Does he like me?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 24, 2008 7:03 AM GMT
    I just want to start off by saying that I'm sorry for asking, and I know everyone asks this... it's just that I don't have many gay/bi guy friends to talk about this sort of thing with.

    Ok. So this is the basic does he like me sort of thing/what the hell is he thinking??

    We met about 6th months ago, we play classical music together. We have a great connection between us, we are easily the best of friends. We spend every moment together... every meal, keep in mind that we are in a college dorm so that isn't too big of a deal.

    He is extremely cute, I will post a pic of us sometime. I wish that he wasn't though. Because every single guy that likes guys, likes him. I hate it. I really like him and I wouldn't care what he looked like. This might sounds strange, but I'm not really into having sex that much... I mean it's fun but I want to be with him forever, I could do w/o the sex easily if I could just spend my life with him.

    Anyways, I told him that I had a crush on him a few months ago and he did the "That is hard for me to answer, I know that you are important to me." So about a month later he asked if I still like him and I said "I don't know." Then I said the same day that I do, I just don't know if I want to be in a relationship right now... it's getting towards the end of the semester and being with someone over a 4 month break w/o seeing them would be hard, i think, early into a relationship.

    So I asked if he like me again... and he said that I give off too many vibes.

    A few months go by...

    He says that he thinks just wants to be friends (don't stop reading). I say that's fine. and he asked if I was sure and I said yes. (You can't force someone to like you, so why would it not be ok?)

    Well a few weeks go by and he asks my permission to date some guy... and I just was like, whatever, do what you want. I didn't sound unsupportive though. He didn't go on the date. Then the "I love you" text messages start.

    Then he started putting his head on my shoulder all the time... telling me that he loves spending time with me.

    Then I just told him that I can't stand it anymore. He knows that I like him, and he needs to quit leading me on. I need some space from him! He didn't respond well and was all mad about me wanting to spend less time with him. He talks me into not going with my decision and actually spending more time with him... ahh!

    That night he tells me that he loves me again... and sends me a love song by a german band. The lyrics are all about how the girl is in love with this guy and how they are one, together. How her heart flutters for him... etc.

    This continues for a few more weeks.. then he just brings up some guy that he might want to go on a date with and wonders why I turn emo... then I told him that I loved him again along with other big news, irrelivent. He just has ignored my messages about liking him, and only concentrates on the other topic. I also have told him that I perceive him leaning on my as a sign that he likes me. I mean... it's fine if you do it to your friends.. but not to someone that you know likes you, unless you feel the same right?? Well I told him that.. and he still does it... AHH

    gahh.. there is so much I'm leaving out. these are the main points. Ask questions, I will answer. I need help. How can I tell if he likes me? I feel like i have asked him way too much! Everytime, different answers.. gahh

    I mean I don't think that I'm unattractive... idk just let me know if I'm ugly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 25, 2008 6:45 PM GMT
    I am frankly puzzled why you did not take advantage of the opening when he said "I love you." If you have strong feelings for him, the other potential roadblocks you mentioned should be solvable. I can understand why he is getting mixed messages, I would be as well in his situation.

    You need to have a good talk with yourself. What do you really want right now in your life? Do you want a bf, and if so does this guy fit the bill?

    I hate to break it to you, but guys that you feel close to don't always pop up in life when you want them. I went over 8 years being single, and I was looking nearly the whole time! As well I lived in a city with a large gay population. I just did not meet anybody I really clicked with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2008 1:05 PM GMT
    Methinks you are both confusing each other. LOL

    You need to TALK to him. Really TALK to him about how you feel. As in an 'Is it just friends or can we be boyfriends' kind of talk.

    He said 'I Love You'. In what way. And as jbedwards said, why didn't you take it as an opening? Especially the second time.

    When he sent those I love you messages. How did you respond?

    I take it, he IS gay and single. Whether he's cute or not doesn't matter.

    People grow on you. The first time you asked him, he probably wasn't sure.

    What you've been basically doing is putting the impression that you're attracted to him but don't want to be. Probably why he's still trying to date people in the hopes of probably transferring those feelings (that he perceive as hopeless) from you.

    Make your move NOW.

    Good luck.

    DISCLAIMER: The above advice comes from a 22-year old virgin who's never had relationship before in his entire sad life. ;)