Hey I grew up in Detroit and was recently back for a few years post-college. I worked with urban planning initiatives so I'm fairly versed in the state of Detroit neighorhoods. Live in suburbs if you don't mind the pretentiousness. Birmingham and Royal Oak tend to be moreso than Ferndale. There's not much to do in Ferndale anyway. I would suggest checking out the Midtown area. A lot of young singles and young families have been moving there. There is a lot of activity and it's been very stable during the City's decline. It's close to downtown, the Cass Corridor, Comerica Park (Tigers stadium), and the museums.
Depending on your income and desired lifestyle, you can also check out University District, Palmer Woods, and Sherwood Forest. Those are residential areas on the North-West side, right on the border of Ferndale. Those tend to be pretty big houses, some are akin to mansions. Living there gives you easy access to Woodward Ave, making the drive to Ferndale, Royal Oak, and Birmingham pretty easy. But there's not much there in terms of nightlife.
Where there isn't a huge gay nightlife in the area for young people--sorry to fans but Pronto's sucks--there are lgbt and gay-friendly sports leagues. There's a RJer on here with a picture of a blue jersey playing soccer, name starts with a 'c'. He's involved in several and he's always looking for new members. New environments can always seem intimidating, especially when you hear so much bad stuff about them. Once you get there, you'll find Detroitors are some of the nicest, welcoming people you'll meet in a large city. They take pride in their city and the culture that it represents. Feel free to email me if you have any specific questions. Good luck and congrats on the job!