Did you choose to be gay?

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    Jul 26, 2011 11:50 PM GMT
    I was talking to a guy the other day who told me that he chose to be gay. I've never heard any of any gay person saying this, but that wasn't the only part that shocked me, he told me that he thinks being gay is not inherent, and every homosexual has decided to be gay. He told me the reason why he is gay is because girls suck at sex... I know that he is entitled to his opinion and everything, but I couldn't help but be a little pissed off. Here is this gay guy, going around telling every homophobe, and all the people just coming around to accepting homosexuals, who ask about his sexuality that being gay is a choice, making the situation worse for those of us who can't help it. I never chose to be gay, it just was. I didn't have a day where I decided, "hey, I want to be ostracized by society because I think men are better in bed." Maybe it is true that he chose to be gay and other people have chosen it, but it seems naive and almost like betrayal to go around telling everyone that gay people decided to be that way. So my question is, did you or anyone you know choose to be gay? What's the reasoning behind it?
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:03 AM GMT
    Not in the slightest. In fact, I tried to fight against it/repress it during early adolescence.

    I think the guy, if what he said is 100% true (and I would defo take his stated opinion with a huge grain of salt, as i've never heard of anybody choosing their sexuality before), is more than likely bi in actual fact, but clearly prefers men, for sex, at this point.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:23 AM GMT
    _SAGE_ saidNot in the slightest. In fact, I tried to fight against it/repress it during early adolescence.

    I think the guy, if what he said is 100% true (and I would defo take it with a huge grain of salt, as i've never heard of anybody choosing their sexuality before), is more than likely bi in actual fact, but clearly prefers men, for sex, at this point.

    +1
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:23 AM GMT
    I chose to be fabulous. I don't think the two are mutually inclusive
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:23 AM GMT
    Ironic_Rebirth said
    hazardous saidSo my question is, did you or anyone you know choose to be gay? What's the reasoning behind it?

    hmmmm maybe everyone needs a hobby!icon_lol.gif why would you say that we have a choice because believe me we do not. We are born this way, and the faster people like you get it through you thick skulls, the world would be a much much better place.


    I don't think Hazardous is stating a choice exists, just asking if others believe so or not.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:26 AM GMT
    This guy was clearly bisexual, which I'm sure he didn't choose to be, but upon having sex with both males and females made the decision to be strictly gay. Hopefully he clarifies when he tells people that shit. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:26 AM GMT
    No choice -- it's how I'm wired naturally.

    As far as your friend is concerned: he hasn't learned how to be truthful with himself. Oh the lies some tell themselves.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:28 AM GMT
    Well .. i didn't choose to be a gay , and i believe its not about genetic things ... its all about ur environment ...
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    He could be actually bisexual....and just decided I'm gonna go for men right now and although he still maybe be attracted to women - he is gonna explore the male sides of things.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:30 AM GMT
    hazardous saidDid you choose to be gay?
    Originally, no. But once I got older and saw just how many hot guys there are, it surprised me that more "straight" guys don't turn gay.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:30 AM GMT
    L_O_L saidWell .. i didn't choose to be a gay , and i believe its not about genetic things ... its all about ur environment ...


    What do you mean by environment? Me and my brother are 15 months apart and have been inseparable ever since, practically in the same environment at all times. He's straight, I'm not.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:37 AM GMT
    hazardous saidSo my question is, did you or anyone you know choose to be gay? What's the reasoning behind it?

    No. Everyone I know who's gay, myself included, was born gay. No one chooses it. And I am very happy to be gay. Proud, in fact.

    My only regret & sadness was that I was slow to realize it, in denial too long. I blame it on being born in the 1940s, raised in the 50s & 60s, confused by the sissy gay stereotypes we had then, to which I did not conform, and still don't. And then I spent 25 years in the US Army, which further isolated me from the rest of US culture.

    As soon as I retired and spent time in the civilian community I realized how clueless I'd been, and came out 6 months later. I've never been happier.

    No, we don't choose to be gay. The question is whether & when we choose to accept it.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:38 AM GMT
    No, but not being normal
    was always on the programme.
    And today I sure am a quare fellow.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 27, 2011 12:41 AM GMT
    I decided to pursue an attraction and be honest with myself and feelings.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:42 AM GMT
    I don't understand statements like the topic title. Unless you're actually bi and never deal with guys again, I don't see how this statement can be valid....
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:48 AM GMT
    KardioKing said
    L_O_L saidWell .. i didn't choose to be a gay , and i believe its not about genetic things ... its all about ur environment ...


    What do you mean by environment? Me and my brother are 15 months apart and have been inseparable ever since, practically in the same environment at all times. He's straight, I'm not.


    If you were straight I would be sad.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    dekiruman said
    KardioKing said
    L_O_L saidWell .. i didn't choose to be a gay , and i believe its not about genetic things ... its all about ur environment ...


    What do you mean by environment? Me and my brother are 15 months apart and have been inseparable ever since, practically in the same environment at all times. He's straight, I'm not.


    If you were straight I would be sad.


    Me too. icon_sad.gif

    I find straight life tediously boring.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    Of course.....I refuse to travel the path more travelled......

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    Jul 27, 2011 12:50 AM GMT
    MisterModest saidI don't understand statements like the topic title. Unless you're actually bi and never deal with guys again, I don't see how this statement can be valid....


    Maybe a couple people should have read the text first...
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:54 AM GMT
    KardioKing saidThis guy was clearly bisexual, which I'm sure he didn't choose to be, but upon having sex with both males and females made the decision to be strictly gay. Hopefully he clarifies when he tells people that shit. icon_neutral.gif


    Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. It goes without saying that I just walked away from that ticking time-bomb.
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    Jul 27, 2011 12:56 AM GMT
    Nope, i had sex one time with another man and liked it that is how i knew
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    Jul 27, 2011 1:05 AM GMT
    Hey, anything it possible. Of course people can choose to be gay. I could choose to just abandon men and stick with women till my dying day. But I'm not going to, because that ain't me.

    There's a difference between choosing to identify as 'gay' and inherent homosexuality. Furthermore, a desire isn't a definitive identity. That's like defining yourself through your love of puppies.

    You can't choose a sexual urge, necessarily... there have been experiments done to see if you can train a sexual stimulation, but you can choose to pursue that urge. Beyond that, you can choose how you relate those urges to the outside community- whether in identifying as gay, straight, or not giving a fuck and doing whatever/whomever you desire.
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    Jul 27, 2011 1:11 AM GMT
    Yes, I chose to be discriminated against...

    Didnt everyone get the post card when they turned 13 and checked the gay box?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jul 27, 2011 1:13 AM GMT
    sure, when i found out we got discounts on lady gaga concerts and the banana republic it was stupid not to join.
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    Jul 27, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    calibro saidsure, when i found out we got discounts on lady gaga concerts and the banana republic it was stupid not to join.


    This and the free gym membership too LOL!