Is it all about how you look?

  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Jul 21, 2011 12:39 AM GMT
    It just hit me, everyone and everything is about how you look.
    For instance this up coming weekend there is this great event coming up in our village. I am a waiter and I'm good at what I do. I have 3 years experience and my bosses said they are happy to have me plenty of times. But this weekend with the event coming up, I'm not standing behind any of the 3 bars that are up. No, just like last year and the year before that I have to make sure all the bars have enough beer and stuff like that. Basically I am a runnerboy then. I might be thinking about this too much but in my eyes I get this function for this weekend because they want pretty people behind the bars or something. I just feel like the little quasimodo ogre that walks around making sure the bar people are ok..
    But then again there are 2 people that are hired just for this weekend to stand behind the bar and they are both kinda ugly.. Saying this makes me feel kindof a hypocrit but ok.. I dunno I just needed to spill my guts I think.. (thats how you say it in English right?)

    I just think that lots of things in at least bars, dating, work overall really are based on looks far more than one would think.. On the one hand this is kind of frustrating but at the other hand I can also understand it and I also catch myself being more friendly to a handsome guy whos having dinner than to the fat woman for instance...

    me so emo icon_sad.gif
    I guess I am just a little insecure about the way I look, but then again.. who isnt..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 12:43 AM GMT
    It's not all about how you look, but it is a lot about how you look.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 12:47 AM GMT
    It's not ALL about how you look. I'm sure there's more to life than being really, really ridiculously good-looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

    Have you thought that the ugly bartenders were hired as a test for how drunk the customers are? When people start hitting on the ugly bartenders they've had too much to drink and will be cut off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 1:03 AM GMT
    No matter what others say, preach, or try to FORCE down your throat trying to persuade you that looks do not matter in the Gay world, face one eternal fact : Gay life is ALL about the surface, the image, the exterior, the immediate sensation. All the things that matter to Gay men are things which please the roving, hunger eye. Health insurance, cars, HIV therapies, vacation packages, shoes, liquor, protein shakes, candy bars, socks, cigarettes, condoms, lube, and even soap are sold to Gay men by using hot, beautiful, young men in the ads, not, unattractive men. In short, It is ALL ABOUT how one looks.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 1:15 AM GMT
    Yes, it's all - or at least mostly - about looks.

    But, you're not a runnerboy, you're a barback. It's a pretty prominent and well paid position in some clubs...still not as high paid as bartenders, but you can live comfortably on it. And yes, looks are just as important for barbacks as they are for bartenders, because they also interact with the horny customers like me. icon_biggrin.gif
  • John6311

    Posts: 165

    Jul 21, 2011 1:33 AM GMT
    Yes it is so get motivated to make yourself look better. In the end - you'll be happier and healthier.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    John6311 saidYes it is so get motivated to make yourself look better. In the end - you'll be happier and healthier.


    not necessarily
  • austex85

    Posts: 572

    Jul 21, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    John6311 saidYes it is so get motivated to make yourself look better. In the end - you'll be happier and healthier.


    there's only so much one can do regarding looks.

    perfect body + ugly face = ugly

    bad body + ugly face = ugly

    same difference

    *not talking about the OP, btw
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 1:56 AM GMT
    we're our own worst critics icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 1:57 AM GMT

    I would like to think that it's because they know they can count on you to get the job done right.
    But, for my own curiosity, I would be blunt and come right out and ask who ever makes the decisions about who's tending bar, why couldn't YOU do it.
    If, as you say, the think you do a good job..and that you are a valuable employee...I don't think you have anything to lose by asking. It just might not be for the reason you think it is. BUT, if that is the case, please don't feel badly about it....I, for one, know you are a great guy...and that there is NOTHING wrong with your looks!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 1:58 AM GMT
    Sadly in the gay world it seems to just be about how you look. Try to look your best and just be happy with who you are, if people don't like it then fuck 'em. (Not literally).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    Yea it is but with hours in the gym and right doctor there is always hope
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 2:00 AM GMT
    I think its more about how you carry yourself. If nothing else is going for you then you must have the looks. but I do wonder sometimes how ugly ppl manage to get hot guys sometimes or ugly guy gets the hot girl. Life is a mystery!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 2:00 AM GMT
    austex85 said
    John6311 saidYes it is so get motivated to make yourself look better. In the end - you'll be happier and healthier.


    there's only so much one can do regarding looks.

    perfect body + ugly face = ugly

    bad body + ugly face = ugly

    same difference

    *not talking about the OP, btw


    Have you heard of this little thing called plastic surgery?

    ugly face + plastic surgery = hot face! icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    My motto is looks will get you through the door, personality keeps you in the room.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    No - looks are not EVERYTHING.

    However if you are working in a bar / nightclub atmosphere you are part of the entertainment and it is expected that you look good. How "good" is defined varies wildly from region to region, sometimes from venue to venue. But it is part of the industry. You can't be a model and complain about how everbody keeps judging your looks. THAT is the industry. The trick is not to take it too seriously.

    Be the best you can be. Everbody is beautiful somewhere. If this job makes you feel this badly - move on. It's definitely not worth it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    Some of us have more on our radar screens~
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    this thread hurts
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    Daelin saidIt just hit me, everyone and everything is about how you look.
    For instance this up coming weekend there is this great event coming up in our village. I am a waiter and I'm good at what I do. I have 3 years experience and my bosses said they are happy to have me plenty of times. But this weekend with the event coming up, I'm not standing behind any of the 3 bars that are up. No, just like last year and the year before that I have to make sure all the bars have enough beer and stuff like that. Basically I am a runnerboy then. I might be thinking about this too much but in my eyes I get this function for this weekend because they want pretty people behind the bars or something. I just feel like the little quasimodo ogre that walks around making sure the bar people are ok..
    But then again there are 2 people that are hired just for this weekend to stand behind the bar and they are both kinda ugly.. Saying this makes me feel kindof a hypocrit but ok.. I dunno I just needed to spill my guts I think.. (thats how you say it in English right?)

    I just think that lots of things in at least bars, dating, work overall really are based on looks far more than one would think.. On the one hand this is kind of frustrating but at the other hand I can also understand it and I also catch myself being more friendly to a handsome guy whos having dinner than to the fat woman for instance...

    me so emo icon_sad.gifblockquote>

    LET'S RETURN TO THE SITUATION: Your bosses didn't choose you to bartend during a busy event. You say that you are a good waiter....but are you a good BARTENDER? Are you able to handle hectic(very busy) events?

    I have lots of experience working with the public and I have employed many people to work in service. From my experience, PERSONALITY IS EVERYTHING ! Here's the keys:

    #1. Present Yourself with a Smile and POSITIVE ATTITUDE.

    #2. LISTEN.....to your bosses and to your customers.

    #3. PAY ATTENTION to your surroundings. Especially when you're busy, learn to juggle a lot of details.

    #4. BE HIGH ENERGY!!!!! We all love to be around high energy people.

    As for your looks, DO SOMETHING EVERYDAY to improve your body: Run, Do Push-ups....whatever challenges you. But do these things for yourself AND because your future boyfriend will appreciate your effort too.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 2:26 AM GMT
    Hypnotico saidMy motto is looks will get you through the door, personality keeps you in the room.


    YES, this is what I was getting at !
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jul 21, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    Dude.... We can all change our outwardly looks to an extent...But if you're an asshole...a miserable fuck....behaviors always come back to the surface...Be the best "YOU" and you'll attract those that love and care for you cause you're real..human...and lovable...All the best....BUD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 3:19 AM GMT
    Anthony719 saidNo matter what others say, preach, or try to FORCE down your throat trying to persuade you that looks do not matter in the Gay world, face one eternal fact : Gay life is ALL about the surface, the image, the exterior, the immediate sensation. All the things that matter to Gay men are things which please the roving, hunger eye. Health insurance, cars, HIV therapies, vacation packages, shoes, liquor, protein shakes, candy bars, socks, cigarettes, condoms, lube, and even soap are sold to Gay men by using hot, beautiful, young men in the ads, not, unattractive men. In short, It is ALL ABOUT how one looks.....


    So fucking true. What angers me is how we seem to react to it like dogs when a squirrel is running along the fence. We blame the straights and republicans for our sadness and bullying but you've never seen anything more cruel than the comments gay guys write and say to others who aren't model hot. I have met quite a few guys who stopped going out to gay bars because of how ugly they feel when they are there and these guys are really good looking (and white). One kid actually had a group of young guys bark at him and sing some "ugly" song to him at the bar. The guy was in tears and actually moved to a different city a year later. I won't even comment on how we talk to each other online over looks. Just doesn't quite feel like all the other civil rights movements.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    Depends on the person.

    I just don't care, I accept the criticism but if it is constant...find someone else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 3:35 AM GMT
    yes, in most industries it does.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 21, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    Pretty much, yes.

    You were close - it's "Spray my guts."