responses to innapropriate questions from coworkers

  • kansascityman

    Posts: 31

    Apr 27, 2008 9:07 PM GMT
    OK, here's the deal: I work in a professinal setting with disabled kids. A part of my duties include outdoor activities, sometimes in extreme heat, so occasionally in the summer I wear shorts. This is acceptable to administration, and never when meeting with parents.

    I also have skinny legs. Genetics, its a bitch! But... I get comments from other staff (jsut a few) about how skinny my legs are. Not from friends, but from coworkers I never associate with outside of work. I don't even know these folks well (all women).

    WTF? I know I have skinny legs, and got crap in high school from the jocks about it. I don't need it from people who are barely aquaintences. Other than responding with criticisms of their physcial attributes, I can't think of anything to say to them. Its petty and childish, but it still pisses me off. There are only a few who do it, so its not a huge deal, but other than going "Joan Crawford" on them, I can't think of a decent responses.

    Any ideas? mainly just venting, but shorts weather is coming up soon!
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    Apr 27, 2008 9:09 PM GMT
    Try being a redhead in the UK. You get strangers in the street calling you "ginge".

    If you're that bothered with it get to the gym and start cycling, that'll sort out the skinny legs issue.
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    Apr 27, 2008 9:09 PM GMT
    Ignore them, or really crank up the calf exercises.

    Your best bet is pry to just ignore them though.
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    Apr 27, 2008 9:28 PM GMT
    I suggest responsing: "yeah, I have been teased about it my whole life." That'll make 'em feel like 2 cents right on the spot.
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    Apr 27, 2008 10:57 PM GMT
    Caslon saidI suggest responsing: "yeah, I have been teased about it my whole life." That'll make 'em feel like 2 cents right on the spot.


    Or, my favorite: Look amazed and say, "Really? I've lived on this planet for 47 years and no one has EVER mentioned this before. I'll have to look into this pronto!"
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    Apr 27, 2008 11:17 PM GMT
    Those are all good suggestions, here are some more...

    "Why yes, they are small, almost as small as your tits."

    "Phew! I was hoping someone would make me feel insecure before the day was over, otherwise I'd have nothing to talk to my therapist about tomorrow."

    "I know, right? My tiny legs make my cock look extra HUGE."

    "I'd rather have my skinny legs than your fat ankles."

    "We'll see how skinny my leg feels shoved up your ass."






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    Apr 27, 2008 11:19 PM GMT
    My thought is not to wear shorts if you are self conscious about your legs. Otherwise, work them out. Try squats. In paper, scissors, rock - squats always win.

    Obviously, this bothers you. Why blame the people who comment about it? What are you going to do, sue them for harassment?

    Do your disabled kids piss-and-moan because of their disabilities, or do they just do the best they can? Maybe look to your kids for inspiration. Do your disabled kids harangue idiots who taunt them, or put themselves in awkward situations by dressing to accentuate their disabilities?

    I say grow a pair of BALLS and stop whining like an old woman.

    Terry


  • kansascityman

    Posts: 31

    Apr 27, 2008 11:25 PM GMT
    actually, pdxboxer, I did tell one woman that they only looked skinny next to her enormous hips.

    Gee, Terry, why didn't I think of working out to make them bigger? hmmmm. maybe, because some people don't have the great good luck you must have to be so blessed genetically that everything is perfect. Are all your answers always so bitchy?
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    Apr 27, 2008 11:43 PM GMT
    Your profile says you're 47. I'm surprised at this age you let any kind of comments from near strangers even resonate with you in the least.

    But inappropriate comments like that don't merit a response. At the most, you make no comment but glare at them with a look that let's them know they overstepped the line and, hopefully, they would be gracious enough to apologize.
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    Apr 27, 2008 11:50 PM GMT
    OK I am bitchy. Agreed.

    Genetics are beyond your control (and mine).

    I have TITS, real TITS, because I did STEROIDS, because I lost a lot of weight, and because I have bad genetics. Result, I don't go without a shirt because I cannot, period.

    My bitch is that, I actually have a sort-of six pack and I have a pair of sagging old-woman TITS hanging over them.

    One of these days I will get my TITS lopped off and then I will go around without a shirt whooping to the heavens and posting indecent pictures online. Until then I will demonstrate decorum suitable to my age and the fact that I am a man with TITS.

    What I said in response to your whining thread actually was this; if you are sensitive about your legs then don't put yourself in a situation in which people will ridicule your for them, and then complain (to other people, online for the love of Mary) that some dumb Kansas women ridicule you. That just makes no sense.

    Since you are genetically blessed with a handsome face, a nice looking body, etc. accentuate what you have and not what you don't. That is called gratitude, and it is way more becoming than a pair of nice gams.

    For the record, I AM A BITCH; BITCH is who I am. No shame from me.

    Ignore me, don't post threads asking for a response, or complain to the management.

    What I want to know is what you actually want to achieve in posting a thread like this?

    Do you just want to hear opinions that say "poor little you, how sad those old Kansas girls give you shit for your chicken legs" or do you want to have a genuine, useful, discussion?

    See, I don't think skinny legs are the problem, I think the victim mentality is the problem.

    Hows that for bitchy??? I think that is a full-on-Chucky-quality rant.

    Your legs are fine.

    Meant to be kind,
    Terry
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    Apr 27, 2008 11:57 PM GMT
    Indeed, Chucky would be in awe.

    Nah, he wouldn't have understood a word of that. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 28, 2008 12:52 AM GMT
    Let's flip it around a little. What if you walked up to some fat woman and said, "God you've got fat legs". Imgaine what a jerk everyone would think you are. Yet, it's really the same thing.

    I like that comment made above about that you were hoping that someone would make you feel insecure about yourself today.

    A comment that I've used many times is, How old are you, 12?

    If it hurts you, it hurts you. Tell them. Some people just happen to be idiots.
  • upsguy68

    Posts: 270

    Apr 28, 2008 2:23 AM GMT
    I have to agree with Caslon. You get the point across that the comments do bother you without stooping to their level of immaturity. I'm sure that it's all in fun to the them. But comments like that do play on one's insecurities.
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:28 AM GMT
    If it bothers you that much, just ask them if they thought it an appropriate comment or question. Most, on reflection, will probably realize it wasn't. Or say something like "I know, but that hasn't inhibited their function yet."

    Hows that for bitchy??? I think that is a full-on-Chucky-quality rant.

    Nah, it's only chuckiesque when you shove shaved chicken-smooth, steroid enhanced muscle in our faces. Bawdy talk about man tits just takes it to a whole other level, but haven't laughed that hard in a while.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 28, 2008 2:28 AM GMT
    I'd much prefer to have skinny legs than to be an overweight slob.... any day.

    I'd just make the comment, genetics are a bitch, but give me my legs anytime than to be overweight individual. I'd also be tempted to say "It isn't an issue for me, so why would it be for you.

    Since you are a professional, I'd have a modest comeback, then change the subject. The focus for you should be the kids, not your legs...or your rude co-workers.
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:28 AM GMT
    Cry "HR violation" in the middle of your cubicle jungle. I'll bet they shut up, then.
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:34 AM GMT
    redheadguy saidTry being a redhead in the UK. You get strangers in the street calling you "ginge".

    If you're that bothered with it get to the gym and start cycling, that'll sort out the skinny legs issue.


    fanta pants rock my world. i love redheads.
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:44 AM GMT
    weird how i was talking about this with my sister not too long ago.
    It's like 'how do you benefit by telling me something like that?'

    People always make fun of me because i have a flat head (yeah...I've been stubborn since I was a baby and I WOULD NOT turn sideways in my sleep...lol)


    My sister's advice was to reply to them in an educated way, so that they realize how inappropriate they look.

    Another one that I tried was being sarcastic. Someone once told me "hey! your head is flat from the back!" and I replied "oh shit, really!? Last time I checked it was a cone! I need to fix it asap!" --it made him seem like a fool.

    I try not to lower to their level, but there are times when I just can't help it.

    I have skinny legs too, and I rarely wear shorts; but lately it's been so hot that I have no other choice. Last week I went to the gym (wearing shorts) and then to a study room where I was meeting some friends. One of the girls was trying to be clever and said "Ive never seen you wear shorts... your legs are SOOO skinny!" She'd been annoying me for the last weeks so I could not stop myself from telling her "yeah i know...that's why I go to the gym; you should try going too u know? it might help you lose that belly"

    I felt like a dick, but she had no right in mocking me. It worked, because she stopped being annoying with me.
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Apr 28, 2008 3:34 AM GMT
    Kick them hard and say, "How skinny are they NOW, bitch??"
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Apr 28, 2008 3:52 AM GMT
    i believe squarejaw's response is the appropriate one in any situation.

    Personally, it's usually how I greet ppl when they wish me a good morning...

    WOOTWOOT! Monday's right around the corner!
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    Apr 28, 2008 3:59 AM GMT
    briarhawk said

    WOOTWOOT! Monday's right around the corner!

    *kicks briarhawk*
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    Apr 28, 2008 4:12 AM GMT
    zdrew said[quote][cite]briarhawk said[/cite]

    WOOTWOOT! Monday's right around the corner!

    *kicks briarhawk*[/quote]

    followed by a Zangiff style suplex!!!!!

    meanie.gif
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    Apr 28, 2008 4:23 AM GMT
    Sometimes bro, silence speaks volumes. There are times when a comment is just too stupid to dignify it with a response. When people say dumb stuff like that, its usually a combination of three underlying factors. 1.) Speaking without thinking, 2.) they are looking to get a response out of you. 3.) they are pointing out some perceived flaw of yours to avoid paying attention to their own.

    Take their joy away, by not saying a word, just walk away. The lack of a response at all will let them know you don't think highly of the comment, they will be robbed of their hope of getting a response out of you, and the silence on your part will drive them nuts wondering if they over stepped the bounds or pissed you off, and that way the focus is not your legs, its their annoying comment and the dead silence.

    Last, it shows some professional class. You don't lower yourself to their level, or play their game of speaking without thinking. It shows self control and personal composure, a certain self awareness...all of these far sexier traits then stupid comments or bitchiness...just my two cents.

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    Apr 28, 2008 5:36 AM GMT
    I would probably reply something to the effect "Yeah, and your make up makes you look like a clown..."
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    Apr 28, 2008 6:12 AM GMT
    Well I am the apposite. Big calves legs like tree trunks. I too work in a field that is 85% + females. Yet I too get comments about my legs, but not for being to skinny, but for having great legs.

    One really does not give a rats ass, what they think, either. Yet If One was to comment about what a great pair of jugs they have. This would be harassment, yet unwanted comments to males about their legs, is not.
    Stinks of discrimination to me.

    Agree with em, and say I know. I've seen better on a pool table.