All Things Forgiven....?

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 20, 2011 11:47 AM GMT
    When you are truly in love.....all things can be forgiven.....right? gay-copain.gif
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    Jul 20, 2011 11:56 AM GMT
    Depends - has he killed your parents? That could be a deal-breaker.
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    Jul 20, 2011 11:59 AM GMT
    Pure saidDepends - has he killed your parents? That could be a deal-breaker.


    Also wouldn't forgive waking up in a bath of ice and a note saying I have 30 minutes to make it to a hospital.

    In all seriousness though, even if I were in love, I wouldn't be able to forgive everything; something like cheating for example.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 20, 2011 12:23 PM GMT
    Pure saidDepends - has he killed your parents? That could be a deal-breaker.



    Interesting question....icon_confused.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 20, 2011 12:23 PM GMT
    killer_pj said
    Pure saidDepends - has he killed your parents? That could be a deal-breaker.


    Also wouldn't forgive waking up in a bath of ice and a note saying I have 30 minutes to make it to a hospital.

    In all seriousness though, even if I were in love, I wouldn't be able to forgive everything; something like cheating for example.



    But, what if the cheating was only temporary? icon_wink.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 20, 2011 12:26 PM GMT
    Now.. you know most can be forgiven, but not "all"
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    Jul 20, 2011 12:26 PM GMT
    malefeet said
    killer_pj said
    Pure saidDepends - has he killed your parents? That could be a deal-breaker.


    Also wouldn't forgive waking up in a bath of ice and a note saying I have 30 minutes to make it to a hospital.

    In all seriousness though, even if I were in love, I wouldn't be able to forgive everything; something like cheating for example.



    But, what if the cheating was only temporary? icon_wink.gif


    Personally if it were only temporary it wouldn't make a difference, it'd still be a deal breaker.

    If you were "truly in love" you'd hope the other person to be as well so there should be no need to cheat.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 20, 2011 12:27 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidNow.. you know most can be forgiven, but not "all"


    Hmmm...Thanks Handsome....(oops)..I mean HndsmKansan...icon_redface.gif
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    Jul 20, 2011 12:34 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidNow.. you know most can be forgiven, but not "all"

    Agreed, and so many variables here, mostly involving personality issues we can't evaluate online here. We now know this apparently involved cheating.

    How much cheating? Was he seduced while drunk, or is he a gay Lothario, and this only the tip of the iceberg, far from temporary? Will his lust continue to overrule his love for malefeet?

    Say rather, when you are truly in love, all things can be considered. And forgiveness is one of them, but there are other options, too.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 20, 2011 12:34 PM GMT
    killer_pj said

    Personally if it were only temporary it wouldn't make a difference, it'd still be a deal breaker.

    If you were "truly in love" you'd hope the other person to be as well so there should be no need to cheat.


    But, there are "moments of weakness" aren't there...? icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 20, 2011 12:35 PM GMT
    Forgive, never forget.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jul 20, 2011 12:36 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    HndsmKansan saidNow.. you know most can be forgiven, but not "all"

    Agreed, and so many variables here, mostly involving personality issues we can't evaluate online here. We now know this apparently involved cheating.

    How much cheating? Was he seduced while drunk, or is he a gay Lothario, and this only the tip of the iceberg, far from temporary? Will his lust continue to overrule his love for malefeet?

    Say rather, when you are truly in love, all things can be considered. And forgiveness is one of them, but there are other options, too.


    Wow...you bring some interesting points....have you actually known anyone you might consider a Lothario..? icon_confused.gif
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    Jul 20, 2011 12:39 PM GMT
    malefeet said
    killer_pj said

    Personally if it were only temporary it wouldn't make a difference, it'd still be a deal breaker.

    If you were "truly in love" you'd hope the other person to be as well so there should be no need to cheat.


    But, there are "moments of weakness" aren't there...? icon_wink.gif


    Yes there are, we are after all only human, but if tempted once what's to stop it from happening again?

    I'm sure there are plenty of couples who can forgive and move on with such things but for me it's a deal breaker.
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    Jul 20, 2011 12:40 PM GMT
    malefeet saidWow...you bring some interesting points....have you actually known anyone you might consider a Lothario..? icon_confused.gif

    Please, far too many. Including a couple of guys I otherwise considered BF material. But they simply couldn't be happy with one man for long, not with me, not with anyone. The crucial question is, what kind of guy do YOU have? Only you can answer that.
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    Jul 20, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    Nope.
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    Jul 20, 2011 1:52 PM GMT
    malefeet saidBut, what if the cheating was only temporary? icon_wink.gif


    It could very well be temporary. I think the bigger variable would be, did he come clean to you, or did you find out otherwise? Did he come clean right off the bat, right after it happened, or did he wait a while to tell you? (This is assuming he was the one that would be cheating, rather than you, since we don't know what the case happens to be.)

    If the person I was with came to me and said "There was this really hot guy I met this afternoon, and rather than asking you, I decided to fuck him immediately," then I would consider it being a-okay in my book. I mean, he didn't lie about it, he came and told me what happened immediately, and at least had the decency to know that it is something I would want to know and be able to make my own decisions about. However, if I found out otherwise, then he has just broken my trust, and that's damn near impossible to win back.
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    Jul 20, 2011 5:57 PM GMT
    killer_pj said
    Pure saidDepends - has he killed your parents? That could be a deal-breaker.


    Also wouldn't forgive waking up in a bath of ice and a note saying I have 30 minutes to make it to a hospital.

    In all seriousness though, even if I were in love, I wouldn't be able to forgive everything; something like cheating for example.


    We have the same opinion on cheating. Temporary or not, cheating is cheating. It's done for. There are zero exceptions for me.
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    Jul 20, 2011 6:40 PM GMT
    malefeet saidWhen you are truly in love.....all things can be forgiven.....right? gay-copain.gif
    It depends on how hot he is,.
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    Jul 20, 2011 6:48 PM GMT
    Most can be forgiven, but not all.

    Cheating is never forgivable and neither is physical abuse.
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    Jul 20, 2011 7:15 PM GMT
    I can forgive most even without love. I'm not one of those poofs who hold a grudge over the smallest of things for a very long time, thats just to girly for me.
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    Jul 20, 2011 7:21 PM GMT
    THAT is a tough one that I too am struggling with myself.

    As of Sept. it will be a year since my partner of 10 years dumped me for God and tried celibacy to gain eternal salvation. This was followed by a re-awakening/revitalization of his gay identity 6 months later via a sex fling at Mardi Gras. (We're stuck living together till Nov.)

    Recently we have begun intermittently sleeping together even though we have both been with other men. (I'm tested and safe so I'm fine with that.)

    The reality of the situation is, while I understand the Gay vs. God struggle, his actions were unacceptable and I do not forgive him for what he did to me throughout the break-up or how much he hurt me. I do not think I want him back but sleeping together again has my mind reeling. icon_confused.gif

    It is stupid and confusing and I need to stop it now. This I know, but it's hard not to with him being such an easy, convenient choice for solving any sexual frustration I may have instead or sleeping around. icon_confused.gif

    It has prompted my wondering the same thing though...Do I forgive him one last time and restore a 10 relationship or say FKIT and start over. I will always love him but I don't think I'm IN LOVE with him anymore. Pretty sure he smothered that flame. icon_question.gificon_rolleyes.gif

    I think you’re going to have to decide how you feel about him, the situation and inevitably in the end what is the right choice for you. icon_wink.gif
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Jul 21, 2011 12:01 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI strive to forgive any and all bullshit that I endure from people. But that does not mean that I will ever trust them again. Forgiving someone else is more for me and to move forward.

    I don't believe that forgiving someone is about going back to the way things were. That is just dumb. Depending on the severity of a the situation, I may simply move on. Such as is the case with trust. If someone betrays my trust, s/he will not get a second chance to do it again.


    This. So much of this! In fact, this was what doomed one of my relationships. We'd have a big fight, we would talk about it, and then instead of working on our issues as we discussed, he was all ready to act as if our relationship was perfect and nothing had happened.This drove me nuts, especially since he'd keep doing the same shit over and over sparking the same fights. Anyways, I think I said it before in another thread but I'm all about second chances as long as they are EARNED and not just GIVEN.
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    Jul 21, 2011 12:07 AM GMT
    I would say "if you truly love someone, you are able to forgive all things in time". Being truly "in love" is different, in my opinion.
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    Jul 21, 2011 12:16 AM GMT
    Not cheating. If you are truly in love with someone, and they cheat, and then you find out about it, it rips you to shreds. Don't wish it to anyone.
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    Jul 21, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    I can forgive everything up to the point where they break my trust. Unfortunately for them after that, it's pretty much it.

    But I'll forgive them even then, I just wont ever trust them again.