How to stop thinking that "I need someone " and feeling lonely and absent-minded?

  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 1:57 PM GMT

    Those days I can't help thinking I am lonely and can't focus myself on my self-study, and couldn't fall asleep last night during my summer vocation.The only way I can stop myself thinking I am lonely and being abstracted is just masturbation.But that makes me tired (I need to study something by myself) and I can't quit it,I have tried a lot though.
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    Jul 14, 2011 1:59 PM GMT
    Start thinking that you're happy and blessed. No one can make you happy except you.
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 2:06 PM GMT

    I am just eighteen but I've experienced a lot of gay things by mistake in a year,just like a drama.After a mistake from the very beginning when I realized I was gay(I was "raped " by a "friend " when I knew few things about gay and the gay circle),I started to seek boyfriend.Soldier,worker,teacher and teacher.They like me a lot but I just can't feel anything that makes me happy,including sex(maybe sometimes feel painful)
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    Jul 14, 2011 2:09 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidStart thinking that you're happy and blessed. No one can make you happy except you.


    QFT
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    Maybe even sex can't make me high or a little happy if I don't love a man.Well,I just couldn't help feeling hollow sometimes so I just wanted to find the one I love to stop the continous desire.
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    Jul 14, 2011 2:21 PM GMT


    Accept that you do need someone. You need Love and you need to give Love.
    It's OK. It's not a sign of weakness.

    Love isn't just about sex and romance. Love your friends. Be kind and patient with your friends.

    Be kind and patient with yourself.

    And for now, Young Man, focus on your education and improving your skills and practicing your talents.

    You'll be happier with yourself and you'll make yourself a better boyfriend for some lucky guy in your future.
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    Fivealive said
    DOMINUS saidStart thinking that you're happy and blessed. No one can make you happy except you.


    QFT
    I don't agree on that when love is what you set as a very important thing in all your life.It's easy to say but hard to do.How to do it myself?Ignore the fact?Seek someone?I've done this before as I said even if love is too early for me in your eyes.
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    Jul 14, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    PresentMind said

    Accept that you do need someone. You need Love and you need to give Love.
    It's OK. It's not a sign of weakness.

    Love isn't just about sex and romance. Love your friends. Be kind and patient with your friends.

    Be kind and patient with yourself.

    And for now, Young Man, focus on your education and improving your skills and practicing your talents.

    You'll be happier with yourself and you'll make yourself a better boyfriend for some lucky guy in your future.



    THIS
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    Jul 14, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    carefreer said(I was "raped " by a "friend " when I knew few things about gay and the gay circle)


    I notice you put this word in quotes. Please don't use this word lightly when you're being serious about it. Being accused as a rapist is not okay.
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 2:30 PM GMT
    PresentMind said

    Accept that you do need someone. You need Love and you need to give Love.
    It's OK. It's not a sign of weakness.

    Love isn't just about sex and romance. Love your friends. Be kind and patient with your friends.

    Be kind and patient with yourself.

    And for now, Young Man, focus on your education and improving your skills and practicing your talents.

    You'll be happier with yourself and you'll make yourself a better boyfriend for some lucky guy in your future.

    Thank you.I will go to uni after two months and now I am studying myself.I doubt whether I am able to meet the guy I can fall in love with considering so many guys who are in their twenties or thirties are still alone and lonely.That may be what I keep thinking about.
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 2:34 PM GMT
    Pyrotech said
    carefreer said(I was "raped " by a "friend " when I knew few things about gay and the gay circle)


    I notice you put this word in quotes. Please don't use this word lightly when you're being serious about it. Being accused as a rapist is not okay.

    I don't know,I don't want sex but he got a little drunk and forced me……
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    carefreer said
    Pyrotech said
    carefreer said(I was "raped " by a "friend " when I knew few things about gay and the gay circle)


    I notice you put this word in quotes. Please don't use this word lightly when you're being serious about it. Being accused as a rapist is not okay.

    I don't know,I don't want sex but he got a little drunk and forced me……

    I meant I DIDN'T WANT TO ……Sorry,English is not my mother tongue (not because I was bad at study)
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    As someone said,connection via Internet is a kind of weak connection,but the most possible way to look for boyfriend is that.I keep thinking it a lot.
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 3:03 PM GMT
    PS:what university students have to in English-speaking country is what we did in our high school in my country.(we used to study sixteen everyday and and have no weekends )So,university in my country means freedom and carefree,I know I need to still do well in an university,so I am studying by myself for a higher start,but sometimes I can't help thinking those things.
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 3:07 PM GMT
    I heard that work can make you stop thinking randomly but why it just makes me abstracted...
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 3:20 PM GMT
    Maybe I need to think of some funny things to cheer me up:A teacher has loved me for one year though I told him I just liked him but couldn't fall in love with him and I told him we would stop connection after I graduated from high school.He called me little rabbit in private because he thought I was very white though I didn't think so,and I called him Big Yellow Rabbit because He was not as white as me.
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    Jul 14, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    It seems you need to talk to someone about the rape incident because that is affecting how you feel about yourself, how you see other guys and what they mean to you. Someone that doesn't know you is ideal because they can ask questions that might surprise you and are more honest.

    And I think that to help you overcome the feelings of loneliness and lack of love is to be more outgoing and social. Surrounding yourself with friends, family and like minded people (study partners?) will give you a more satisfying feeling that your life is full of happiness and optimism.
    They can only fulfill so much though it does help in the sense that you're staying connected to loving people and combining that with keeping an eye out for/noticing people that you will attract (because happy people do attract more people), you're going to meet people. It doesn't mean that you will attract people that will want you to be in a relationship with but the more you put yourself out there, the more chances you will find someone.
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 5:28 PM GMT
    jim_e,thanks for your word,however,Do I seem not outgoing?And I've nearly forget the "rape " incident,just someone wants to know it more.I just think too much,that is what let me seem not outgoing?You know,no matter how many friends you have,you'll still feel lonely unless you abandon yourself into drink and "noise".I can find lots of guys,but it is always like that they like me even like me at lot but I can't do the same.
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    Jul 14, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    carefreer saidHow to stop thinking that "I need someone " and feeling lonely and absent-minded?
    Read a few of AC's posts. That'll cure you completely.
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    Jul 14, 2011 5:33 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    carefreer saidHow to stop thinking that "I need someone " and feeling lonely and absent-minded?
    Read a few of AC's posts. That'll cure you completely.


    Why do you pick on AC Paulflex? Is it because he gets more attention than you...
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 5:50 PM GMT
    well,I think say out is better,thank you but I don't need to be cured,I am not sick,I just need a solution.Well,get into work everything may be OK.I think I am just too young to get something or share something .Goodnight.It is night here ,No more "wakeness".
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    PS:I accept any questions if anybody curious.good9,goodd8 to you all guys.XD
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 6:24 PM GMT
    I can't fall asleep,because suddenly I think of me of two years ago:the new term was just beginning,as I expected there's a Self-introduction.I went straight to the platform and said(in Spanish,and I don't speak Spanish ):Buenas noches a todos. No es frecuente que se presente la oportunidad para que todos me puedan oir, diré lo que tenga que decir en chino un poco más tarde. Ahora mismo me gustaríadeclararle a mi futuro novio delante de todos: Yo te amo!
    Aunque no me pueda oir en estos momentos, pero cuando levea, podré susurrarle al oido: cuando empezaron las clases delsegundo de bachillerato, dije delante de toda la clase en español que te amaba.
    Bueno, para acabar, perdoname si pienso en tí de forma desenfrenada. Lo que queda sería probar mi amor por tí através de una larga tarea de cosas por hacer. Me alegra mucho que tenga la oportunidad de demostrarlo. Cariño, a pesar de que nos separe miles de kilómetros, te deseo toda la suerte del mundo。
  • carefreer

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2011 6:35 PM GMT
    Once my ever dream was" have no sex and keep my first kiss until I encounter a guy who loves me and I love a lot ",is it silly?They all disappeared by mistake.
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    Jul 14, 2011 6:38 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    paulflexes said
    carefreer saidHow to stop thinking that "I need someone " and feeling lonely and absent-minded?
    Read a few of AC's posts. That'll cure you completely.


    Why do you pick on AC Paulflex? Is it because he gets more attention than you...


    I think it's because AC tends to do what this OP does and create a thread seeking attention, then keep posting to it to bump it up to the top of the forum until people continuously respond with "i love you" posts.