What are your rules when it comes to webcamming with guys... especially when you have a monogamous partner?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2011 11:15 AM GMT
    My partner and I have been in a monogamous relationship for almost a year now. However, we came to the conclusion that webcamming was the 'loop hole' of a monogamous relationship. We're not physically having sex with another person, we're just exercising our fantasies and turn-on's with guys on the net.

    What's your view? Can it go pear-shaped? What are your experiences??? Is it only ok to webcam with guys from other countries or far enough that the temptations won't become too great?

    Let me know...

    N
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    Jul 25, 2011 11:32 AM GMT
    Do it even if the bf says no, I know I did. It's not gonna hurt him or fuck up your relationship since it's with people from elsewhere. And if you're having fun and no one's getting hurt, why not? Strict adherence to monogamy when one and/or both partners want something extra will kill a relationship.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Jul 25, 2011 11:35 AM GMT
    unless it is taking time out of responsibilities with in the relationship.
    As a relationship grows and develops it's less about INSIDE the other person and more about just being with them.
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    Jul 25, 2011 12:00 PM GMT
    The main thing is you've discussed it and you're happy with it in the context of your relationship.

    I think that a policy of 'look but don't touch' is fine in a monogamous relationship, but some people would disagree - ultimately, it's YOUR relationship and you don't need anyone else to validate it.

    It could also be pretty hot to webcam WITH your partner, I know a lot of couples enjoy that because it's something new and fun to do without it involving a third (or fourth, fifth whatever) physically. So maybe explore that!
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    Jul 25, 2011 12:01 PM GMT
    Whoring is whoring, no matter how fine a point you put on it.
  • thisguy023

    Posts: 204

    Jul 25, 2011 1:45 PM GMT

    Totally agree with Pure.
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    Jul 25, 2011 1:52 PM GMT

    We've webcammed with others but there certainly wasn't anything sexual going on.

    Did you mean cyber-sex?
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    Jul 25, 2011 1:54 PM GMT
    Its your relationship, do as yo please. I would not have a problem with webcamming personally.
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    Jul 25, 2011 2:18 PM GMT
    Pure saidThe main thing is you've discussed it and you're happy with it in the context of your relationship.

    I think that a policy of 'look but don't touch' is fine in a monogamous relationship, but some people would disagree - ultimately, it's YOUR relationship and you don't need anyone else to validate it.

    It could also be pretty hot to webcam WITH your partner, I know a lot of couples enjoy that because it's something new and fun to do without it involving a third (or fourth, fifth whatever) physically. So maybe explore that!

    As a single guy, I knew a hot guy and his partner who liked to webcam with me and it would get them all hot and worked up while we were on cam. They would end up getting frisky on cam and probably enjoyed showing off and being exhibitionists for me. I certainly had a helluva time with them on cam and no one was hurt by our play. So I say go for it if this is what you both enjoy!!
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    Jul 25, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    I wouldn't do webcammihg of any sort unless the guy with whom I have a monogamous relationship is fully informed and has consented to it. Ultimately it's a question of respect, trust, and transparency. If the relationship is not exclusive or monogamous, then you can do whatever you want within the parameters of your relationship.
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    Jul 25, 2011 2:25 PM GMT
    with in the context of my relationship it is unacceptable...funny how these guys are so far away and yet know someone who knows someone that says hey your man has a nice cock...excuse me but were trying to eat dinner here.
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    Jul 25, 2011 3:17 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidwith in the context of my relationship it is unacceptable...funny how these guys are so far away and yet know someone who knows someone that says hey your man has a nice cock...excuse me but were trying to eat dinner here.


    Um, where the hell are you eating dinner at that someone would just roll up on you and say that?

    Listen, you do what makes you all happy and fuck everyone else. It's your relationship, you don't need anyone else's approval besides your main man or lady. People get too judgey cause they're to discontented with their own shit.
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    Jul 25, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    msuboy said


    Um, where the hell are you eating dinner at that someone would just roll up on you and say that?



    Haiku (Columbus) it happened.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    Well I wouldn't do it if my boyfriend wasn't ok with it, and I'm certainly not going to have that kind of conversation to find out. It'd just open up a can of worms. >.>
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
    Pure saidThe main thing is you've discussed it and you're happy with it in the context of your relationship.

    I think that a policy of 'look but don't touch' is fine in a monogamous relationship, but some people would disagree - ultimately, it's YOUR relationship and you don't need anyone else to validate it.

    It could also be pretty hot to webcam WITH your partner, I know a lot of couples enjoy that because it's something new and fun to do without it involving a third (or fourth, fifth whatever) physically. So maybe explore that!
    This pretty much sums it up. It's amazing how much fun can be had when you openly communicate and share in intimacy. It's all about pleasing your partner, not with JUST you but with what pleases him and then sharing in that pleasure.

    Great answer Pure! Thnks.
  • laxdude25

    Posts: 604

    Jul 25, 2011 4:11 PM GMT
    I think Pure gave a great answer when it comes to the question of websex while in a relationship. In general, I'm not big on cyber sex, although have broken the rules a few times when it is clear that we're both really into each other and there won't be a meeting soon.
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    Jul 25, 2011 4:31 PM GMT
    FrostedFlakes saidDo it even if the bf says no, I know I did. It's not gonna hurt him or fuck up your relationship since it's with people from elsewhere. And if you're having fun and no one's getting hurt, why not? Strict adherence to monogamy when one and/or both partners want something extra will kill a relationship.


    Or maybe it's the person doing it when their partner doesn't want them to that kills the relationship
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    Jul 25, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    I consider it cheating, but I guess if you talked about it, it's ok. My thing is: why are you in a relationship if your bf's not good enough to satisfy you that you have to go and jerk off on camera with some other dude?

    I don't get it... my ex-bf did it (webcam with several guys) behind my back and I dumped his sorry ass. Am I wrong?
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    Jul 25, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    hazardous said
    FrostedFlakes said...thus and thus...
    ...this and that...

    no_drama.png
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jul 25, 2011 5:02 PM GMT
    My view...you're lookin not touchin...Your partners cool with it...What's the harm....Couples use porn all the time to spice things up...Don't worry about it...BUD
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    Jul 25, 2011 5:09 PM GMT
    As long as you take off your wedding ring if you're jacking off on cam with your left hand then it's all aces.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2011 5:24 PM GMT
    in a relationship? no.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Jul 25, 2011 5:51 PM GMT
    Any relationship that seeks to have it's parameters set by outside opinions or 'acceptable norms' is not a solid relationship. There are no rules except the ones you define for yourself. All the rest is judgment passed by a jury of the ignorant.
    Love.
    Trust.
    Respect.
    Honesty.
    If you've got that, then the rest is up to you.
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    Jul 25, 2011 7:32 PM GMT
    alphatrigger said
    hazardous said
    FrostedFlakes said...thus and thus...
    ...this and that...

    no_drama.png


    If this were the general rule of thumb on RJ, no one would post...
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    Jul 25, 2011 8:29 PM GMT
    If you have a monogamous partner and are happy, why would you want to get you rocks off or otherwise, on cam? Something must be missing.
    As Gaymerboy said; It'd just open a cam (sic) of worms...