Asking a waiter out

  • danielvn

    Posts: 222

    Jul 19, 2011 9:05 PM GMT
    I went to the Blue Restaurant in the Castro yesterday and met a really cute/hot/nice waiter there. I think I actually fell for him. What should I do to ask him out? Any advice? Thanks! icon_biggrin.gif
    *****************************

    Update : Went back to that place (Well, I did call that place in advance to check if they closed at 10pm and that guy picked up the fone, i recognized his voice and he told me his name) So I sat there for 2 hours (!!!! - & ordered a big ass meatloaf PLUS a salmon filet - gosh... ended up tipping him $15) trying to chat him up a bit, just getting to know him (finally got his age, his schedule and stuff like that) talked a bit about the food (yesterday and today) then I grabbed all my courage to ask him out for a drink (while he was nicely asking me to leave since it was already 11pm lol) and this is what he said "I really appreciate that but I have 2 jobs tomorrow and I have to walk home- you know cab is expensive and Bart takes too long...so I'm sorry). I said "It's ok. Thank you" then he asked "How long are you gonna stay here?" - me "I think I'll stick around until 1 or 2" - him "hope you'll find something fun out there tonight". Then I went to a Coffee shop across the street, asked the cute waiter I laid my eyes on last night and got turned down ...again. icon_razz.gif I think I should just stay single for now (sigh)
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    Jul 19, 2011 9:06 PM GMT
    danielvn saidI went to the Blue Restaurant in the Castro yesterday and met a really cute/hot/nice waiter there. I think I actually fell for him. What should I do to ask him out? Any advice? Thanks! icon_biggrin.gif


    Waiters arent people, move on.

    This is what my friend did. He wrote on the back of the reciept "You know, Im kind of a big deal. (his name here) (his number here)."

    He didnt get a call back, but it might work...?
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    Jul 19, 2011 9:49 PM GMT
    Chat him up while he's working if he's serving you again! Servers are always down to talk, assuming they're not running they're asses off.

    What chainers suggested isn't a bad idea either. I'm a server and I'd wouldn't completely write off a guy if he left his number on the back of the receipt.
    Make sure he sees it though. Tables get cleaned off in seconds sometimes!
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    Jul 19, 2011 9:50 PM GMT
    DTP_82 saidChat him up while he's working if he's serving you again! Servers are always down to talk, assuming they're not running they're asses off.

    What chainers suggested isn't a bad idea either. I'm a server and I'd wouldn't completely write off a guy if he left his number on the back of the receipt.
    Make sure he sees it though. Tables get cleaned off in seconds sometimes!


    Even if he said "You know, Im kind of a big deal" with giving the number?
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    Jul 19, 2011 9:53 PM GMT
    lmao
    Not the "I'm kind of a big deal part". Receipt would end up in the trash.

    A simple name and number.
    And maybe a nice tip.
  • danielvn

    Posts: 222

    Jul 19, 2011 10:01 PM GMT
    You know what, I'll write my number on a napkin and put it on top of the check with a big tip. There's no way he'll miss it. But yea I guess I need to get to know him first before actually asking him out icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 19, 2011 10:03 PM GMT
    danielvn saidYou know what, I'll write my number on a napkin and put it on top of the check with a big tip. There's no way he'll miss it. But yea I guess I need to get to know him first before actually asking him out icon_razz.gif


    Thats the point of asking him out, to get to know him...
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    Jul 19, 2011 10:11 PM GMT
    Leave a hundred dollar bill as a tip.

    Works every time.
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    Jul 20, 2011 12:30 AM GMT
    Well, I just make sure he knows I'm interested in him... then when it's time to settle the bill, I leave my number in the check. If he calls, well you know...
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    Jul 20, 2011 12:59 AM GMT
    Working in a restaurant and seeing a number left in a check book may be flattering the first couple of times, but it gets old, and happens a lot more than not...

    Go back to the restaurant, or call, and ask the host/hostess if (name) is currently working. If so, ask if they have a moment, and just tell them in person. The confidence to show up in person and ask is much more flattering than find a random number in a check book.
  • austex85

    Posts: 572

    Jul 20, 2011 1:01 AM GMT
    keep in mind also that him being nice might not necessarily be flirting. after all, he is being paid to be nice to everybody.
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    Jul 20, 2011 1:06 AM GMT
    austex85 saidkeep in mind also that him being nice might not necessarily be flirting. after all, he is being paid to be nice to everybody.


    My thoughts exactly.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Jul 20, 2011 1:07 AM GMT
    KRWright13 saidWorking in a restaurant and seeing a number left in a check book may be flattering the first couple of times, but it gets old, and happens a lot more than not...

    Go back to the restaurant, or call, and ask the host/hostess if (name) is currently working. If so, ask if they have a moment, and just tell them in person. The confidence to show up in person and ask is much more flattering than find a random number in a check book.


    Agreed.. Working at a bar I can't really say it gets old, I always find it flattering but I've never actually responded to a number left on a check. (One... I almost never know who it's from, two... it's always been girls that have left the numbers haha. Never had a guy do it.)
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    Jul 20, 2011 1:10 AM GMT
    Ask him if he has a girlfriend.

    If he says no, ask him if he likes boys.

    If he says yes, then ask him if he likes movies.

    If he says yes, then ask him if he wants you to sit next to him during the movies.

    If he says yes, then ask him if he wants his cock sucked after the movies...icon_twisted.gif

    Boys are real easy.
  • danielvn

    Posts: 222

    Jul 20, 2011 1:12 AM GMT
    Oh well, I know that it's a waiter's job to be nice to customers so him being nice to me does not mean that he's interested in me. I know that! That's why I wrote "I think I actually fell for him" -- so it's just me trying to ask him out icon_biggrin.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jul 20, 2011 3:51 AM GMT
    Dude...waiters are nice for a reason and that reason is TIPS.....Don't read too much into his niceness...If you feel it was more than that...grow a pair...go back to that restaurant and ask him...If he declines...move on....BUD
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    Jul 20, 2011 3:58 AM GMT
    stalk him on facebook. find out where he lives/works out/shops/goes to school and then "bump" into him. then say "oh hai!!"
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    Jul 20, 2011 4:01 AM GMT
    horned_frog saidstalk him on facebook. find out where he lives/works out/shops/goes to school and then "bump" into him. then say "oh hai!!"


    this
  • postyork

    Posts: 127

    Jul 20, 2011 4:01 AM GMT
    awkward on all counts. Not sure I'd go with the "go back and ask him in person" - this can be really awkward, and also can be pretty un-kosher to do in someone's workplace. Other staff/managers/etc. could be watching, and it could have a negative effect on his relationships with coworkers.

    Just a thought.
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    Jul 20, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    I have tried everything to get their attention and my advice is just let it go. If you get their attention odds are they are either (a) crazy, (b) an aspiring actor/singer/songwriter, or (c) both, which makes them so intolerable that if you have a cyanide pill on you, you have likely used it five minutes in.

    Waiter is not a stable, career professional sort of person. As such they always think they can do better and never want a relationship to develop since they are just looking for someone to bang them like a steel drum in the ladies' restroom and they will move on.

    Food service != put a ring on it.
    Don't even put a greasy onion ring on it a la Homer and Marge Simpson.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Jul 20, 2011 4:13 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidI have tried everything to get their attention and my advice is just let it go. If you get their attention odds are they are either (a) crazy, (b) an aspiring actor/singer/songwriter, or (c) both, which makes them so intolerable that if you have a cyanide pill on you, you have likely used it five minutes in.

    Waiter is not a stable, career professional sort of person. As such they always think they can do better and never want a relationship to develop since they are just looking for someone to bang them like a steel drum in the ladies' restroom and they will move on.

    Food service != put a ring on it.
    Don't even put a greasy onion ring on it a la Homer and Marge Simpson.


    Broad and ridiculous assumption, don't be bitter at a group just because you couldn't get someones attention. Not all people in the service industry are the same just like not all people in finance are the same. At 21 I'm making more money in this industry than I could anywhere else.
  • Ezrider107

    Posts: 13

    Jul 20, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    @ DrobUA

    I agree, i have a great friend who is a waiter and he's sweet / lovely in and out of his job and not just for the tips.

    Since you work in the service industry.....
    how should the OP (or any gay guy) approach this problem?


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    Jul 20, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    Write, "Would love to hang out sometime..." along with your email address on the back of the receipt and leave the check where your plate was on the table.
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    Jul 20, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    This happens to me all the time. Something about a man serving me food turns me on. Either that or they hire really hot guys at Ruby Tuesday's. Heh heh.

    A friend wrote my number on the bill once, I don't know if I'd do that myself though. This is a good, and serious, question Danielyn.
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    Jul 20, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    DrobUA said
    KRWright13 saidWorking in a restaurant and seeing a number left in a check book may be flattering the first couple of times, but it gets old, and happens a lot more than not...

    Go back to the restaurant, or call, and ask the host/hostess if (name) is currently working. If so, ask if they have a moment, and just tell them in person. The confidence to show up in person and ask is much more flattering than find a random number in a check book.


    Agreed.. Working at a bar I can't really say it gets old, I always find it flattering but I've never actually responded to a number left on a check. (One... I almost never know who it's from, two... it's always been girls that have left the numbers haha. Never had a guy do it.)


    At a restaurant? Thats weird lol Ive worked in restaurants and nobodys every left me their numbers lol...

    I can see at a bar...but "more often than not"? lol come on man