My bf talks about sex too much???

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    Apr 28, 2008 12:42 AM GMT
    So I'm having this issue with my bf and I need some advice on how to handle it with him.

    Whenever we're in a group of people he starts talking about sex. Not just on a mild level but to the point that twice he has offended people to the point that someone has said something to me about it. And in the case yesterday, this steroid-loaded meat head said that he was going to f him up. Additionally, he's always talking about the size of my (you get it). And then he gets defensive and says that it's not his issue, that my friends are just snooty.

    Any suggestions on how to handle this?
  • Hagan_F

    Posts: 210

    Apr 28, 2008 1:24 AM GMT
    "whether they are snooty or not, it makes them very uncomforable. Please stop."
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    Apr 28, 2008 1:35 AM GMT
    Why is he doing this? Have you thought about it?
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    Apr 28, 2008 1:47 AM GMT
    I've thought about it a lot and all I can come up with is that he is very insecure, and wants to talk about what he is good at???

    The other thing is that I think that he must have some childhood sex issues? I don't know. That's why I'm reaching out for advice.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 28, 2008 1:58 AM GMT
    To me the whole discussion in front of friends is a little over the top. If my bf did that (which he wouldn't, I'm more likely to do that and it would never happen) we would have a serious conversation immediately
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:07 AM GMT
    Perhaps he's a little socially awkward around your friends and doesn't always know how to make casual small-talk with them otherwise. When I feel out of my element, socially, I usually just shut up...because I know sooner or later really dumb jokes are gonna spill outta my mouth in an attempt to make them like me.
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:15 AM GMT
    In any relationship, whatever is going wrong or right, talking is always the best option.

    tell him that his potty mouth makes you feel uncomfortable. tell him what you would prefer him to talk about, give him options, and make it clear where you stand on this.

    there's a thing that I call "ambushing" and I won't stand for it in my life. it's where someone complains about something you had no idea was wrong. if there is a problem, i want to know about it so at least I have a chance to fix it. if you ambush me by not telling me the issue, i have no chance to get things right, and its not fair.
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:17 AM GMT
    PS: I can't see anything wrong with your package, looks like you're smuggling something there icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 28, 2008 2:21 AM GMT
    polobutt saidI've thought about it a lot and all I can come up with is that he is very insecure, and wants to talk about what he is good at???

    The other thing is that I think that he must have some childhood sex issues? I don't know. That's why I'm reaching out for advice.


    How long have you two been together?
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    Apr 28, 2008 4:11 AM GMT
    cronker saidPS: I can't see anything wrong with your package, looks like you're smuggling something there icon_lol.gif


    LOL, Thank you...

    Cas... We've been together almost 6 months.

    So I just gave him a call and we had a great talk. I didn't put the issue on him, I took some responsibility for part of the issue at hand and told him that I think that we should keep our personal information between us. And he agreed.
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    Apr 28, 2008 4:16 AM GMT
    zdrew saidPerhaps he's a little socially awkward around your friends and doesn't always know how to make casual small-talk with them otherwise. When I feel out of my element, socially, I usually just shut up...because I know sooner or later really dumb jokes are gonna spill outta my mouth in an attempt to make them like me.


    I agree, he is socially awkward. When we were talking he told he that he doesn't have any straight friends. We've definitly grown up under different circumstances and I think that he just gets uncomfortable and intimidated. In my life, I've had friends that had nothing and friends that have everything. It just doesn't matter to me.

    I do feel that he is worth it all, and I'll be patient but firm with him.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 28, 2008 10:53 AM GMT
    You need to sit the bad boy down
    and state in no uncertain terms that talking about your private sex life with your friends makes you Very uncomfortable and that you care for him but if this continues that it's will affect your relationship
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2008 10:58 AM GMT
    Wash his mouth out with soap and water! Or a favorite filipino punishment for dirty mouths - hot peppers. icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 28, 2008 12:57 PM GMT
    Sedative saidWash his mouth out with soap and water! Or a favorite filipino punishment for dirty mouths - hot peppers. icon_cool.gif

    Hell yeah, with
    1 "Apostles' Creed" aka "I Believe"
    3 "The Lord's Prayer/s" aka "Our Father"
    5 "Hail Mary/s"
    and 1 "Act of Contrition" while kneeling on unrefined sea salt or dry mongo beans
    icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 28, 2008 12:59 PM GMT
    zimatar said[quote][cite]Sedative said[/cite]Wash his mouth out with soap and water! Or a favorite filipino punishment for dirty mouths - hot peppers. icon_cool.gif

    Hell yeah, with
    One "Apostles' Creed" aka "I Believe"
    Three "The Lord's Prayer/s" aka "Our Father"
    Five "Hail Mary/s"
    and One "Act of Contrition"
    icon_razz.gif[/quote]

    And that should be done in front of the Santo NiƱo, kneeling on rock salt.
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    Apr 28, 2008 1:01 PM GMT
    polobutt saidSo I'm having this issue with my bf and I need some advice on how to handle it with him.

    Whenever we're in a group of people he starts talking about sex. Not just on a mild level but to the point that twice he has offended people to the point that someone has said something to me about it. And in the case yesterday, this steroid-loaded meat head said that he was going to f him up. Additionally, he's always talking about the size of my (you get it). And then he gets defensive and says that it's not his issue, that my friends are just snooty.

    Any suggestions on how to handle this?


    Have a heart to heart with him. He needs to understand there is a thing called social etiquette. Not everyone is comfortable talking about sex, and some things should be off limits period unless you have agree to them before hand (e.g. talking about your own genitals).

    Mutual respect is important in a relationship, by embarrassing you in front of your friends he is not being respectful. Sorry to be blunt but I have strong feelings about this!
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    Apr 28, 2008 1:01 PM GMT
    if you do throw hot pepper in his mouth make sure not to let him blow you for about 8 hours though. pepper oil burnssssss
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    Apr 28, 2008 1:59 PM GMT
    All l can say is "you should be so lucky" When he stops talking about it and not doing it thats the time to worry?
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    Apr 28, 2008 3:43 PM GMT
    Maybe he just needs a good spanking.
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    Apr 28, 2008 4:09 PM GMT
    polobutt saidMaybe he just needs a good spanking.


    icon_eek.gif that'll work icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 29, 2008 1:20 AM GMT
    Yeah... rather than leaving him, I think that I'll just give him a good spanking.
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    Apr 29, 2008 1:29 AM GMT
    chungo44 saidif you do throw hot pepper in his mouth make sure not to let him blow you for about 8 hours though. pepper oil burnssssss


    The voice of experience?
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    Apr 29, 2008 1:44 AM GMT
    zimatar said[quote][cite]Sedative said[/cite]Wash his mouth out with soap and water! Or a favorite filipino punishment for dirty mouths - hot peppers. icon_cool.gif

    Hell yeah, with
    1 "Apostles' Creed" aka "I Believe"
    3 "The Lord's Prayer/s" aka "Our Father"
    5 "Hail Mary/s"
    and 1 "Act of Contrition" while kneeling on unrefined sea salt or dry mongo beans
    icon_razz.gif[/quote]

    Well sweet pea. if ever you want one to enter your temple. You better get down on you knees, and start praying.

    I am the kind of guy, whom is able to talk about just about any topic. As well give others the same right.

    One can and does come across a very confident. Yet I am very shy. When I am nerves around people. I don't clam up as I once did. I now talk. I even sometime tell myself. For gods sake, shut up. Yet on I go.

    But I do not talk about my sex life. Nothing to talk about. No I don't talk about this. Nor ever about the size my root at the times member. man and I've seen a few to brag about.

    I've always hated it, when I've had another guy come up to me and ask. "whats he like?" happened lots in my life.

    Oh I make jokes about sex, and are able to talk about sex with 93 year old ladies, and do. But I never talk about my sex life, or my man in a sexual way, with others.

    The first steep is talk. I feel. It makes me feel. Yet it would truly piss me off. If I dated you, and one of your friends had an issue with me. Yet took it to you, and not me. That would piss me off.
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    Apr 29, 2008 1:51 AM GMT
    Well, at least he is comfortable with how he feels about you and being gay. Those are all really good things. I guess the way he is going about it is a little disruptive.
    First,just tell him how you feel and tell him you appreciate his openness but your friends are a little uncomfortable with all that "openness". Ask him just to tone it down a bit. He should be able to do this for you,if he care about how you feel. Good luck!!!
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    Apr 29, 2008 4:47 PM GMT
    Well this issue has been more of taking the sex talk to a level where it offends others.

    He almost got beat up the other day at a pool party we were at my some muscle head who was uncomfortable. It put a giant dark cloud on the party so we left. And then leaving put a damper on our night. I know that he felt dumb about it but didn't want to admit that he pushed it too far. His response was, well I'll never see any of those people again. But I thought, why does that matter? Some of these people are my friends and you may see them again. Regardless, it did change the flow of the party and I'm sure that the guy and his gf got in a fight over it.

    Oh well, we've talked about it and I'll see how this weekend goes.