What do you consider sacred in your life?

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    Jul 23, 2011 12:13 AM GMT
    Just opening a discussion...

    In these these threads about "open relationships" and "friends with benefits", recurring themes are "monogamy is not for everyone", "hedonism rules", "what you feel is right is right", "get over it, society", "being gay is different".

    All the while, we choose to bury our heads in the sand and not call a spade, a spade: "promiscuity", "being a slut", "infidelity", "sleeze bag, libido-driven crazy", "sex addiction", "commitment-less relationships", "soul-less sexual escapades", "carnally-minded", etc. It's no wonder we as a community find it hard for the greater society to "accept" us when we condone such behavior that in some way, reflects a sad level of immaturity.

    My point is, the offering and sharing of oneself in the most physically intimate way is to have sex with someone else, but if one shares in that way with more than one person, do we ultimately diminish the value of "exclusivity" for our significant other/boyfriend/partner?

    Wouldn't we want to give the best of ourselves to our partner alone, exclusively? Wouldn't we want to nurture that depth of expression of spiritual/physical connection with one other person? We can create depth, meaning, and a sacred space within a relationship with one other person, right? We treat our bodies as sacred. We honor them. We honor ourselves. Should we as a community focus more on that? Rather than lasciviousness and wantonness, perhaps the model of our community should project values of commitment, depth of character, integrity, fidelity, etc.? For in the end, those are things, I think, we all value, cherish and find heroic.

    Hence, the question - What is most sacred in your life? Is sex sacred? What aspect, and with whom? If so, why? Why do you do what you do? To those who sleep around, is sex really soul-less physicality for you? What does "being promiscuous" mean in the context of "open relationships" and FWB? Where do you find "sacred meaning" or how do you create sanctity? How do YOU honor yourself and your partner?



    UPDATE: From the responses, in general, I get the sense that "sex" then (the act of physical intimacy and sharing) is not commonly considered sacred? Note, there is a difference between what is "virtuous" and what is "sacred" or even "that which I like alot or value"? -- are we making a distinction here?
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    Jul 23, 2011 1:49 AM GMT
    Great post, first of all. I hold many things sacred, but what I hold most sacred is sacrifice. Whenever you forgive someone who doesn't deserve your forgiveness, or spend time on an effort without any care for return on investment, or give up something of yours so that someone else can move forward or catch up or make a start, it's powerful and draws others to you.

    Light gives up brilliance, it doesn't hoard it.
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    Jul 23, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    My me time. yes I may be in a 20+ year relationship, yet I am still one, and I hold my me time close to me where I get to lock myself away from the world in my garden with my dogs. I can live without sex. Other people, but since my work involves giving to others, my me time with my dogs in my garden is very important to me. Just as you can not take my family tree away from me, or the fact I am a True Blue Aussie the real thing. You can not take my me time away from me either.
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    Jul 23, 2011 1:54 AM GMT
    1. Compassion towards animals.
    2. Business
    3. Profits
    4. Friendships
    In that order

    Tristan
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    Jul 23, 2011 2:01 AM GMT

    For me, I find the sacred in my helping, being supportive of and compassionate towards others.

    In relationship, it is soul as well as body for me.
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    Jul 23, 2011 2:15 AM GMT
    Brownale saidGreat post, first of all. I hold many things sacred, but what I hold most sacred is sacrifice. Whenever you forgive someone who doesn't deserve your forgiveness, or spend time on an effort without any care for return on investment, or give up something of yours so that someone else can move forward or catch up or make a start, it's powerful and draws others to you.

    Light gives up brilliance, it doesn't hoard it.


    Reminds me of the saying; "Your willingness to receive blessings is related to your ability to give them".

    My greatest moments of happiness and self fulfilment in life are those which manifest themselves when I am thinking of the wellbeing of others, rather than that of my own.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    We don't think we can judge what works for others by what works for us.

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2011 5:49 AM GMT
    meninlove said We don't think we can judge what works for others by what works for us.

    icon_wink.gif


    Yet U judge I............
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    Jul 23, 2011 6:39 AM GMT
    I like the original post a lot.

    I'm not gonna completely answer, or spew all my thoughts, but I will say that I find music sacred. And my flute. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2011 6:40 AM GMT
    friendship

    sleep
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    Jul 23, 2011 7:27 AM GMT
    Love is sacred is love is; love...love,love.lo.ve. l.o.v.e. lloovvee luv laff loaf (in all its forms.)


    tumblr_lortv1zKO41qb5wbbo1_500.jpg
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    Jul 23, 2011 7:38 AM GMT

    "The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less." written by Bob Moorehead

    http://arreter.tumblr.com/post/7946302241/the-paradox-of-our-time-in-history-is-that-we-have
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    Jul 23, 2011 11:31 AM GMT
    God and Christ are sacred to me as well as life and the family of man. Are we not created in the image of God? Acts of compassion, love, mercy, kindness, honesty, generosity are all of those higher values which makes life worth living. Life of the Spirit is sacred.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 23, 2011 11:38 AM GMT
    - Material possessions do not = happiness.
    - Accomplishments fuels confidence.
    - Happiness and contemptment are cultivated, not given.
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    Jul 23, 2011 11:56 AM GMT
    Hmm...my religious beliefs, my family, but most importantly...respect.

    For example if somebody curses at me, I don't take kindly to that.

    I only use profanity when somebody has spitefully wronged me or physically harms me on purpose

    So I guess treating everyone with the respect you'd want.
  • twilight2010

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    Jul 23, 2011 5:20 PM GMT
    vincent7 saidGod and Christ are sacred to me as well as life and the family of man. Are we not created in the image of God? Acts of compassion, love, mercy, kindness, honesty, generosity are all of those higher values which makes life worth living. Life of the Spirit is sacred.


    I could not have said it better

    Amen to that

    Ps also compassion to animals and taking care of Gods creation
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    Jul 23, 2011 6:28 PM GMT
    The OP is laboring under a construal of the "marriage" relationship which is a modern construction, mostly derivative of bourgeois morality and evangelical/conservative christianity


    If it works for him, great. If not, that´s OK too. It´s not like it´s "god´s plan". It´s one way of doing it.
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    Jul 23, 2011 6:38 PM GMT
    Liked Chaa_xwvn's Robert Moorehead quote (above) alot!!!
    Thank you for it.
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    Jul 23, 2011 7:16 PM GMT
    newspapers on a Sunday morning are pretty close to sacred . . .

    . . . as for monogamy being a locus of sanctity, that's a hoot and one of monotheism's residual traces upon your psyche . . .
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Jul 23, 2011 7:20 PM GMT
    Coffee: It's deep, and it's real.
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    Jul 23, 2011 7:56 PM GMT
    somedaytoo saidCoffee: It's deep, and it's real.


    YEEEEEEESSSSS!!!! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2011 6:03 AM GMT
    You, OP, sound like a monogamous type... How about coffee sometime?? icon_razz.gif ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
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    Jul 24, 2011 10:47 AM GMT
    For me personally, monogamy is sacred. But I don't expect it to be for everyone.

    I also believe personal integrity, and empathy are very important.
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    Jul 24, 2011 1:55 PM GMT
    The ability to make a connection with another being is sacred.

    Customers on the job or the people I work with. Sometimes it's with my dogs or the other animals I meet each day. Even a brief look into a strangers eyes as we pass on the street. But especially with my partner, when we can lie quietly together and hold entire conversations without speaking a word.

    The experience of connection with another is a connection with the Divine.






    (no, not Divine drag queen)

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    Jul 24, 2011 2:02 PM GMT
    TerraFirma said
    All the while, we choose to bury our heads in the sand and not call a spade, a spade: "promiscuity", "being a slut..."


    But I like being called a slut. icon_question.gif

    What's sacred to me isn't about sex. Integrity, considering the principle of the matter are sacred to me. My privacy and personal time are sacred. My vow of celibacy is sacred (okay that's sort of about sex).