It is all about the small, tiny, seemingly inconsequential baby-steps that you begin taking in the right direction. Over time it adds up and you are a long way from where you started out, then you look back and feel even better about how far you have come.
If you have only been out for one year, do not get so hung up on the fact you are not married to a perfect mate. After leading an "alternative" life for so long, you finally took the shrink wrap off your real life recently and you have a lot of exploring and figuring things out to do on your own. Experience the world, try everything once, figure out what you want, just never lose respect for yourself along the way.
The most important thing is to have someone to talk to - someone you can ALWAYS be yourself to, you can always just speak your mind about a situation and feel like this person always has your back. That is the most important thing because you need to learn how to just be yourself, your real self, out and about. Seriously - it is not the worst thing in the world to say something totally, mind-blowingly, and frolickingly gay on the tube around other people. This is basically just - grow a backbone. Start with one person, talk about your gayness, talk about who is cute, how you wish that guy on the street had asked for your mobile number. If you do not have friends or family that can fulfill this "talker" role - get a psychologist or psychiatrist. Just bite the bullet on the cost and social stigma you might perceive - it will give you such great self esteem when you realize one day that you can be yourself and that is a very good thing.
Joining RJ is a good start - message a bunch of people and try to start up some conversations. Join a gay sports league. Try to use the "gay dating" sites to make a friend or two, go hang out and do something active or go shopping or something.
If you are not happy with how things are right now - here is what you do: make a list of everything you have tried that has not worked. Draw through each thing with a big red sharpie - then start brainstorming new things like the gay sports league and things like that.
Oft repeated is that you need to be happy with yourself before you can ask someone else to be happy with you - so just start isolating things that need to improve. Would reading gay literature like David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs make you more well-rounded in a way you would value? Then go read. Would being a gourmet cook, to offer that casually as a first date idea to your next potential, seem like a good idea? Then register for some cooking classes.
You are in the theatre - gays like that. You would be a hit at nearly any gay party I have been to
It's okay to feel down once in a while, sometimes you need that to kick you in the butt to make you get up and start changing things. Just don't make it a habit to feel down about your life, your situation, and your life not turning out the way you thought it would way back when you were ten years old.
And go check out the "UK guys hotter than USA guys" thread - there is some ego boost right there.