Feeling Lonely

  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Jul 22, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    I never thought I would post a topic on this ...But lately I have been feeling so lonely...

    Im kind of trapped in a sense....I'm not completely out...Ive told a couple of friends within the last year or so and they have been supportive and great and it make it easier to deal with being gay...But because I have only told THEM I feel limited..

    Im too scared to put a pic up of myself on here and other websites...So that limits a lot as well...People wont talk to me unless I have a pic up...Its completely understandable.


    Do any of you know where Im coming from? Im in the transitional phase and because of my own insecurities its making it hard for me to meet friends and find love...

    I never would post a topic like this but we are all aloud atleast 1 "woe is me" day Lol.

    Thanks for reading
  • Musicman91

    Posts: 1529

    Jul 22, 2011 2:55 AM GMT
    I feel ya, I am kinda/sorta in the same boat. All my friends know but the only peoplein my family who know are my mom and aunt and they are accepting. It will get better I have great friends and I have a mom and aunt behind me and I am sure the rest oof my family will come around when they find out. It will........................wait for it................................................ get better! And I am sure you'll find an awesome guy and a lot of awesome friends! And you should put a pick up. I look terrible in pictures and even I have one up lol.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Jul 22, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    @Music Man

    -thankyou. Thats great!...Only a few of my best friends know..They have been great. No one in my family knows...Well I think they "know" but are waiting on me....Im just learning a lot about myself and Have so much more to discover.

    Im sick of being so hidden...I wanna be fully out because I think My life would be much happier...Im just scared. Im sure you understand
  • Musicman91

    Posts: 1529

    Jul 22, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    I undersand and it can be scary at first. But if you have some friends behind that is a great way to start. And your family may be shocked at first but they'll come around and love you even more having told them. No need to be afraid of who you are just be who you are and rock it out.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Jul 22, 2011 3:07 AM GMT
    @music man
    -Thanks a lot. My family is pretty awesome,I think they will be cool...a lot of them...maybe not all of them.

    I just am at a point in my life where I would like to meet a guy and have a serious relationship ect ect...and being hidden isnt allowing me to do so. I wanna fall in love before I turn 30 hahaha
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    Jul 22, 2011 3:09 AM GMT
    comical44 saidIm sick of being so hidden...I wanna be fully out because I think My life would be much happier...
    Keep this mindset and it'll make the rest of your transition easier. Also keep in mind: Most people really don't give a fuck about what gender you fuck anymore. The ones who do, are also closeted.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    comical44 saidI never thought I would post a topic on this ...But lately I have been feeling so lonely...

    Im kind of trapped in a sense....I'm not completely out...Ive told a couple of friends within the last year or so and they have been supportive and great and it make it easier to deal with being gay...But because I have only told THEM I feel limited..

    Im too scared to put a pic up of myself on here and other websites...So that limits a lot as well...People wont talk to me unless I have a pic up...Its completely understandable.


    Do any of you know where Im coming from? Im in the transitional phase and because of my own insecurities its making it hard for me to meet friends and find love...

    I never would post a topic like this but we are all aloud atleast 1 "woe is me" day Lol.

    Thanks for reading


    You're going to have to give us a bit more information about yourself if you expect any form of helpful advice. For example, are you working, in school or both? Living alone? What exactly scares you about coming out?

    I myself am in a bad situation with regards to my sexuality, but I'm managing to be less down about it. In the times that I am happy and even in the times that I am greatly stressed out, I think (and deeply hope) that things will get better.

    Life is more than just about sexuality. You need to realise and accept this. You don't HAVE to have a boyfriend nor do you HAVE to talk to and meet a million people. I know exactly know you feel though. It seems as though you're never going to find someone or that you're never going to be happy and comfortable with your life. You actually can be. Try to talk to someone close. Just one is enough. Let your feelings out and breathe. Laugh and be silly. Do things that make you happy (watch your favourite movies or TV shows, play your favourite games, draw, sing, dance, eat yummy food, just try to please yourself). No one else is going to magically make your life better. You'll die one day and after that day you won't be able to think, taste, feel, touch, smell or hear. Make the best out of YOUR life now. Fuck everyone else.

    Start making small changes at first. Try your best to be in good company (this includes being by yourself). Let us know a bit more and maybe we can offer more help. Things may seem to be going horribly, but they can improve. Trust me. If you want to talk just RJ mail me icon_smile.gif
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Jul 22, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    @Paul-Thanks I will try to keep that and work on it.

    @sirdreamalot-I agree with things you have said.

    I live with a sibling.I work.graduated school but will be going back soon.

    The thing is Ive told a couple close friends a year or 2 ago and Ive had so MANY conversations about this topic and my life ect ect...Its all good with them. But I have not made any progress since the last friend I came out to over a year ago. I havnt told any new people (other best friends and family)...its like I stopped after the first couple of friends.

    I just wanna live a honest and content life...and I think another thing that worries me is that its such a small city I live in but another side of me says that they all can go fuck themselves lol
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Jul 22, 2011 3:29 AM GMT
    Also maybe I should talk to someone at my local LGBT center...ive researched it and they're people there I can talk to. See...im just nervous of someone I know seeing me walk in...
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    Jul 22, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    comical44 saidAlso maybe I should talk to someone at my local LGBT center...ive researched it and they're people there I can talk to. See...im just nervous of someone I know seeing me walk in...


    If you're nervous about being seen at the centre, could you possibly phone or email them and see if you first meet someone for coffee or lunch elsewhere and see where things can go from there?
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Jul 22, 2011 3:39 AM GMT
    Thats a good idea..Maybe they will be able to do that. it would be less stressful at first. Thankyou
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    Jul 22, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    comical44 said@Paul-Thanks I will try to keep that and work on it.

    @sirdreamalot-I agree with things you have said.

    I live with a sibling.I work.graduated school but will be going back soon.

    The thing is Ive told a couple close friends a year or 2 ago and Ive had so MANY conversations about this topic and my life ect ect...Its all good with them. But I have not made any progress since the last friend I came out to over a year ago. I havnt told any new people (other best friends and family)...its like I stopped after the first couple of friends.

    I just wanna live a honest and content life...and I think another thing that worries me is that its such a small city I live in but another side of me says that they all can go fuck themselves lol


    Announcing to people that you're gay isn't a requirement for being gay. The next step is to start immersing yourself around more people who are lovely and accepting. You don't have to wear an "I'm a fag" sign around them either. Just be yourself. You're already doing that here on RJ. Do you intend to ever tell your family? I might have to tell my entire family to go fuck themselves and I think that I am okay with that. I'm not going to live in a small city either. At present, I have to deal with homophobes every day and my permanent home is in a country where I can be easily abused and jailed for life. I currently have NO way of moving permanently to another country but I've been trying to ignore this not-so-little aspect of my future for now lol. The best thing that works for me is to constantly remind myself that I want a better life and that I will work my way to get this. If that fails, I'll try to help others around me to be happy. Less than 5 people at my college know that I am gay but I intend to let more know next year.

    When I first started to accept my sexuality, I was under the impression that I will eventually have to live a "gay" life. Now, what the fuck is a gay life? I cannot answer that question. The only accurate thing I can add is that I'll be humping plump male rumps and sucking dick. There is no "gay" way to live your life, really. Stupid society makes it seem like being gay is ALL there is to someone's life. RJ should be enough evidence to disprove this silly stereotype.

    So yeah, maybe coming out to family might make you more comfortable. I really hope that this is an option for you icon_smile.gif
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Jul 22, 2011 3:46 AM GMT
    SirDreamALot said
    comical44 said@Paul-Thanks I will try to keep that and work on it.

    @sirdreamalot-I agree with things you have said.

    I live with a sibling.I work.graduated school but will be going back soon.

    The thing is Ive told a couple close friends a year or 2 ago and Ive had so MANY conversations about this topic and my life ect ect...Its all good with them. But I have not made any progress since the last friend I came out to over a year ago. I havnt told any new people (other best friends and family)...its like I stopped after the first couple of friends.

    I just wanna live a honest and content life...and I think another thing that worries me is that its such a small city I live in but another side of me says that they all can go fuck themselves lol


    Announcing to people that you're gay isn't a requirement for being gay. The next step is to start immersing yourself around more people who are lovely and accepting. You don't have to wear an "I'm a fag" sign around them either. Just be yourself. You're already doing that here on RJ. Do you intend to ever tell your family? I might have to tell my entire family to go fuck themselves and I think that I am okay with that. I'm not going to live in a small city either. At present, I have to deal with homophobes every day and my permanent home is in a country where I can be easily abused and jailed for life. I currently have NO way of moving permanently to another country but I've been trying to ignore this not-so-little aspect of my future for now lol. The best thing that works for me is to constantly remind myself that I want a better life and that I will work my way to get this. If that fails, I'll try to help others around me to be happy. Less than 5 people at my college know that I am gay but I intend to let more know next year.

    When I first started to accept my sexuality, I was under the impression that I will eventually have to live a "gay" life. Now, what the fuck is a gay life? I cannot answer that question. The only accurate thing I can add is that I'll be humping plump male rumps and sucking dick. There is no "gay" way to live your life, really. Stupid society makes it seem like being gay is ALL there is to someone's life. RJ should be enough evidence to disprove this silly stereotype.

    So yeah, maybe coming out to family might make you more comfortable. I really hope that this is an option for you icon_smile.gif



    I agree I dont feel the need to announce it...But i need to learn how to act on in and be myself and live an honest sexuality and life ya know. We both have a lot of things to live through and learn.

    I dont believe their is a "gay life"....that is just a stereotype....
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    Jul 22, 2011 4:16 AM GMT


    Hey comical44, we're around a fair bit. Feel free to message us if you like.

    signed -OLD gay people

    icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 22, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    Yeah, I know what you mean about putting a picture up. Sometimes I get really nervous about it, but there is the option to make it so that only RealJock members can view your profile. What are the chances that someone you know in real life is going to wander onto this website and find your specific profile among thousands? Even more, what are the chances that someone you know will become a member, thus becoming able to view members-only profiles? icon_razz.gif Chances are if they make an account here, they're gay or bi and won't care that you are too.
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    Jul 22, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    It happens
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Jul 22, 2011 1:31 PM GMT
    thanks guys for for advice...I appreciate it!
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    Nov 26, 2011 9:53 PM GMT
    I'm back in the closet because of my job; the economy sent me back to the rural midwest so here I am.

    But during grad school (3 great years and 2 years afterwards when I didn't have a serious career position) I was surrounded with gay love, lol. The good thing is that all of those friends I made then, are still there for me, even though they've moved and have their own lives in their new cities. But this summer, I'm going to get to see a couple of them and hopefully meet more people through them.

    I also decided I'm going to spend more time in the bigger cities where there is a lot more gay life and acceptance. It would be pretty uncomfortable to try to be out and proud and everything I was before, in the town I live and work in now. But I can start to build a network and have fun again and meet people again if I'm willing to put in the time and effort to make the 90 minute drive every weekend or at least a couple times a month. I guess that would make me a weekend queer, lol. But, its better than doing nothing.

    Make friends, start somewhere. If you're not comfortable doing that in your town, take a weekend trip somewhere, a college town, a big city a few hours away, where you can be yourself and meet people. See where it leads and what kind of friendships you can make there. Maybe eventually it will all fall into place.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Nov 27, 2011 12:25 AM GMT
    So, everybody you've told has been supportive.
    That's really wonderful.
    And, it should be very encouraging.
    What are you waiting for ?
    Each day you put it off will only get lonelier.
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    Nov 27, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    Something to keep in mind, who do you think is going to see you on this website? Odds are extremely high that it will only be other gay dudes.

    Post a pic, keep it private. Decide who you want to open up to and let them see who you are. Ease into it. Times have changed, its a great time to be gay.

    You are the only one holding you back.
  • Whymim

    Posts: 10

    Feb 15, 2013 3:00 AM GMT
    cheer up. i myself get lonely at times.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 15, 2013 3:10 AM GMT
    comical44 saidI never thought I would post a topic on this ...But lately I have been feeling so lonely...

    Im kind of trapped in a sense....I'm not completely out...Ive told a couple of friends within the last year or so and they have been supportive and great and it make it easier to deal with being gay...But because I have only told THEM I feel limited..

    Im too scared to put a pic up of myself on here and other websites...So that limits a lot as well...People wont talk to me unless I have a pic up...Its completely understandable.


    Do any of you know where Im coming from? Im in the transitional phase and because of my own insecurities its making it hard for me to meet friends and find love...

    I never would post a topic like this but we are all aloud atleast 1 "woe is me" day Lol.

    Thanks for reading


    You have to decide if you like where you are, or don't. If you don't, then, take action, like yourself, and get on with life.

    You get to decide. No one else.

    Love yourself, first, and the rest will follow. Start this process by getting pictured and profiled. There's no boogie man here. That boogie man is you, inside your head, fucking yourself up. Tell your imaginary boogie man to leave.

    Or, you can choose to just stay miserable, lonely, self-loathing, scared of your shadow, etc. You get to decide. Getting pictured and profiled is a tiny, tiny, goal, that you can accomplish today. You can read mine. It has my full name, and so on. You may well find that once you open the closet door, the light shines in, and stuff gets a lot better.

    You chose to be miserable, not the other way. Now, you can choose to be not miserable.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 15, 2013 3:13 AM GMT
    The world might get hit by that big meteor tomorrow ...and we might all be dead ... nows your chance to come out a little more

    asteroid-big.jpg?uuid=5SicdHbHEeKV5GFI5F
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    Feb 15, 2013 3:32 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidThe world might get hit by that big meteor tomorrow ...and we might all be dead ...


    172144_o.gif
  • crisisgray

    Posts: 85

    Feb 15, 2013 4:19 AM GMT
    and 2 years later... any updates cause I really want to know, please?icon_redface.gif