The corrupted wish thread

  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jul 04, 2007 11:42 PM GMT
    Ok, so I am 100% ripping this off of a thread I saw on a facebook group...but I don't feel feel bad because they 100% ripped it off of another facebook group, lol.

    Ok, so, I'll start off.

    I wish for Brad Pitt to walk into my office right now naked.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jul 04, 2007 11:44 PM GMT
    now, the second half is that you 'corrupt' the wish above you.

    i.e.

    "But he's got a 2-inch penis and still thinks he's hot shit."


    Then YOU make a wish.

    i.e.

    "I wish that I had a large vault of money to swim in, like Scrooge McDuck from Ducktales."

    so the next poster has to corrupt the money wish, and then make one of their own.

    I hope this flies, because they can get REALLY funny, lol
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    Jul 05, 2007 12:22 AM GMT
    "But the money is the old Italian lire, where 1,000,000 lire is about $1!

    I wish for a six pack, and great definition.
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    Jul 05, 2007 12:31 AM GMT
    But the six pack is Lucky Lager, with a list of its ingredients. And you'd rather not know what's in it.

    ---------

    I wish for a cute house boy to move in for the summer and clean up this mess!
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jul 05, 2007 12:34 AM GMT
    but the cute house boy is secretly a pnp power bottom and leaves a bigger mess the night he leaves than was there when he arrived.

    I wish I could sleep on my textbooks and learn everything through osmosis.
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    Jul 05, 2007 12:40 AM GMT
    But your textbooks were writtn by the Catholic church and so now you hate yourself.

    I wish mario lopez was gay and lived right next door.
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    Jul 05, 2007 1:08 AM GMT
    But he was involved in a long term monogomous relationship with a drag queen who baked you cookies everyday.

    I wish the War in Iraq was over and all of my brother in arms were home safe.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jul 05, 2007 1:35 AM GMT
    But the war goes better than expected and Iraq becomes the new America and they all move to Iraq.


    Fuck, that took some effort.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jul 05, 2007 1:42 AM GMT
    Oh, I wish that I worked in a lab and not in an office.
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    Jul 05, 2007 2:39 AM GMT
    Hehehehhh... But the job involves being a test subject in a gene therapy trial. You develop the body hair of a baboon and extreme flatulence. And... could that be the beginnings of a tail?

    -----

    I wish that someone would show up and install a nice lap pool in my yard by tomorrow!
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    Jul 05, 2007 3:00 AM GMT
    But during construction they find an ancient Indian Burial Ground and your forced to move at your own cost so they can build a museum/casino.

    I wish to have a body like Chizzad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2007 3:08 AM GMT
    But when you get the body, you get arrested for murder.

    I wish I liked the latest project my professor gave me for my research assistantship.
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    Jul 05, 2007 4:14 AM GMT
    You get reassigned to your perfect project, but while working on it you report to a complete homophobic jack!@$, who mocks you, constantly insults you and cuts you off when you try to speak or make a point.

    I wish for Mario Lopez too. He doesn't have to be gay. He can be confused, bi-curious, or straight just looking to get his rocks off...whatever!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2007 4:30 AM GMT
    But then he left you for a one night stand with Zack Morris and a little over the sweater action with Screech.





    I wish for world peace.
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    Jul 05, 2007 5:08 AM GMT
    unfortunately, the genie thought that you said "world peas" and everyone is starting to get a little tired of legume soup every night.
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    Jul 05, 2007 5:09 AM GMT
    or was that "whirled peas?"

    Oh yeah...

    I wish that I didn't have to work in the morning, and could find a hot party tonight.
  • eckilegs

    Posts: 223

    Jul 05, 2007 6:16 AM GMT
    But the "hot party" is actually taking place in a suana where you accidentally get locked in.

    I wish I could get a job working in a Cirque Du Soleil show.
  • eckilegs

    Posts: 223

    Jul 05, 2007 6:18 AM GMT
    Hmm....Guess i should clarify. I already work the audience AT one of their shows, but I want to be able to work as a performer on stage.
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    Jul 05, 2007 6:32 AM GMT
    unfortunately while performing an acrobatic routine, your boyfriend/husband yells he is leaving you for a woman who was formerly a man.

    i wish the pool i swim at was clothing optional.
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    Jul 05, 2007 6:34 AM GMT
    i should finish that one. hold on. he says he's leaving you and you fall of stage and crash into several people.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jul 05, 2007 6:58 AM GMT
    It becomes a clothing optional pool but then you get a reach-around by Bee Arthur.


    (haha, gotta love the Pam Roast)


    I wish I had an iPhone.
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    Jul 05, 2007 7:04 AM GMT
    you get your iphone only to be talking to an ex, and accidentally you send a picture of you and your current boyfriend nearly completely naked to him because of the touch sensitive screen.

    i wish, i was as flexible as a gymnist.
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    Jul 05, 2007 7:15 AM GMT
    You are that flexable and you become a shut in once you discover you can perform autofellitio and you starve to death eating your own spunk.

    I wish the Relious Right would all convert to Wicca.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jul 05, 2007 7:33 AM GMT
    They convert, but then they realize that they actually CAN manipulate energy and actually manage to work possibility in such a way as to steer our reality to one in which everyone is big bird.


    I wish I was sleeping right now.
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    Jul 05, 2007 8:08 AM GMT
    But you ARE sleeping. This is all a dream you can not wake up from, because you are actually in hyper-sleep, and all of this day to day you have been plodding through is a part of your endless sleep cycle.

    I wish that idolatry would come to an end.