I am ready to settle down.. now taking applications

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2011 1:58 PM GMT
    Looking for a husband... qualifciations are:

    1. Must love working out so that we can go to the gym together, be hotter than me because I have to look at you, but be weaker than me so that I can be all butch about it.

    2. Be completely emotionally stable so that you dont do the stupid things that gay guys do, but be a little bit unstable so that I can help you get through your issues and feel nuturing and caring... like Flo-Rida Nightengale.

    3. Have your own money, but be home all of the time.

    4. Love being a gay man, be proud of being a gay man. But inside our relationship, dont say stupid gay man things. "I cant handle this.... it is too good." or "I am in touch with my emotions. Here, let me lie about what I am feeling to show you." or my favorite "I am not afraid of commitment, I just dont ever want to be in a relationship with anyone, anywhere, anytime ever."

    5. Be five foot, seven inches tall. Give or take 3 inches. I can't stand when a height difference inhibits stand-up kissing.

    6. You can be uber- masculine, but dance with me on the stage at a gay club shirtless when my new favorite dance song comes on. (right now: it is "Give me Everything" by Pitbull). Oh, and if masculine means "dressing like a dork" then dont be that masculine.

    7. Please enjoy yard work and laundry. I got the kitchen and the bathrooms under control, but I hate yard work and laundry.

    8. Hate drama. Love musical theater.

    9. Allow me to name our dog-child. Prefer Jack Russells. Cats are allowed if they are nice ones. Toe biting cats .... mmmm.... gurl.... yous gotta go.... yes, chile.... toe biting cats gotts ta GO!

    10. Love the fact that I love you.


    okay.... either apply for the position or post your own requirements!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    I thought this would be clever and fun... obviously not.. aawww....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2011 4:00 PM GMT
    I thought it was cute and funny.

    I laughed at #9. I laugh at everything tho.


    Ahaha

    aha...

    aha...


    icon_sad.gif I'm such a lonely boy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2011 6:25 PM GMT
    it made me smile
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 17, 2011 6:55 PM GMT
    Alpha_Muscle saidLooking for a husband... qualifciations are:

    1. Must love working out so that we can go to the gym together, be hotter than me because I have to look at you, but be weaker than me so that I can be all butch about it.

    2. Be completely emotionally stable so that you dont do the stupid things that gay guys do, but be a little bit unstable so that I can help you get through your issues and feel nuturing and caring... like Flo-Rida Nightengale.

    3. Have your own money, but be home all of the time.

    4. Love being a gay man, be proud of being a gay man. But inside our relationship, dont say stupid gay man things. "I cant handle this.... it is too good." or "I am in touch with my emotions. Here, let me lie about what I am feeling to show you." or my favorite "I am not afraid of commitment, I just dont ever want to be in a relationship with anyone, anywhere, anytime ever."

    5. Be five foot, seven inches tall. Give or take 3 inches. I can't stand when a height difference inhibits stand-up kissing.

    6. You can be uber- masculine, but dance with me on the stage at a gay club shirtless when my new favorite dance song comes on. (right now: it is "Give me Everything" by Pitbull). Oh, and if masculine means "dressing like a dork" then dont be that masculine.

    7. Please enjoy yard work and laundry. I got the kitchen and the bathrooms under control, but I hate yard work and laundry.

    8. Hate drama. Love musical theater.

    9. Allow me to name our dog-child. Prefer Jack Russells. Cats are allowed if they are nice ones. Toe biting cats .... mmmm.... gurl.... yous gotta go.... yes, chile.... toe biting cats gotts ta GO!

    10. Love the fact that I love you.


    okay.... either apply for the position or post your own requirements!


    Oh oh let me apply let me apply, except instead of calling me husband can I be wife?

    I love working out, I go to the gym 4 times a week! Your stronger than me, and Im young. Do I win?

    Im emotionally stable, but I love watching a scary movie while a masculine guy holds me (so I feel safe)

    I have my own professional practice

    I love being a gay man, and I dont act like one, I act straight, I swear.

    Im 5'9"

    Im uber masculine and I love to dance, so much than I insist you dance with me.

    I enjoy the kitchen, the yard, and laundry. You can have the bathroom. Kitchen is negotiable!

    Love musical theatre. Favorites include Little Shop of Horrors, Wicked, A Chorus Line, Lion King, The Producers, American Idiot, and so forth. I love really bizarre theatre too!

    You can name the kids, but I stay home and take care of them.

    I all ready love you...(ok this one is a bit creepy for me)

    Do I win?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 2:41 AM GMT
    Chainers, there is an interview process together with a physical... err... audition....

    You up for it?

    Would you be okay if I name our Jack Russell "Boger"? What about "Douchedog"? What if I named him "Michelle Bachmann"?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    Boy, you're easy - I'd have thought that an applicant would have to like your children to qualify.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 5:19 AM GMT
    Is there an application fee?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 10:50 AM GMT
    No application fee.... just an audition. Take your pants off.


    And eager, the applicant doesn't have to approve of the children.... they children have to approve of the applicant!! They are cool kids... very funny, open minded, a little demented.... just the way they should be!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 5:12 PM GMT
    Alpha_Muscle saidChainers, there is an interview process together with a physical... err... audition....

    You up for it?

    Would you be okay if I name our Jack Russell "Boger"? What about "Douchedog"? What if I named him "Michelle Bachmann"?


    I will eagerly do the physical section of the interview and name the dog whatever you want other than "niggerfaggot"