AM GMT
    Bachelor over "a certain age"...... = GAY!!!
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    Jul 14, 2011 12:51 AM GMT
    Actually, most bachelors I know who are my age are divorced straight guys. There seems to be quite a few guys my age with failed marriages, and there are plenty of interested dates waiting for them.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 14, 2011 12:52 AM GMT
    eagermuscle said
    MuslNorganLikr said"He's a bachelor"

    Actually, I believe the phrase was and may still be "confirmed bachelor."


    Yes, when speaking of a gay man.....I actually had a lady ask me this a long time ago...before I even knew what it meant.....obviously she knew...lol icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 14, 2011 1:54 AM GMT
    I remember a family member asking me if I was "One of the Boys" which meant gay. The other term I know is "He's not the marrying kind" or even this: "He's unmarried". Here's one more: "You can count on him to be an 'extra man' at dinner parties." In the days my grandparents gave formal dinners, the tables had to be balanced. If you had a few widows or divorcees, there were some good looking well mannered gay men who owned dinner jackets or tuxedos - and could be invited to be an 'extra man' and fill in as dinner partners for these unattached ladies. The ladies liked these gay men because they were charming and there were no indelicate bed time expectations at the end of the evening. I guess the straight 'extra men' would sometimes put the make on the ladies, where the gay guys had no problem in those areas!

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    Jul 14, 2011 2:28 AM GMT
    Or, "He's available". ;-)
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    Jul 14, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    Just for clarity... a divorced or widowed man cannot be a bachelor. A bachelor is specific to a man that has not been married and no longer a minor. A confirmed bachelor is a lifelong bachelor that has never shown an interest in marriage or commitment, and for many decades has been a euphemism for a gay male.

    When my partner and I wanted to start estate planning, the first thing our attorney did was make a point of defining each of us as a "Confirmed Bachelor".