Those dropped conversations...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    I'm sure there was already a thread on this some ages ago, but since I can't find.

    So...you see somebody you find interesting (or better yet, they find you), attempt to message them. They are nice, and talk back to you............for like a total of 3 times, and then the last message you sent is never replied, and you are left wondering what the hell you did wrong.

    Opinions....?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 1:59 PM GMT
    It was actually just an hour ago, and had a similar title.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1692977
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 2:05 PM GMT
    He's just not that into you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 2:07 PM GMT
    usually for me it's because I feel like I'm having to carry the conversation and well, if I have to carry it I wont bother.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2011 5:55 PM GMT
    What's weirder is being approached by someone on a website, responding to their message, then them never responding again.

    Maybe they have ADD?
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    Jul 20, 2011 6:45 PM GMT
    Gaydar saidWhat's weirder is being approached by someone on a website, responding to their message, then them never responding again.

    Maybe they have ADD?
    GayDD
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=GayDD
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    Jul 21, 2011 8:11 AM GMT
    Gaydar saidWhat's weirder is being approached by someone on a website, responding to their message, then them never responding again.

    Maybe they have ADD?


    Had that happen too a few times. I guess they talk to you and regretted it ever since...
    So.Many.Possibilities.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2011 8:12 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Gaydar saidWhat's weirder is being approached by someone on a website, responding to their message, then them never responding again.

    Maybe they have ADD?
    GayDD
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=GayDD


    Hahaha, that actually made me laugh out loud. Urbandictionary does have everything.
  • Spiritreaver

    Posts: 2086

    Jul 21, 2011 8:47 AM GMT
    These threads make me feel like a shitty person.

    Don't let it get to you, just find someone else to speak with. There are plenty of guys on here who are nice enough, and willing to hold meaningful conversations with you or anyone. Just please keep in mind that everyone here is a human, things come up, people get distracted, or sadly uninterested. That's not really a good excuse at all, but don't let people disappearing get to you.

    There's far too many people on here, or in this world, for you to get worked up over one person.

    And above all else, don't message them asking why they did not respond. It can only make things bad. Just move on and make a new/better friend.
  • austex85

    Posts: 572

    Jul 21, 2011 8:58 AM GMT
    some people reply to be nice, but it's clear they're really not inviting more conversation. however, the person who got the response is too thrilled to get a response to even realize this. ultimately, after 2-3 messages, it's time to ignore since they're never going to get it.

    do your messages look something like this?

    you: hi, how are you?
    them: good
    you: what's going on?
    them: not much
    you: so...i think you're cute
    them: *shakes head*

    ultimately, this goes to the age-old debate, is it better to ignore messages outright or to at least be courteous if someone is claiming to be just looking for friends. if you're courteous and respond, though, you run the risk of the other person thinking you're *into* them (as the OP here)
  • Spiritreaver

    Posts: 2086

    Jul 21, 2011 9:02 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Spiritreaver saidThese threads make me feel like a shitty person.
    Out of curiosity... Why does it make you feel like a shitty person? I remember that we actually carried on a conversation for quite a few messages.
    You'd be surprised, but my first few months here I didn't take this place very seriously and didn't respond to messages as frequently as I try to now.

    Pretty much every day I run into someone who dislikes me because I don't respond/vanish/take too long or seem uninterested. Bugs the heck out of me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2011 9:48 AM GMT
    Well, it is difficult to carry on a conversation when you have nothing to talk about, or when you know nothing about the person. This is why it helps to read their profile, or pay attention to what they have previously said on the forum. But that actually means that you were interested in the person to take your time and energy to do that.

    It also depends on the media of communication. If it is through RJ mail, I think it's fine to just hold off the mail exchange rate, so you don't run out of stuff to talk about too quickly. If it is through chat and they don't respond....not good, because that means they're not interested, or they are just fucking rude, or both.
  • brendanmuscle...

    Posts: 593

    Jul 21, 2011 9:59 AM GMT
    i think when someone drops a conversation with me, (especially if i messaged them first) it clearly means that they are not interested. if i say like "hey, hows it going? really hot pics" and they are just like "thank you" i do not bother trying to send another message... its pretty clear to me that the thank you is ending the conversation (unless they say something else after that)

    i just say this because i know myself, if someone messages me and im not really interested, i will do the same thing and be like "thanks". Usually though people continue to send messages, in which case i wont respond. But if i am interested and they are like " nice pics, how are you?" i will respond to the second part and ask them how they are doing as well instead of the simple "thank you." and probably tell them i'm attracted to them as well.

  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2603

    Jul 21, 2011 11:16 AM GMT
    I recently was contacted by two guys who seemed interested.We had several telephone conversations,were getting on well, and then.....silence.I think they changed their minds en route(one guy was quite a distance off-I don`t think he realized how far!)It would have been polite to have let me know this(that`s what I would have done for them),but it`s not the worst thing that can happen.You forget about it and move on.There`s plenty more guys out there who do want to talk/meet,etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2011 11:33 AM GMT
    If I stop responding, I tend to have intentions of replying...but forgetting to do so
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    Jul 21, 2011 12:24 PM GMT
    vla8 saidIf I stop responding, I tend to have intentions of replying...but forgetting to do so


    Ya, same here. I just forget about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    Sometimes I don't reply because honestly I have no idea what to say. Can get some random messages.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2011 12:46 PM GMT
    Bothers me When Im not the first one to talk, and all of the sudden I have to carry the conversation (YOU SHOWED INTEREST FIRST!) but in general I just move on, Its not like You are dating the guy, you are just talking
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    Spiritreaver saidThese threads make me feel like a shitty person.

    Don't let it get to you, just find someone else to speak with. There are plenty of guys on here who are nice enough, and willing to hold meaningful conversations with you or anyone. Just please keep in mind that everyone here is a human, things come up, people get distracted, or sadly uninterested. That's not really a good excuse at all, but don't let people disappearing get to you.

    There's far too many people on here, or in this world, for you to get worked up over one person.

    And above all else, don't message them asking why they did not respond. It can only make things bad. Just move on and make a new/better friend.


    Oh you are right. I'm not actually upset over it and I hope it didn't come across that way. I'm just curious more than anything else. But definitely, there are a lot of nice guys here who are courteous enough to respond.
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    Jul 21, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    austex85 saidsome people reply to be nice, but it's clear they're really not inviting more conversation. however, the person who got the response is too thrilled to get a response to even realize this. ultimately, after 2-3 messages, it's time to ignore since they're never going to get it.

    do your messages look something like this?

    you: hi, how are you?
    them: good
    you: what's going on?
    them: not much
    you: so...i think you're cute
    them: *shakes head*

    ultimately, this goes to the age-old debate, is it better to ignore messages outright or to at least be courteous if someone is claiming to be just looking for friends. if you're courteous and respond, though, you run the risk of the other person thinking you're *into* them (as the OP here)


    Hahaha, I try to avoid conversations like that. Besides, I think that's what the hotlist is for. If I simply thought a guy was good looking, I would just do 1 click and add them to that list.
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    Jul 21, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    S60turbo said
    vla8 saidIf I stop responding, I tend to have intentions of replying...but forgetting to do so


    Ya, same here. I just forget about it.


    Yea that is definitely one possibility, though it's somewhat a shame to lost a meaningful conversation that way, but it's still a pretty valid reason, yes.
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    Jul 21, 2011 4:25 PM GMT
    i had a guy hotlist me the other night then i said thanx, like i always do, then he immediately un-hotlisted me! I was totally baffled, was it somethin i said hahaha
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    Jul 21, 2011 4:41 PM GMT
    Johnnyhotsauce saidi had a guy hotlist me the other night then i said thanx, like i always do, then he immediately un-hotlisted me! I was totally baffled, was it somethin i said hahaha


    Tsk tsk, you know how rude it is to say "Thanks".
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    Jul 21, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    it kina gave me a complex for about 20 minutes icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2011 8:47 PM GMT
    Maybe it was anger at not being hotlisted in return. BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LIKE THEM BACK ITS THE RULES.

    I think it's fair to stop a convo if the last message left nothing to be responded to. I mean it has to end somewhere.

    When I get messages anywhere, I respond to them all. But if it just goes down a drab path with small talk, I feel like we're both not going to get any meaningful interaction out of it and I look to not fuel it and shut it down.