Why is showing your sexuality off so important for a lot of gay people?

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    Jul 18, 2011 8:55 AM GMT
    I personally think, sexuality is one part of our lives and not all of it. If I am gay that doesn't free me from all other love and blood relations I have and my duties towards them or more importantly people think it would be horrendous to keep their sexuality related discussions to a minimum level.
    What do you guys feel, is it really important to be an advert of your sexuality or to keep it subtle?
    p.s I am not in favor of repressing the sexuality in any form. ;)
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:06 PM GMT
    That means we have to compete with them and if they're doing something wrong, we should do it more just to piss them off?
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:07 PM GMT
    di0nysus saidThat means we have to compete with them and if they're doing something wrong, we should do it more just to piss them off?


    Why should it piss them off, if what we're doing would otherwise be socially accepted?
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:09 PM GMT
    when your constantly told no, eventually you start getting rebellious icon_twisted.gif
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:14 PM GMT
    Because, to gay identified guys, they want to feel part of a larger group, after believing the lie that they are cut off from the rest of the male population due to their sexuality. Feeling a part of this larger gay group usually involves demonstrating behavior that indicates you're a part of that group. But since sexuality is intrinsic and behavior is external, it's nothing more than a shallow display.
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    Animus saidBecause, to gay identified guys, they want to feel part of a larger group, after believing the lie that they are cut off from the rest of the male population due to their sexuality. Feeling a part of this larger gay group usually involves demonstrating behavior that indicates you're a part of that group. But since sexuality is intrinsic and behavior is external, it's nothing more than a shallow display.


    Yep. Holding my boyfriends hand while we walk down the street is absolutely depraved! What are we thinking?
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    di0nysus saidThat means we have to compete with them and if they're doing something wrong, we should do it more just to piss them off?

    I don't have any control over thier reaction, getting pissed off is thier choice. I do, however, as a citizen of the USA, have a right to pursue happiness.

    "There's so much music in the world, if you don't like my music listen to someone elses' " - Phillip Glass
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:33 PM GMT
    Why is showing your sexuality off so important for a lot of gay people?

    I don't know why. But I think there's a difference between "showing it off" (aka flaunting) and subtly advertising it, as I sometimes do. Let me explain, as I have here before:

    I would never have gay indicators on my person or vehicle after I came out, though I was out to anyone who needed to know it. Then one day I was running late for a college class, and grabbed blindly into my closet for a shirt.

    After class a female student stopped me in the hallway, to thank me for being so "brave." I was puzzled, so she pointed to my polo shirt, embroidered with the words in rainbow colors "Gay Mens Chorus of Houston" a souvenir of my brief involvement with them.

    She explained she felt much better, a new student on that small campus with no gay student groups, to find another gay student and someone who was not afraid to be out. I directed her to the office of the gay faculty advisor to help her network with other gay students.

    Afterwards I reevaluated my decision to never display gay material, and soon had gay stuff on my car and motorcycle, and also that I wore. Small & subtle things, that likely only other gays would recognize, but to let them know they weren't alone, not to be frightened like that lesbian co-ed had been. It was for THEM, not to flaunt myself and show-off to straights.

    It's also why I attend Gay Pride & parades, to give encouragement to closeted gays, and to thank the many straights who support us.

    BTW, tonight my partner & I are going for cocktails and dinner with his straight sister, along with another straight woman. It won't bother my partner & me if some people assume we're 2 straight couples, so we won't be camping it up to correct them. It's not essential to us that everyone always knows we're gay, only when we ourselves choose to send the message within our own community of fellow GLBT and supporters.
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:49 PM GMT
    It's annoying the way gay people flaunt their sexuality like it's some kind of accomplishment. The whole "gay pride" term is ridiculous. You should be proud of something that you had something to do with, something you accomplished. You all say being gay is just who you are, so how is that something to be proud of? I think it's irritating to people because straight people don't have a flag or sticker or some kind of symbol posted everywhere, letting the world know they are straight. Maybe it's just implied that people are straight unless otherwise known, but why do you need to let people know? I mean straight people don't have parades and festivals celebrating heterosexuality. It's like black people having their own festivals or NAACP. People would get pissed off if there was a NAAWP or Straight Pride stuff. It's a double standard. Just be who you are, who you want to be, and don't care what other people think. Just live your own life and don't shove it in everyone's face. Because like it or not, that lifestyle still makes lots of people uncomfortable, whether that's right or wrong, but people have the right to not be subjected to things they find objectionable.
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    Jul 18, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    jamesbi1983 said...
    Because like it or not, that lifestyle still makes lots of people uncomfortable, whether that's right or wrong, but people have the right to not be subjected to things they find objectionable.
    And if everyone shared your mindset, homosexuality would still be punishable by death...just like it currently is in other countries where gays stay quiet.
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    Jul 18, 2011 2:01 PM GMT
    America is still the most tolerant country in the world. I'm not saying to be ashamed of your homosexuality or to say you're not gay if you are. I just think it gets annoying and old when it's forced out there for the world to see. Most people don't care either way. But that doesn't mean they need to know. It's like gay people want to be defined by it, so they make sure everyone knows they are gay.
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    Jul 18, 2011 2:30 PM GMT
    theantijock saidQuestion: How many gay people do you see flaunting their sexuality when you Image Google the word couples (pages 1-9)?

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&xhr=t&q=couples&cp=5&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1004&bih=529&wrapid=tljp131099479556206&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi

    Answer: 0

    Page 3 photo:

    couples-positions.jpg

    Yeah, we're the ones who are flaunting.



    Does anyone else notice the last image is of a girl eating another girls ass?
    sneaky gays
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    Jul 18, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    GwgTrunks said
    Animus saidBecause, to gay identified guys, they want to feel part of a larger group, after believing the lie that they are cut off from the rest of the male population due to their sexuality. Feeling a part of this larger gay group usually involves demonstrating behavior that indicates you're a part of that group. But since sexuality is intrinsic and behavior is external, it's nothing more than a shallow display.


    Yep. Holding my boyfriends hand while we walk down the street is absolutely depraved! What are we thinking?


    I'm not talking about behaviors, like physical intimacy with a guy, that are a direct result of being same-sex attracted. I'm talking about guys taking on behaviors and mannerisms that are socially attributed to being behaviors and mannerisms of women. The swishing walk, the "Hey girl, hunny, bitch" speak, and general tendency to embrace what is feminine while lambasting men who embrace what is masculine as being self-hating and internally homophobic.

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    Jul 18, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    Everyone is comfortable with different levels of sexuality.

    I, for one, am a very sexual person.

    I do not shy away from nudity or sex because it is natural part of our existence.

    Religion and conservativism have branded sex, sexuality, and nudity as "bad" or "evil".

    Personally, I feel very comfortable in my own skin and reject the need to shame myself or others for enjoying sex. JMHO


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    Jul 18, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    When society gets comfortable at seeing two guys in public holding hands or whatever- that's gonna take some exposure.

    It's like a cat and a dog that see each other for the first time! The cat hates the dog, but the cat eventually get used to having the dog around.
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    Jul 18, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    Soulasphyxi saidWhen society gets comfortable at seeing two guys in public holding hands or whatever- that's gonna take some exposure.

    It's like a cat and a dog that see each other for the first time! The cat hates the dog, but the cat eventually get used to having the dog around.
    Speaking of exposure, is Spring Lake Park still a hot cruising ground? I may go visit my family in a few months, and need to know where to get laid because - from what I understand - there's no gay bars around there (and the one that used to be there sucked anyway).
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    Jul 18, 2011 2:47 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Soulasphyxi saidWhen society gets comfortable at seeing two guys in public holding hands or whatever- that's gonna take some exposure.

    It's like a cat and a dog that see each other for the first time! The cat hates the dog, but the cat eventually get used to having the dog around.
    Speaking of exposure, is Spring Lake Park still a hot cruising ground? I may go visit my family in a few months, and need to know where to get laid because - from what I understand - there's no gay bars around there (and the one that used to be there sucked anyway).


    LOL

    I think I read in the paper or someone told me about all that hot mess at Spring Lake Park.


    Wait.... were you one of those guys once upon a time?icon_surprised.gif

    And if you're speaking of the Chute then yes it still sucks
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    Jul 18, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    I dont flaunt it. Well, maybe a little. I make gay jokes at work. I will say things like "I am gay fat" when talking about dieting or something. I dont let it define me. I dont wear it on my sleeve with people I dont know.

    When I was young I moved from the suburb in CT I grew up in and headed to the big city. I was always "the friend who lived in New York". It was all that seemed to define me. Now, with my 20 something straight friends I am "the gay one". But admittedly I put myself in that role. I know they like me, but it does get playing that role.
  • slimnmuscly

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    Jul 18, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    Animus said
    GwgTrunks said
    Animus saidBecause, to gay identified guys, they want to feel part of a larger group, after believing the lie that they are cut off from the rest of the male population due to their sexuality. Feeling a part of this larger gay group usually involves demonstrating behavior that indicates you're a part of that group. But since sexuality is intrinsic and behavior is external, it's nothing more than a shallow display.


    Yep. Holding my boyfriends hand while we walk down the street is absolutely depraved! What are we thinking?


    I'm not talking about behaviors, like physical intimacy with a guy, that are a direct result of being same-sex attracted. I'm talking about guys taking on behaviors and mannerisms that are socially attributed to being behaviors and mannerisms of women. The swishing walk, the "Hey girl, hunny, bitch" speak, and general tendency to embrace what is feminine while lambasting men who embrace what is masculine as being self-hating and internally homophobic.



    You're confusing self-esteem with conformity. By the way, do you know any of these people you're accusing of "shallow displays" well enough to make that judgment?

    And the only lambasting I've ever seen going on, having been out my entire adult life and lived all around the U.S. plus a stint in the U.K., is by so-called "regular guys," "masculine men," etc. complaining about the big bad femmes ruining everything for them.

    Meanwhile, in real life, the gay rights movement has made swifter progress than any other civil-rights movement, despite all the supposedly alienating behavior of the uncloseted.
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    theantijock saidQuestion: How many gay people do you see flaunting their sexuality when you Image Google the word couples (pages 1-9)?
    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&xhr=t&q=couples&cp=5&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&biw=1004&bih=529&wrapid=tljp131099479556206&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi

    Answer: 0

    Page 3 photo:
    [sex positions for heterosexuals]

    Yeah, we're the ones who are flaunting.
    20ap3bo.jpg
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    GwgTrunks said
    Animus saidBecause, to gay identified guys, they want to feel part of a larger group, after believing the lie that they are cut off from the rest of the male population due to their sexuality. Feeling a part of this larger gay group usually involves demonstrating behavior that indicates you're a part of that group. But since sexuality is intrinsic and behavior is external, it's nothing more than a shallow display.


    Yep. Holding my boyfriends hand while we walk down the street is absolutely depraved! What are we thinking?


    I love how he bitches about being labeled self loathing when all he does is loath gay men and brag about how straight acting he is.

    Didn't you know if we all pretend to be straight we would have equal rights by now, because, you know, equality is earned not a god given right.
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:30 PM GMT
    jamesbi1983 saidIt's annoying the way gay people flaunt their sexuality like it's some kind of accomplishment. The whole "gay pride" term is ridiculous. You should be proud of something that you had something to do with, something you accomplished. You all say being gay is just who you are, so how is that something to be proud of?

    Because like it or not, that lifestyle still makes lots of people uncomfortable, whether that's right or wrong, but people have the right to not be subjected to things they find objectionable.
    Coming out of the closet is a huge accomplishment for many people. It's not easy if everyone in your life is anti-gay.

    Also, there are many things that I find uncomfortable to be subject to that happen in public all the time. For instance, people stinking like curry and b.o., and that isn't even a biological thing, it's a cultural thing that they could change if they took a fucking shower!
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:34 PM GMT


    relevant video is relevant
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    Chainers saidDidn't you know if we all pretend to be straight we would have equal rights by now, because, you know, equality is earned not a god given right.
    I know I already used this gif in this thread, but it is extremely relevant.
    20ap3bo.jpg
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    Jul 18, 2011 3:56 PM GMT
    I think the bigger question is who gives two shits if someone defines themselves by their sexuality? I swear, we Americans are so quick to crucify anything sex-centered. People need to get off their high horse with their "Sexuality is just one PART of me" bullshit. That's all well and good, and I share the same sentiment. But I don't go around condemning others who happen to revolve their life around their sexuality.This goes for anyone: gay, straight, bi, tri, masc, femme, male, female, and everything in between. Live and let live.