Why do people cheat?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2011 6:28 AM GMT
    I am writing to find out why people cheat on their significant others.
    Recently i have trying to figure this out, most of my relationships fail, and i have never cheated, but i have been cheated on numerous times.
    It is me? or is there something more underlining?
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2011 6:30 AM GMT
    The grass is always greener...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2011 6:40 AM GMT
    People get "bored" and go looking....some are never intended to "settle down" in spite of what they say......it hurts all the same regardless....icon_sad.gif
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    Jul 18, 2011 6:59 AM GMT
    because they are untrustworthy idiots.
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    Jul 18, 2011 7:15 AM GMT
    I think it's easy to understand. Do you not get a thrill talking to a totally hot guy despite having a boyfriend? Do you suddenly stop enjoying porn because you're partnered up?

    People cheat because they see an opportunity to get a bonus on top of their current relationship.

    A better questions is why do some people refrain from cheating.

    P.S. even though it sounds like I am, I have never cheated and don't think I would ever cheat if I was in a relationship.

    P.P.S. Does anyone notice that on TV and MOvies, the person NEVER says "I don't want to hook up with you yet because it would make me unfaithful. I want to break up with my partner first"? Nooo it's always kiss or fuck and then wait to be caught and break up in a worse way.
  • alwaysonpoint

    Posts: 173

    Jul 18, 2011 7:29 AM GMT
    Skinny Bitch does have a good point. Several good points, actually. But I'm trying to cover this topic myself. I think that temptation can come to any of us, and some are weaker than others. On the other hand, some people cheat on purpose because they are unfulfilled in their current relationship. So basically, they go seeking something from elsewhere
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    Jul 18, 2011 8:29 AM GMT
    bored flaky sluts
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Jul 18, 2011 1:42 PM GMT
    Maybe it's because Homo sapiens is not a monogamous species. Females are more likely to be monogamous than males because they need stability to raise a family. As a whole, men prefer excitement to stability, want a variety of sexual experiences with different partners. Gay men are unchained from family obligation and are frequently in the excitement camp. Some gay men are more monogamous by nature and prefer a variety of emotional experiences with one partner. I knew a gay therapist once who said there was nothing wrong with being in either camp, but that a lot of misery would be saved by those who prefer excitement finding one another and those who prefer stability choosing each other. Unfortunately, the more socially conservative a society becomes, the less honesty there is. It becomes difficult for those who like to roam to say so and be themselves. They try to convince themselves and others that they prefer monogamy when the evidence of their lives is to the contrary.
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    Infidelity and cheating may be one symptom of the deeper betrayal of oneself, one's lack of commitment to one's own word, character, integrity or loyalty to another. Perhaps to guard against that tendency or becoming more self-aware of this tendency would be helpful, by affirming those values and to have people around you who can keep one accountable.

    Being a person of fidelity and honoring one's word/commitment are virtues to be admired in someone, wouldn't we agree? It sets us apart from the "animals", so to speak.
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    Jul 18, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    There are many reasons why people "cheat," and we cannot judge them unless we know their particular situation. Each situation is unique. That being said, in general people who cheat habitually lack self-discipline and integrity. When they cheat, they're usually looking for validation or affirmation.
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:07 PM GMT
    People who cheat lack a brain and any type of self-respect
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    rdberg1957 saidMaybe it's because Homo sapiens is not a monogamous species. Females are more likely to be monogamous than males because they need stability to raise a family. As a whole, men prefer excitement to stability, want a variety of sexual experiences with different partners. Gay men are unchained from family obligation and are frequently in the excitement camp. Some gay men are more monogamous by nature and prefer a variety of emotional experiences with one partner. I knew a gay therapist once who said there was nothing wrong with being in either camp, but that a lot of misery would be saved by those who prefer excitement finding one another and those who prefer stability choosing each other. Unfortunately, the more socially conservative a society becomes, the less honesty there is. It becomes difficult for those who like to roam to say so and be themselves. They try to convince themselves and others that they prefer monogamy when the evidence of their lives is to the contrary.
    That line in bold - It hit the nail on the head. If society weren't so hellbent on pushing their ideals on everyone else, the polygamy-minded people would be more willing to admit they're not monogamous. THAT, is the primary reason people cheat...because they feel they have to in order to be accepted into society.
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    Take a look at this recent article from the New York Times Magazine (dunno why the URL coding isn't working, but you get the picture):

    [url]http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/03/magazine/infidelity-will-keep-us-together.html?scp=2&sq=dan%20savage&st=cse[/url]
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    I recently asked my very wise friend this, and he said this:

    ''I think many guys cheat because they feel insecure. They need that affirmation from someone else. They don't love themselves enough to be able to simply live and are constantly looking for something. They aren't content. Do you know guys who are on Grindr and other web sites? From what I've seen, it becomes addictive and they can't stop. The reality never matches the fantasy but they keep trying. I have one friend who is on all of those sites when he is single. He meets all these people and hooks up but is never satisfied. When he gets into a relationship he gives a lot to the other guy but doesn't get anything in return. He's lonely, but he can't change his behavior. It's more difficult hanging out with him when he's single because he's always on the lookout. Many people cheat - men, women, straight and gay - but it doesn't mean all people cheat. ''


    I feel sorry for guys who cheat and the one that is cheated on. I could never do that myself and put myself through all that guilt.
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    He also continued with:

    ''Remember that - people react to how you treat them. If you are jealous and insecure they are more likely to cheat. If you are secure with yourself and KNOW that you are the best, it will attract a different type of person. It took me a long time to learn that lesson, but it's an important one. For example, I work with a woman who is insecure. Many people don't like her and she doubts ever decision she makes. It gets annoying and I've lost respect for her because of her actions. However, I've found a lot of people respect me because I'm honest and have integrity. I will make amends when I've made a mistake and take ownership of it, instead of blaming others (a sign of insecurity). I try to lift people around me up and they respond well to that. People wind up working harder for me because they get a lot of positive reinforcement from me. It can be the same with relationships. They take an incredible amount of work because a relationship holds a mirror up to a person. I wind up having to deal with things I don't like about myself and that's usually when people leave a relationship - because they don't want to change.

    You will doom a relationship if you go into it being afraid your partner will cheat.''
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    Jul 18, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    for what it's worth, "cheating" should probably be rephrased as BREAKING THE AGREED UPON RULES. each relationship has different negotiated boundaries. having more than one partner might not be cheating.

    people cheat for many reasons.
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    Jul 18, 2011 5:25 PM GMT
    Why not? the day when a man's words stopped being his bond- all bets were off.

    Men are sluts. A slut does what a slut is.
  • rebelbeard

    Posts: 558

    Jul 18, 2011 5:36 PM GMT
    Monogamy is not really in our genes. Our most basic need besides food and shelter is sex. It's what we were designed for. I dont doubt that people can choose to be monogamous, but people do naturally stray. It's happened to me before. It's of annoying when you are emotionally attached, but nothing you cant get over.
  • havingfunmtl9...

    Posts: 258

    Jul 18, 2011 5:37 PM GMT
    Because their needs are not being met currently through their established relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2011 5:42 PM GMT
    Women's favorite question: " Why do men Cheat?"icon_lol.gif


    It can be a whole bunch of things of why a person cheats.
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    Jul 18, 2011 5:45 PM GMT
    When I think of people who cheat (my dad being one of them) they seem to be people who like to take risks and gamble...I dunno if there's a correlation between gambling and cheating but my dad would go to Atlantic City every weekend and would always meet a beautiful woman and well....you know haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2011 6:14 PM GMT
    Nature does not know what "cheat" means. When
    it rains is that cheating on the sun?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2011 3:03 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidNature does not know what "cheat" means. When
    it rains is that cheating on the sun?


    That's counts for bukkake too, right? Just want to get my facts straight. icon_razz.gif
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Jul 19, 2011 3:14 AM GMT
    addisin saidI am writing to find out why people cheat on their significant others.
    Recently i have trying to figure this out, most of my relationships fail, and i have never cheated, but i have been cheated on numerous times.
    It is me? or is there something more underlining?
    icon_question.gif


    me too when u figure out let me know please.