Death

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    Jul 16, 2011 11:35 PM GMT
    Stop and think about death and the words that we use to describe the passing of a person.

    Do you notice that many of the ways we use to describe death is to keep it at bay? Instead of saying "He's dead" we say "He's gone to a better place" or "Oh he's gone away for a long, long time." We seem to find ways to change the environment that surrounds death, giving it a different feel.

    Do you believe it is important to change the ways that we approach death?

    Here's something I would really be interested in reading from you all:

    What are you earliest experiences with death? How do you think you came to fully understand what death is?

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    Jul 16, 2011 11:45 PM GMT
    hmmm death, the absolute end of what is hopefully a lovely life.

    I don't know where my views of death came from or why they are what they are but to me death isn't anything that's scary or needs changing.

    We are all going to die, it is inevitable as it is we are all going to breath.

    I don't get why people are scared of something that has to happen, nor why it's such an uncomfortable topic to discuss, people seem terrified of that one simple moment when our selves stop and there is nothing left.

    I don't believe in god or the afterlife, I don't believe that after death we go anywhere or do anything, so when we do I don't think there is anything after death, we just stop and on goes the world without us.

    My earliest experience? my best friend at 17, actually he was a lot more to me at 17, but yeah lost him.

    Last experience was my mother a few months ago, everyone had a lot more difficulty then I did with her death, it's okay that she died of course I would have preferred her not to die at that time that she did, but that's okay, we don't usually get to choose the time and place of our own making, it simply happens and everyone has to take it in, feel the pain of the loss of a loved one in life and move forward and think of the good things we shared with that person.
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    Jul 16, 2011 11:48 PM GMT
    tbh im scared of death, its one of my phobias, to know im not going to exist, as im not religious knowing that its over, ok now my head hurts :-)
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Jul 16, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    Changing how some people view death would also mean changing parts of their religious beliefs. Some do believe the departed are going to a better place.

    I have no idea how I came to understand death. No close member of my family died when I was young. It probably came from tv. Though my understanding of the concept of heaven was about when I was in the first or second grade. I remember attending an after-school bible session and I was concerned about animals getting into heaven. I don't remember what the woman said, but I was crying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    e.e. cummings - dying is fine)but Death

    dying is fine)but Death

    ?o
    baby
    i

    wouldn't like

    Death if Death
    were
    good:for

    when(instead of stopping to think)you

    begin to feel of it,dying
    's miraculous
    why?be

    cause dying is

    perfectly natural;perfectly
    putting
    it mildly lively(but

    Death

    is strictly
    scientific
    & artificial &

    evil & legal)

    we thank thee
    god
    almighty for dying
    (forgive us,o life!the sin of Death
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    Jul 17, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
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    Jul 17, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    How do you know you're alive?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    I have my own ideas on death, but I can't prove anything so I hope my ashes somehow benefit something living at some point down the line.
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    Jul 17, 2011 7:00 AM GMT
    My comments in RED.

    Soulasphyxi saidStop and think about death and the words that we use to describe the passing of a person.

    Do you notice that many of the ways we use to describe death is to keep it at bay?
    Absolutely. It gives us hope that there is "something" after an event which stops the physical person from being able to tell us "what's it like being dead".

    Instead of saying "He's dead" we say "He's gone to a better place" or "Oh he's gone away for a long, long time." We seem to find ways to change the environment that surrounds death, giving it a different feel.

    Do you believe it is important to change the ways that we approach death?
    Absolutely. The sooner people face the inevitability of death and the fact that death can be sudden, the sooner people can get along with the business of truly living. It is my observation that people waste too much time with that which is of no value, and miss out on those which are most precious.

    Here's something I would really be interested in reading from you all:

    What are you earliest experiences with death?
    Things and people have been constantly dying ever since I can remember. It's like a conspiracy. If you think about it, every single person of the billions who were alive 200 years ago...are now dead (to the best of our knowledge). You know what that means? Most likely, we are ALL GOING TO DIE! Some of us will die quick, young, and tragically. Others will die slowly, so slowly that every single person who they ever knew will die before them. This is the curse of those who ever hold the mantle of "Oldest Person In The World". It is a macabre and onerous distinction.

    Also, fear of the "bad death" is rampant, but relatively uncontrollable. The ultimate slow death...dying of old age, can bring with it a particularly odd dichotomy of "hell". Either the body can give out first, while the mind is fully sharp, cognizant and trapped in a decaying vessel which no longer does the conscious bidding. Or, the mind fleets first, ready to ascend to another plane, while the body continues to live strong like a zombie, holding the "soul" to this physical realm. "Bad death" includes, but is not limited to the double-edged sword of medicine. Even the thought of being strapped down and all hooked up to tubes stuck into us with needles, tubes channeled up through our nasal cavity and down into our stomachs, tubes running from our colon into tidy fecal waste bags, tubes being run into our urethra up into our bladder so that urine can flow effortlessly from the body...can make even the strongest men shudder from the thoughts of the loss of dignity...and leakage. Can you picture it in your mind? Can't you just smell it too? And, let's not even think about all of the "bad death" that can come with violence, drugs, and even certain masturbatory stimulation rituals. Could this be why the Horror Genre of entertainment is so repulsively enticing? It's so awful, yet we can't seem to look away.


    How do you think you came to fully understand what death is?
    When I was 19 and got my HIV+ test result. I asked the nurse how long I had. She responded that I had about a year. In that moment, and in the ensuing 27 years, I have come to better understand what death is...and what it isn't. But then, I'm not dead yet, so I guess I still have some learning to do about death.



    In the end, I've learned to have a sense of humor about death. I've learned to accept death. Death is no longer the scary monster hiding under the bed. Death is nothing to really fear. It's only "death". Everybody dies. And, nobody who has ever died has complained about it yet. So, "death" has become my life companion. I know that eventually "death" may actually be a relief. I can only imagine growing to be so old that it becomes just way to tedious and difficult to do anything. The very concept of "Immortality" seems like a kind of "hell"...forever bound to this world (even if biomedical technology could keep us young and beautiful forever). So until then, I'm very happy with living in the moment. Just one day at a time (sometimes just one hour at a time). "Growing older". Not, "getting old". It's been kind of cool. I never expected to live this long.

    So, here's to "Death"! Long Live "Death"!


    ce_viva4_01.jpg
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    Jul 17, 2011 7:14 AM GMT
    Soulasphyxi saidDo you notice that many of the ways we use to describe death is to keep it at bay? Instead of saying "He's dead" we say "He's gone to a better place" or "Oh he's gone away for a long, long time." We seem to find ways to change the environment that surrounds death, giving it a different feel.


    Until human's figure out how to escape the ultimate disease called "death," they'll reason that the person went to the "other side" or "better place" as the main rationale to keep people from mourning indefinitely or being in a state of perpetual melancholy. This is why human's invented God: it's the best way to cope with death for now.
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    Jul 17, 2011 7:26 AM GMT
    Gym_bull saidDeath is the absence of life, and we all need to embrace it as a normal part of life.


    Meanwhile 200 years ago -
    Not flying is a part of being human, and we all need to embrace it as a normal part of life.
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    Jul 17, 2011 7:46 AM GMT
    oh gosh . . one could say so much . . .

    . . . the Catholic philosopher Peter Kreeft (a philosophy professor at Boston College i think) says that death is the tourniquet of sin . . .

    . . . a secular, humble approach might be similar, i.e., mortals who live an existence that lacks an ultimate sanction would be unbearable to themselves and to the cosmos . . .
  • Twenty_Someth...

    Posts: 1388

    Jul 17, 2011 8:12 AM GMT
    When I die I want them to cast me in titanium in the superman pose and shoot me off into space. Then I can drift forever through the universe.
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    Jul 17, 2011 9:09 AM GMT
    I think we could benefit from thinking that death isn't just the finality of our lives and not using it as an excuse to guilt trip/threaten people into doing positive things in their society because they supposedly will be punished in the afterlife, if there is such a thing. It's okay to not know everything.

    The death of loved ones and famous people are also markers in a concept of time. When I look back at when my dad died and think of what I've done since then and how my life has turned because of that death. It has given me more opportunities than obstacles and regret which is what dying and living should reflect upon.

    The most memorable deaths I've known were of a person I knew in primary school (I don't know what you guys call it in the US) and died in high school and a friend of my dads. This guy Ashley who was diabetic never took his meds and died from the disease. I didn't know him well but I still think about him every now and again.
    My dads friend (incredibly gorgeous) which he sponsored to come to Australia didn't have any family and was very young at the time, probably early 20s, moved to another state ended up drinking bleach and hanging himself in a local park. The thought of him doing that is so harrowing.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 17, 2011 10:01 AM GMT
    How we deal with death tells us about who we are as individuals and as a culture as a whole
    Western cultures don't like to talk about death .... It's something to be feared
    It has religious overtones where we are judged and sentenced possibly to an eternity in hell
    It's also final
    We will never see a loved one again and as an individual we have to come to grips with that fact
    Kubler-Ros had done groundbreaking work showing that there are stages to dealing with death and that we must go through each and every one of them to be able to get over this loss
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Jul 17, 2011 10:10 AM GMT
    I have recurrent crisis sometimes at night, just before sleeping, when I "think to deep" and start feeling that panicking dizziness emanating from the sudden awareness of life's absurdity and absence/complexity of understandable meaning. For a long time, I thought I was one of the only imbeciles who thought of such painful ideas, that was before I came to read Albert Camus and Jean-Paul Sartre.

    I get up in my bed, try not to scream, lose my breath, come to tears, and then calm down. The day after, I try not to think about it too much, I go to school and eat ice cream.

    ... That's what life is all about after all, enjoying ice cream. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 17, 2011 11:44 AM GMT
    Time spent thinking about death is as good as time spent dead. We all get there soon enough and nobody knows a thing about it except the worms.
  • bmoney1

    Posts: 244

    Jul 17, 2011 12:28 PM GMT
    I think death is a blessing. Maybeit's my whacky belief in God, but death is in no way a negative event in my mind.
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    Jul 17, 2011 12:50 PM GMT
    It depends on the person and situation. At the time of my grandmother's passing, I was not mentally ready. I was going to school full-time and I had some personal issues I was dealing with. Her passing pretty much affected me. I was in the same city as she was, yet I did not get to see her during her last few seconds of life-- because I spent half an hour trying to find some parking space that was close. For the next couple of years I beat myself up over it. I was not ready for her death. That whole year was hell. Seeing her struggle and suffer. It was a different pace from what I was used to seeing her move at. She was the kind of person who'd wake up at 5 every morning to cook, clean, do laundry, and whatever else could make her occupied.

    She was mentally prepared for her death.

    I suppose, since I can be somewhat emotional regarding the subject matter, I prefer to use phrases such as "pass on." We all know both mean the same, but it eases me to sugar-coat it, I suppose.

    Regarding my earliest experience: My uncle died in a car accident on Independence Day about 14 years ago. My neighbor was over and we were swimming. My mom was running frantically over the place. My aunt was also here. A few hours later my cousin and her family came over. When my neighbor and I got out of the pool to get something to eat, he kept talking; I wasn't paying attention.They were speaking in Tagalog, and although I don't speak, you knew something was up based on the tone of their voices. My neighbor went home. I showered and went downstairs to watch TV with my cousin. I asked her what happened and she said my uncle died. I was in disbelief. She said my mom didn't want her to tell me, but I really needed to know. I was going to find out anyway.

    An hour later, my cousin and her family left, my aunt, my parents and brother all left together. They told me to just stay home. They'd be back in a few.As soon as they left, I turned off the TV, grabbed my dog, and sprinted upstairs. I started to freak out and thought his ghost was in the house :p

    During the funeral, I started to cry when I remembered the instances where he'd ask for the vacuum cleaner.
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    Jul 17, 2011 1:02 PM GMT
    Well, it all depends on your belief system. If you are religious then yeah "He's gone to a better place" applies. If you are an atheist then yeah "He's dead" applies.
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    Jul 17, 2011 1:58 PM GMT
    No, I usually say "He's dead."
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 17, 2011 2:12 PM GMT
    Probably my earliest experience with "death" was with an elderly neighbor who died of cancer when I was 4 or 5 years old. I knew cancer was really bad and it was explained to me. I knew he was gone when he died. I'll never forget it.

    Interestingly, I remember viviidly the impact of death a couple of years later when I was taking a shower. My mother was doing some work on her nails or her hair or something and it suddenly hit me that she wouldn't always be here... and I wouldn't always be here. I remember crying about it and asking my mother about it. I remember she said, "I'll always be with you for the rest of your life". She was right.
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    Jul 17, 2011 2:16 PM GMT
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    Jul 17, 2011 2:17 PM GMT
    Something happy to think about as I go to bed :/

    xx
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2011 2:37 PM GMT
    Dear OP: what is it with you and death? First the funerals, and now this icon_sad.gif