Too soon to buy the new man a birthday present?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2008 4:56 AM GMT
    Advice needed guys... been dating a great guy for a very short time (only 10 days in) and it's his birthday on Saturday.

    So... do I buy him a present or not?

    I know it's very early in the relationship, but I do know enough about him to buy something that he'd really like that isn't too over the top.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2008 11:04 AM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle saidAwh....that's very sweet of you.
    I'd love to give my feedback but I don't know much about the other person. I would personally not give someone a gift right off the bat because if you start a relationship off with material gifts this person may grow to expect that from you on a regular or somewhat regular basis.
    I'd definitely take this person to a nice dinner and maybe some flowers. Good food always wins me over. icon_smile.gif


    Great advice! icon_biggrin.gif Nothing to add since I've never been there. icon_wink.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 27, 2008 11:22 AM GMT
    You can...
    and it will be a real sweet gesture
    but don't make it extravagant or expensive
    it's a real good excuse to take him out and pay for a nice romantic dinnericon_wink.gif
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    Apr 27, 2008 1:55 PM GMT
    GQjock saidYou can...
    and it will be a real sweet gesture
    but don't make it extravagant or expensive
    it's a real good excuse to take him out and pay for a nice romantic dinnericon_wink.gif


    Ditto.

    It would be bad manners not to do something since you know about it.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 27, 2008 2:15 PM GMT
    I agree with GQ and Cazz... I would get him something like a card and a minor gift.... OR I would get him a card and offer to take him to lunch for his birthday.
    I would probably do that latter since its early in the relationship and the objective is to get to know him.

    One other point. I think its important to see how he accepts whatever you wish to give. With a card and lunch, your taking your time.. to wish him a happy birthday.

    The last thing you should do is get a major gift. You don't know him well enough.

    Let us know what you do.....
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    Apr 27, 2008 2:57 PM GMT
    I agree with all of the above.......and can only add this: You're still brand new with the guy - why not take things slowly and use a lot of restraint?

    Here is another alternative......how about going to dinner someplace nice and quiet - maybe an hour's drive away from where you live? Just spend some quality time getting to know each other. If you gave me a present at this point (10 days into the relationship) I would appreciate it on the one hand, but might be feeling a bit rushed and the last thing you want to do I know, is crowd things right now.

    Good luck! You are thoughtful, kind and considerate - this guy is lucky to be getting to know you!
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Apr 27, 2008 2:58 PM GMT
    GQjock saidYou can...
    and it will be a real sweet gesture
    but don't make it extravagant or expensive
    it's a real good excuse to take him out and pay for a nice romantic dinnericon_wink.gif
    Yeah this is a perfect idea!
    Or perhaps treat him to an activity that you guys can do together like scuba diving or skydiving.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2008 3:03 PM GMT
    Yeh go and buy something but don't over do it!

    Happy Birthdays to come !!!!!!!!!!!!
  • JohnDallas

    Posts: 87

    Apr 27, 2008 3:22 PM GMT
    I wouldn't get him a gift. I think its to early in the relationship. It would be a great excuse to take him to a great restaurant you would normally never go to. And then since its his Birthday ask him what he wants to do afterwards. Have fun with your birthday man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    10 days isnt a long time. Take him out for a few drinks or get him a card and a small cake. Nothing crazy.
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    Apr 27, 2008 3:40 PM GMT
    Something very small. Treating him to dinner will be appreciated as well. Don't forget his birthday, that may not go over very well (unless he is neurotic about getting older).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2008 4:46 PM GMT
    Gift may be pushing it. Send him an e-card. Shows you know, you remembered and thought of him. Platonic, but keeps the fire burning.
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    Apr 27, 2008 5:55 PM GMT
    The real question is, do you want to get him something? And are you sure what you want to do won't just make him roll his eyes? Cause the guys mentioning cards... yeah, when I get bday cards from anyone other than grandma or coworkers, I just think "Great, you know me well enough to have Hallmark pick something out for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2008 9:15 PM GMT
    Nine days after we started dating, my then-BF gave me a cassette tape, a book, and a card for my birthday. It was funny and sweet, and I'll always remember the moment he gave them to me even if they weren't "big" gifts.

    Do something small that shows your personality and that you care. Wait until next year to give him the BMW. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2008 9:26 PM GMT
    I would say that you should follow your heart. If you're comfortable enough to give him a present after 10 days, then chances are he's comfortable enough to accept one from you. Don't go crazy. Something small but sentimental should be enough. Additionally, he probably has friends or family that are taking him out to dinner on his birthday, so maybe you should do dinner another night where it can just be the two of you. Anyway, good luck. I'm sure you'll make the right choice for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2008 9:46 PM GMT
    If it is a very inexpensive or fun present it would be ok... Like maybe burning him a disk of his favorite workout music?

    Don't spend big bucks or he will be embarrassed, and maybe think you are moving too fast.

    A rally romantic dinner might be more appropriate - especially if you can cook it yourself.

    What the hell do I know though - every relationship moves at its own speed. On our third date I bought my partner a Breitling dive watch when his broke (We were in the Canary's diving).
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Apr 28, 2008 9:47 PM GMT
    Definitely get him something or do something special for him like a picnic. It's too early to go buying him undies and jewelry.
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    Apr 28, 2008 9:51 PM GMT
    Doesn't 10 days equate with like 5 years in gay relationships? J/K

    Ask him if he wants you to get him anything. When I've been in this situation I have told and been told that it's not expected but it's a nice thing to do. After a week you should at least know whether to get a gift card for books or movies, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 10:56 AM GMT
    Well.... no need to worry about going too fast... it's now over.

    Meh.

    Thanks for all your suggestions guys...
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    Apr 30, 2008 1:18 PM GMT
    Ignorance77 saidWell.... no need to worry about going too fast... it's now over.


    Sorry to hear. Told ya to wait on that BMW... ;)
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    Apr 30, 2008 7:10 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear that, but you're such a sweet guy just to think about it.
    Better luck next time.