Have you ever known of or had a friend who was a pathological liar?

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  Jul 14, 2011 4:26 AM GMT

  I have a friend who I legit think is a pathological liar.
  
  What would you guys do in a situation like this? It would be funny if everything he was telling me was actually true lol. Although highly unlikely.

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  Jul 14, 2011 4:36 AM GMT

  Buy her some more to drink.....and then drive her back home...alone.

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  Jul 14, 2011 4:37 AM GMT

  Huh? that doesn't even make sense.

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  Jul 14, 2011 4:42 AM GMT

  can't say if it's all true or not, but what my friends told me about this one friend was that she would make claims she was getting married to this guy. And well she talked about him and all this stuff, but when they posted on her myspace how hot he was (since he was a friend) she never accepted the comments. They basically thought she was a liar because of all of her stories. Can't say I believed her, but can't say I didn't since I have faith in my friends. I figure if she was lying well shame on her, if not well shame on the others.

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  Jul 14, 2011 5:43 AM GMT

  Yes. I worked with one for quite a number of years. We got to calling him Topper, like the character from the Dilbert comic strip. If you know that strip he fit it to a T.
  For example. One day we had some customers visiting the office and I took them outside for a smoke break. Topper was there as well. One of the visitors commented that it looked like a storm was approaching and if any of the very high lamp posts at our facility had ever been struck by lightning. In an instant Topper chimes in regaling them with the time the previous summer he had been back east at one of our other facilities installing some computer stuff, gone outside for a break and was struck by lightning..All just said in a matter of fact manner. Funny how no one in our office had ever heard this before, even the ones who were on the same team there.. nor anyone else in that office (I checked).
  
  Another time at the end of the day I'm standing at the doorway of a coworker asking if she wanted to stop by the casino on the way home for a few drinks etc. Topper overhears us and immediately pipes up about how he doesn't agree with gambling but his wife won something like $15,000 at bingo about 6 months previous on such and such a date and lo and behold if she didn't win another $15,000 about a week after that again. This from a guy without two nickles to rub together, driving a shitbox car etc etc etc.
  
  The stories were endless and I think he actually believed them as they spewed from his mouth

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  Jul 14, 2011 5:45 AM GMT

  I've known people like that. Not my friends, though.

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  Jul 14, 2011 6:55 AM GMT

  When I worked at Hewlett-Packard in Palo Alto, we had a secretary-receptionist who had this problem. Her lies were harmless, so to my knowledge nobody ever called her on them. The little lady was about 40, short, fat, well dressed but homely at the same time. She wanted to be adored, and no man adored her, obviously. This became apparent when each Monday, big gorgeous flower arrangements would arrive for her. She "just happened" to have big empty vases available under her desk. She put the flowers in water and kept everybody regaled with her guessing just which H.P. executive could be sending all these flowers to her. Her "secret admirer" never revealed himself. Finally we found out the florist bills went to her own home and she ordered and paid for all the flowers herself. Not a big lie, I know, but it was just one of many. Otherwise, this was a hard working employee, and did her job well - by most accounts. Sad, really.

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  Jul 14, 2011 11:14 AM GMT

  Yes, shame because she was really fun person but the biggest lie she has told and kept up for almost 6 years is unforgiveable. I can't look at her anymore.

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  Jul 14, 2011 11:21 AM GMT

  Yes. I had a 'friend' in school who constantly made up stories about what he has done, the scenarios he has gotten into etc almost to the point of compulsion. The lies were so obvious and often grandiose but sometimes very small and inconsequential, we all knew he was chatting bull and I called him out on it a couple of times when it really started to do my head in, but it's an ingrained habbit, so whatcha gonaa do eh? (shrugs)

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• Orias
  
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  Jul 14, 2011 1:28 PM GMT

  Yeah my sister, it's horrible.
  
  She recently moved back home after a long divorce, and seeing how she was in another country, she doesn't know us very well as I was young when she left.
  All my parents chocolates and snacks dissapeared the night she came, my parents asked her if she knew what happened to them and she told them I ate everything - to which they busted her on the spot because they know I don't eat junk food nor drink anything but water.
  
  One of her many many many many lies. Before she moved in she would always tell us farfetched stories about her room mates t hat she now has to evict , was a new one each month. I'm sure they were leaving because of her lies, if they existed at all.
  
  She is extremely scared of confrontation and I know all her lies are her brain's way of defense to prevent confrontational situations, but I'm too old for this shit. Every time she pops a lie I bust it wide open in front of her and anyone who's around us, and she runs away.

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  Jul 14, 2011 1:29 PM GMT

  I was one once.... quitting drinking 15 years ago really helped to overcome that problem.

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  Jul 14, 2011 1:39 PM GMT

  When iWas young and naive I fell for this guy hard. We eventually became lovers for almost two years. While we were together I would notice he would tell little lies to random people for laughs. I never really thought anything of it, since I was naive and he wasn't telling me lies, or so i thought. After we broke up I found out a lot of shit. He lied about his name, his age, his family, his past relationships, basically a lot of what makes us who we are. It was then that I realized that he was a pathological liar and our relationship became estranged. For that reason and another reason I would rather not say. I will say that I was lucky enough to come across him online and he apologized for everything. Sadly he suddenly and surprisingly passed a couple months after that. I am thankful that he did that, but even after 18 years I still have minor trust issues.
  
  
  Sidenote, he is the only ex where the relationship became estranged. The lies were just too much at the time.

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  Jul 14, 2011 2:48 PM GMT

  No but I worked with a client who was one.
  
  She's in jail now.

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• TheIStrat
  
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  Jul 14, 2011 2:50 PM GMT

  Yeah. He can't help himself. It's sad. He lost all his friends. I keep him at arm's length. He's a mess

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• spunkywasabi
  
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  Jul 14, 2011 3:09 PM GMT

  I indeed have a friend who is pathological liar. We have been buds for nearly 9 years. He is obese, short, straight and a virgin at age 26. He has been a liar for a long time, but it wasn't until we lived together in college that I discovered how bad it really was. I believe the first major lie was that he wasn't a virgin and made up this ridiculous tale of sexual conquest which he has later admitted to me (and me only) that it was fake. He doesn't lie about big things, but rather the insignificant things. Regular lies include saying he has seen a movie he hasn't seen. When questioned about it he basically just starts to describe the trailer. He also tends to lie about the amount of food he consumes (closet eater, which I discovered in college when I would hear him make food at 3am.) He lies about places he has been, about knowing people, makes up statistics, and the most annoying of them all: will directly lie to your face about an action or phrase that he just did/said. Or telling another friend he is just staying in for night but really hanging out with a me. Most of his close friends recognize now how much he truly does lie and the irrationality of his lies. I have been thinking more and more how he is poison in my life. I just have a difficult time letting go of long time friends and feeling like I am abandoning them. He truly is a person of great talent and value, plus he is funny as hell. but if he is lying to others with me, then he is most likely lying even more to me than I know. that is unsettling. :-(

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  Jul 14, 2011 4:24 PM GMT

  Yeah, friend in highschool. He was also a sociopath and did a lot of things to me and my friends, I hit him the in the mouth pretty hard after a destructive episode of lies. He pressed charges, 2 years of probation made a man out of me, and he is now a prostitute in arizona. Story of my life.

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  Jul 14, 2011 6:39 PM GMT

  ZbmwM5 saidNo but I worked with a client who was one.
  
  She's in jail now.

  
  
  Cool story bra!

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  Jul 14, 2011 10:09 PM GMT

  
  For people who don't understand, it's a joke. But for anyone who has been close to a pathological liar, it's just a sad situation.
  
  It's true they think the lies are harmless, but when lies are made to explain previous lies, it gets out of hand and harm will come.
  
  I had a friend who it took me very long to determine that he was a pathological liar. I am guessing it came from a strong betrayal when he was younger, and it caused him to hide the truth to protect himself. It got worse with age, and with drug use (one more thing to lie and feel defensive about).
  
  By the time I realized it, I was bonded with him and his problem was my problem. I view it as a distructive disease that will hurt those around them unless properly armored up.
  
  There's no quick fix for this type of person. You can't put them in rehab and force them to drop their addiction. You can't threaten to leave if they don't stop. It's something they have to identify in themselves and get help with. I don't think it's hopelessly permanent, especially with the right help.
  
  If you decide to take this person on as a generous helping hand, you have to be very careful with yourself. Question everything past and present. Make it clear you know they have a problem with making stuff up, make it clear you don't judge them for it and know they can't control it, make it clear you are willing to help them but only if they are on board and want help. Also make it clear that they can't get angry when you don't believe them or trust them because that trust doesn't exist anymore and will be a long time rebuilding. Lastly, tell them all of their relationships will fall apart if they keep it up.
  
  g'luck

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• wild_sky360
  
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  Jul 22, 2011 4:14 PM GMT

  beardedrunner saidWhen iWas young and naive I fell for this guy hard. We eventually became lovers for almost two years. While we were together I would notice he would tell little lies to random people for laughs. I never really thought anything of it, since I was naive and he wasn't telling me lies, or so i thought. After we broke up I found out a lot of shit. He lied about his name, his age, his family, his past relationships, basically a lot of what makes us who we are. It was then that I realized that he was a pathological liar and our relationship became estranged. For that reason and another reason I would rather not say. I will say that I was lucky enough to come across him online and he apologized for everything. Sadly he suddenly and surprisingly passed a couple months after that. I am thankful that he did that, but even after 18 years I still have minor trust issues.
  
  
  Sidenote, he is the only ex where the relationship became estranged. The lies were just too much at the time.

  
  
  Creepy...I had such a similar situation with my last ex. And like you, he's the only one I never want to see again...still love all the rest. The little lies for laughs were offputting at first. I accepted them as humor, but then I started noticing all the other stupid lies. It was the worst case of denial, ever. The signs were there, but I couldn't imagine that the guy I loved so much, was a sociopath.

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  Jul 22, 2011 4:25 PM GMT

  i knew one when i was an astronaut, and there were several i met when i was an international spy.....

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  Jul 22, 2011 5:30 PM GMT

  Yes, a girl in high school, she made up the weirdest lies about her being adopted from the US and all that. Eventually people found out and they called her parents about a lie and discovered it wasn't true. Then everyone started bullying her and she decided to leave school. Our biology teacher said she had this condition in an artery in her neck or so that makes her come up with all these lies. I don't know if that is true though.
  
  Another girl I met was one as well, and she was a friend at the beginning until we all found out and confronted her. She then told us she was receiving counselling so we left her in peace, but I stopped hanging out with her because it was just difficult to hear all the lies.

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  Jul 22, 2011 6:13 PM GMT

  Well I did know a guy once who lied about a lot of stuff. I didn't really take him or anything he said very seriously. I kind of thought of him as something of an idiot. He thoroughly believed in magic and would tell our friendship group stories about how he was the prince of darkness and how he made flames shout out of his hands etc. In all seriousness. He also told us stories of extremely vicious fights that he'd supposedly gotten into, all of which he'd won, of course. The most vivid one was how he got shot three times while wearing a bullet proof vest and fighting three kidnappers (who had kidnapped his brother's girlfriend). It was just amazing, really. I couldn't take a word of what he said seriously, but to be honest, I didn't mind because it was quite entertaining. I also kinda felt bad because I think he was trying to build himself up to look cool.

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