• mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Apr 23, 2008 8:24 AM GMT
    SOOOOOO!!! I know gentlemen... this topic has been hit NUMEROUS times... however. I dont think its really hit home with me specifically because I hadnt really experienced it... not this bad at least, until just now...

    Earlier tonight I called up an old friend from work... one who quit a while ago but I keep in contact with and we hang out on occasion. I think hes hot. Not many people do... in fact, most people think hes ugly...anwyays, I think hes hot.

    Ok.. So.... We drink a bit at my house... I put my arm around him... he doesnt care.

    We go to the bar and watch my buddy's band play, I pinch his nipples about a million times, he doesnt care.

    We get back to my house and start drinking again. After a bit, our rousing game of "asshole" starts to die down as half the room runs to the bathroom. So I put my arm around him, and lay my head on his shoulder. Nothing weird at first.. Actually, no reaction at all.
    After a few breif moments, I notice that his heart is racing like crazy. My first thought was "Oh. Crap. Did it take him this long to notice what had happened?" But no, he put his hand on my stomace and started rubbing it. Time passes, blah blah blah, and I end up tangled in his arms(large... muscular arms. He once picked me up by my leg with one arm). So anyways, Im twisted up in his business and decide... theres NO WAY this would be happening if he wasnt interested. I leaned my face towards him, and started kissing his neck.. gently, slowly, and sensually. His heart starting racing faster. He then "fell asleep." I say this because I knew that he was faking snoring, and theres no way that with a heart rate like that ANY human being could sleep. His face fell towards mine, and his lips ended about a centimeter away from mine... so what the hell could I do? I kissed him. He leaned away, a little weird. A few minutes later he did the same thing. So I did the same thing. Our food arrived, deliver.. god damn it. After eating, he stood up and asked the only girl in the room.... who was obviouslt preoccupied with another guy, how she was getting home and if she wanted him to walk him home, and he raced out the door.

    So... my question is... What the hell?

    BTW: this isnt the first time. Often times when drinking he'll offer me a seat next to him, when there isnt any room for me to possibly sit without sitting ON him. Ive had my arm around him numerous times and hes never seemed to care.
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    Apr 23, 2008 8:32 AM GMT
    I think maybe he's scared or something of intimacy. icon_confused.gif Obviously he fancies you from what you've written.
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    Apr 23, 2008 10:11 AM GMT
    He may be bi-curious, another words a guy who gravitates towards women but does have some sexual curiousity about men, especially those that he feels an emotional connection to.

    It would be interesting to here from bisexual RJ guys on whether their first M/M sexual experience was like this one, with a guy they were emotionally close to.

  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Apr 23, 2008 10:15 AM GMT
    This guy sounds like he's sending mixed signals. Don't waste any time wondering about him and get out there and meet a nice sorted Gay guy.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16412

    Apr 23, 2008 12:23 PM GMT
    I'd move on, I agree with the others. Stick with someone you know is being "straight" (pardon the pun) with you....icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 02, 2008 3:52 AM GMT
    yes, don't do anything with anyone who isn't exactly sorted and knows exactly what they want.. that way, you'll never take a chance on anything, ever.

    hes probably sexually curious about what it would be like, he obviously likes you a fair bit and you might grab him in a way that other guys don't.

    Just let things take there own course, if something happens it happens, but don't try to force it and if nothing else, enjoy the friendship (and perhaps sexual tension icon_razz.gif)
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    May 02, 2008 4:17 AM GMT
    I have to agree this is a no-win situation for you. Whether he's gay or bi or bi-curious doesn't really matter. He's obviously not ready to broach that subject and who knows how long it will take him to get there. You shouldn't put yourself through all of that. It would be like coming out all over again, except you've already stepped outside and you're chained to a man who cannot possibly step through the doorway.

    You deserve more than heartache.
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    May 02, 2008 4:53 AM GMT
    I'm bi and it was a long long time before I would cross the line.

    This guy is not ready. He still has fear and confusion on the subject of guys and his own sexuality.

    This sounds less like a sex tease than you are playing with a banana that isn't ripe yet.

    Next time he comes on to you, push him away and say, 'don't start a fire if you don't want things to heat up.'
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    May 02, 2008 5:07 AM GMT
    Now even two gay men can play games, and time can pass before anything happens.

    I had a collage mate, Whom befriended me from day one. He used tho do things that were I thought weird. But once we stared to have sex, it all fell into place. but still the whole thing was weird. He is bi, and it was like for him. Nothing had ever happened.
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    May 02, 2008 2:08 PM GMT
    so tere were some other people in the room.maybe he couldnt do it in front of others.try to get some privacy with him.if he hadnt wanted you, he wouldnt let you those naughty thing to him. and considering his heart beat,he couldnt be unconcious.
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    May 02, 2008 2:17 PM GMT
    i think everyone seems to be in agreement that this is unhealthy for you, though i understand the attraction, and even that additional thrill of wanting something you're not sure you can get- don't let it draw you down a path you know will have to dead-end. if he were to submit and make out with you, it doesn't sound like anything remotely resembling a relationship would ever be likely to follow, no matter how comfortable he may get with just the idea of intimacy with a dude.

    i had a friend in high school that was str8, muscular, attractive... we messed around once at a friends house and he was into it, but the next week he 'found jesus' and decided it was a sin and he'd have nothing to do with it- wouldn't even acknowledge me in the school hallways. he flipped back and forth for two years like that with me, and its emotionally exhausting and unfair to you. leave it be.
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    May 02, 2008 2:23 PM GMT
    come oooon just let this kid have fun .if he fails,,so what? dont consider it a serious relationship.

    Posts: 641

    May 02, 2008 5:01 PM GMT
    True... what the heck??? Sure maybe he pussed out but he owed you an explanation.

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    May 27, 2008 1:17 AM GMT
    Sounds like he has issues to deal with and you're pushing him faster than wants to go at the present.

    Back off a little and see what happens.

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    May 27, 2008 1:28 AM GMT
    if you have the patience and want him, let him get used to things. don't push anything, just provide opportunities and subtle support, don't get negative about anything. but do understand that this is a rough road to travel and is likely to give you a lot of heartache. very few stories like this go from sweet little something to happily ever after without a lot of broken bones in the middle.
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    May 27, 2008 1:56 AM GMT
    I think you should stop barking up this tree and move on to the next. Being all touchy-feely doesn't mean a thing and you were the one who initiated it. You didn't get a response a few times and in my opinion, you seemed kinda persistant, which is sort of a turn off since you obviously had an agenda with this guy and it took nearly all night before you finally got any response from him. After drinking alcohol and having some guy constantly playing a game of "Touch me" all night I think my heart might race too but not in that way. Also he was liquored up so of course he's gonna start playing the game too sense he's thinking that you really are just playing.

    If you want an honest response from someone that isn't hindered then try doing the things you did without the use of alcohol and without certain disctractions like friends. Also don't jock on guys because that's what you were doing. You can say it was innocent touching and flirting all you want....it wasn't and you did it for a reason. You were straight up jocking this guy way too hard. He was drunk but not drunk enough to do what you wanted him to do and he ended it in the best way possibly by leaving. Sucks that you were left high and dry but that's how it goes.

    As I suggested before try not being persistant and lose the use of alcohol. Best bet would be to try actually talking to this guy. I wouldn't call this a tease. I would call it a failed attempt at getting some ass. It happens.
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    May 27, 2008 2:02 AM GMT
    It's tough to 'call' this one until you tell us exactly what YOU want out of the interaction? Sex? Love? Romance? Bromance? Scandal? Perhaps then you can best decide how to move forward.
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    May 27, 2008 2:07 AM GMT
    he just sounds confused. it sounds like he wants it but is afraid to act on it. i say, just go with the flow. as long as things dont get awkward you are ok... but if it gets weird, dont push up on him anymore.