Hit on by longtime friend

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    Jul 24, 2011 5:20 PM GMT
    Long story somewhat shorter: I've been close with a family going back to the mid-90's, when I joined their small (OK, tiny) business. Though I've not been on their payroll for many years, the personal bonds have stayed strong. For all this time I've been part of and involved in their existences, including those of the kids who were 13 and 16 when we first met. Outing myself to them was the non-event of the century. ("Yeah, so? And...?")
    As time passed the offspring got on with their lives. The daughter went to college out of state and then to a career in Miami. The son drifted to LA with delusions of becoming the first naturally blonde hiphop sensation. "Vicki" I'd see on occasion during her visits home. But "Doug" hadn't had face time with me since probably 2003. He stubbornly chased his muse in Cali while holding a succession of dead-end jobs and being homeless at times. An on-and-off-again LTR ended with his chosen girl's breaking their engagement; he picked up the pieces and kept going. Only recently, at 32, did Doug put things into perspective and find a gig with a future that he's already advancing in.

    Yesterday was Vicki's wedding. Mixing and mingling beforehand, Doug and I caught sight of each other. His face lit up and his arms flew skyward. We ran into a warm tight hug which included back rubbing without the usual pats. "Dude, it's so damn good to see you again!" he cried. Next thing I knew, he was planting a big kiss where the right side of my neck meets the collarbone. icon_eek.gif I laughed it off with, "Going Euro on me huh?" He just chuckled and we kept talking.

    The night rolled along, a fine New England summer evening by the water with all the usual wedding food and shenanigans. Doug was at a family table, naturally, while I schmoozed with the people in my group across the room. We saw next to nothing of each other throughout the reception, except when he was making the rounds. Two sisters he'd known since early childhood were at my table, so he mostly devoted his attention to them. As he moved on, he told me that he'd be back to chat me up later.

    11 PM passed, and the people I'd be traveling home with were ready to go. We said our goodbyes to the happy parents and to Vicki. Then Doug appeared: "Awww, you're leaving?" He strode right up to me and started in on another big hug. This time the kissing started on my right cheek and ended at the neck/collarbone junction five wet smooches later. And his hands weren't just roaming around my back and shoulders. He started lightly poking and pinching around my chest and midsection too. I followed suit even as a feeling of awkwardness took over. Even if Doug hadn't been wearing a loose-fitting black tux I was too weirded out to do a "hard-on check." But I could definitely feel mine starting. Strangest of all, the classic excuse of being drunk didn't apply. Neither of us had imbibed much more than a few sips of champagne and a couple of beers. Doug knew EXACTLY what he was doing. I pulled back and headed for the door as he yelled for me to add him on Facebook, "please!"

    Hundreds of stories like this have been created for "Letters to Playboy," "Penthouse Forum," and just about every Gay mag or Website. But those stories end up with full detail of the wild sex that follows. Real life ain't so simple. Doug and I go all the way back to when he was a class-skipping beat-dropping delinquent and I was shoring up his family's business rocking a comb-over. Never had there been any discussions, sincere or otherwise, about gay life much less gay sex. I didn't have eyes for a teenager and he was racking up female conquests. Now I'm left to wonder whether a decade or so as a lone wolf on the West Coast has taught him a few things. The angel on my shoulder says to leave things be. A future meeting could well lead to a roll in the hay. This would likely be great fun, but would definitely have an impact on how I relate to him and his family. The devil on the other shoulder says, "Hey, he's hot, he's tight, he's all grown up. When the afterglow's gone and your pants are back on you'll still be friends."

    Should I heed the devil or the angel? icon_question.gif
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    Jul 24, 2011 6:16 PM GMT
    Idk, depends on how desperate you are for sex when you see him next?
    Ultimately you'd know what to do better than anyone else on this site would.

    If his family found out would they care?
    Would you care? or feel somewhat guilty?
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    Jul 24, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    tl;dr
    Do what feels right, but sleep on it first!
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    Jul 24, 2011 7:03 PM GMT
    DTP_82 saidIdk, depends on how desperate you are for sex when you see him next?
    Ultimately you'd know what to do better than anyone else on this site would.

    If his family found out would they care?
    Would you care? or feel somewhat guilty?


    This and meet him in more relaxed setting. Perhaps you can find out on whats on his mind.

    Atm be the angel.
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    Jul 25, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    The angel definitely rules, I'm too old and wise. icon_wink.gif

    It'll probably be years and years before I cross paths with "Doug" again. But things have changed regardless. He'd stopped short of full-on making out only by not locking lips and by keeping his roaming hands above my waist, while sober enough to easily clear a roadside checkpoint. (Who hasn't been told "I LOVE you, man" by someone half in the bag?) He definitely had brass in his briefs to be doing all this in front of over a hundred people (many of them ex-football-player friends of the groom) too. That's what made it "newsworthy."

    This only went onto RJ because I'm not interested in any attention being put on Doug by his family and friends over this. And I know the people in my life enough to realize that some will fall into the "devil" camp and some onto the "angel" side. He's probably a Kinsey 1 or 2 given his lengthy track record with women. Far be it from me to make noise over this and cause him to feel bad about what was pretty clearly a revelation on his part.

    So far nobody's added an anecdote of their own to compare mine against, but that's OK.

    I don't like the stigmas attached to men who get their M2M action on the down-low (and which cause them to seek it on the DL, in an endless cycle.) But if by chance Doug and I reconnect in a more "controlled" environment, and we end up having sex, that's how it will be. "Hey, Doug's Mom! Y'know how we smoked bowls before? Now we've smoked poles too!" RIIIIGHT. All else aside, this is what gets me the most - that a guy testing the bi waters will get the message that it should be kept quiet.
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    Jul 25, 2011 4:43 AM GMT
    Well honestly, I dont see how this necessarily devil vs angel... its more, what does he really want? And does it match with what you want... from what I can see here it's no.. so don't
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    Jul 25, 2011 3:10 PM GMT
    It's not like he professed his love for you and wanted to drop everything and move in with you.

    If you're okay with hooking up with him, do so...but you said it'll be years and years before you see him...a bit confused.

    Either way, why does his family have to know? Do you normally broadcast your sexual conquests?

    He's horny, finds you attractive and wants to get laid...if you can have sex without catching feelings, do so...just be aware that he might catch feelings is all and be prepared to deal with that. You can even let him know that it's no strings attached, but people can't turn feelings on and off.

    If you want to date him, make that clear...whatever you do, state your intentions clearly and have a little fun if you feel so lead icon_smile.gif