I DO Have Cancer After All

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2011 7:44 PM GMT
    Got the news this morning in my urologist's office, it's prostate cancer. He actually asked me if I wanted my partner in the room before he began. I replied it depends on what you're gonna tell me. "I'm afraid it's bad news," he said. "OK," I responded, "Then he needs to hear this, too, as it involves him." The doctor himself invited him in from the waiting room.

    Nice of the doctor to have made that consideration on his own initiative, though I already have a Health Care Surrogate document on file in his office, giving my partner full access to my medical records, and control of my treatment if I become incapacitated. (Well, more incapacitated than I normally am)

    Half my prostate has cancer. It's apparently a bit aggressive, a 7 or 8 on some scale of 1 to 10. This Monday I get a bone scan and some other tests, will take all day, to see if it's spread. I visit the urologist again Friday next week, when he'll tell me the rest of the story based on these results.

    If the cancer is confined to the prostate he'll likely go with radiation treatment, 30 or 40 daily sessions, and a radioactive seed implant down there. No chemo therapy, so I'll keep my hair. No surgical removal of my prostate, either, so incontinence and impotence problems shouldn't happen. I'll just shoot dry blanks.

    If the cancer has spread to the bones, well, that's not so good. That's how my Father went, who also had prostate cancer.

    But I'm Army tough, not panicking. The doctor himself remarked "You're taking this REALLY well!" Well what did he expect, that I would break down & cry? That's not me.

    This must be rough on a doctor, though, to deliver that kind of news to people who often are devastated. Well, prostate cancer is one of the easiest to handle, if we got it early enough, so I'm far from being devastated. Although talking it out here does help me adjust to it.

    I was actually smiling & joking during much of the visit, as I always do. I also had my partner's spirits to keep up. One of the things I learned in the gay community, a problem which is almost endemic, is to remember that it's not all about ME. It's also about my partner and my friends.

    And so I had us go to lunch afterwards (including a drink), and to make our plans. On the agenda was who do we tell, and who do we not tell. A few RJ guys here will get personal phone calls from me to reassure them I'm doing just fine.

    So another week before I know where I go from here. I already tentatively discussed with the doctor about having the treatments done, if it's just prostate cancer, prior to the November SMART Ride to Key West. I may be too weakened after the radiation to pedal a bike 165 miles as I have before, and now being 62, but I can always do crew.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jul 29, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    well, it could be worse news...i guess.....



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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    still not liking the news of you having cancer
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    Jul 29, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear that...

    Thankfully your hubby is there for you to lean on whenever you need to as you go through remedying this....

    Here's hoping for the best and that November's SMART ride will still be on the agenda =]
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    Jul 29, 2011 8:25 PM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear that Art Deco, but I'm glad you are being positive, and please keep being positive! I hope for the best, that its currently still in the earlier stages and hasn't begun to spread! and that you will receive good news on your next visit.

    I am going to say that on the bright side at least they know the site of the cancer, a relation of mine is currently undergoing blind treatment because they have yet too find the primary source. The only reason they caught it was by fluke in a blood scan becase it looks like the cancer is in the process of spreading.

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    Jul 29, 2011 8:25 PM GMT
    Your attitude reminds me of my good friend Pamela. She found out last year she had colon/rectal cancer (4th stage) and never missed a beat. We were all devastated, especially considering it was 4th stage, but she dismissed any and all concerns. She's a dog rescuer like myself, and all she could think about was who would rescue all the lost dogs in Chicago! She never allowed herself to consider for a minute that she would not be cured. She went through all the chemo and radiation, but got on a very strict natural diet and kept working her ass off through it all. She ran several miles a day to her doctor's amazement, even after having much of her colon and rectal tissue removed. The doctor performed an ileostomy (which is no picnic from what her husband tells me.) Her scan results came in last week and the doctor says she is now "cancer free." Yay! She gets her ileostomy reversed in a couple more months which she is very excited about. She seems more upbeat than ever and has a new outlook on life.

    I have a feeling your treatment will not be nearly as bad as her's, but with that kind of attitude, I have no doubt you will be just fine! I feel comfortable saying I speak for us all here on Realjock, when I say you will be in all of our thoughts and prayers.
  • Geoedward

    Posts: 657

    Jul 29, 2011 8:28 PM GMT
    Hey Buddy, I am sorry to hear about the cancer. My thoughts are and will be with you. The most important thing is that you and your partner are keeping a positive and good head about it. Believe me, that goes a long way. Good luck next Friday and keep us up to date! icon_smile.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jul 29, 2011 8:30 PM GMT
    Art Deco, I am sorry to hear that buddy. I have lost many family members to cancer. I hope it has not spread. Please keep us posted.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Jul 29, 2011 8:33 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear the news, but learn about, do what the doc says and tell the cancer who is boss. Good luck!
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    Jul 29, 2011 8:34 PM GMT
    So sorry to hear this, buddy. . . but you have a great attitude about it and I just know you'll be fine!! Hang in there, it'll be OK. You're in my thoughts!!
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    Jul 29, 2011 8:47 PM GMT
    Im sorry for the news icon_sad.gif and i hope u get better!!!!!
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    Jul 29, 2011 8:47 PM GMT
    You're an inspiration, Art_Deco. To be so positive in the face of something so ugly and personal. I hope that your outcome is as best possible. Take care.

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    Jul 29, 2011 8:48 PM GMT
    Art_Deco,

    You are in our thoughts. And thank you for sharing this. Please, please keep us updated; it's my geniuine hope that the cancer has not metastasized.

    All the best,
    Homan
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    Jul 29, 2011 8:51 PM GMT
    My prayers are going to be with you! You're such a kind person with a beautiful soul.

    You will get through this...It won't be easy but you will sail through the rough tides and swells..May your partner also get through these times as well...

    Both my grandmothers had cancer and they fought it through!!


    You will do the same!!

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    Jul 29, 2011 8:55 PM GMT
    I'm very sorry to hear about your news. But it makes me happy to know there are people out there courageous enough to see the positive in a bad situation. You are someone I can look up to and hopefully strive to be as strong and hopeful. I wish you all the luck in the world! I will keep you in my thoughts.
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Jul 29, 2011 8:58 PM GMT
    In our thoughts. We all want this to turn on well for you.
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    Jul 29, 2011 9:00 PM GMT
    Thanks for sharing with us, Bob. Generally speaking, men do not go to the doctor. Glad to know you are smart enough to go. And for those of us approaching 50 or have hit it and are beyond, should have this test done yearly or bi-annually.

    You are in my thoughts, good news or bad. Chin up and remember, you have support!!!!!

    <3
    Erik
  • BCSwimmer

    Posts: 209

    Jul 29, 2011 9:00 PM GMT
    So sorry to hear that and pray for the best.

    For what it is worth you may wish to have a look at the following e-book (now available for free) which offers inside into various options which, in some instances, people aren't aware of (although it sounds like you are more well-informed than the average person).

    Recognize it is an e-book by a lay couple and not medical advice however it may offer some additional info that you haven't come across yet (there is an important disclaimer on page 2):

    http://www.fabjob.com/prostatecancer.pdf

    It was written by best selling authors George R. D. Goulet http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_R._D._Goulet and Terry Goulet http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Goulet

    Best wishes and Peace.
  • Spiritreaver

    Posts: 2086

    Jul 29, 2011 9:05 PM GMT
    My heart completely sank when I read your post. I admire your resolve right now and the focus you have on keeping your partner in good shape. You are without a doubt in my thoughts and I hope you have a speedy recovery, keep your head up high, though I don't think you need to hear me say that, again you've already got your head on straight enough.

    My thoughts and prayers are out to you, your partner, family, and friends. Best wishes mate. Keep us updated.
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    Jul 29, 2011 9:09 PM GMT
    I'll be praying for you! Never fun to hear that. Keep us updated.
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    Jul 29, 2011 9:15 PM GMT
    I am so sorry to hear this. I will think good thoughts for you.

    But the treatment options have gotten so better. You are tough, so I am willing to bet that you will come through this.

    But, easy for me to say. It has to be a sobering day for you. I am happy you have a partner there for support.

    All the best.
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    Jul 29, 2011 9:28 PM GMT
    I expect you to beat it. Get to work. Don't spend a second on regrets or who should have been better at diagnosis. Everyone knows what their job is from here on out, and it's your job to keep them sharp at it.

    For tonight, however, your attention should turn to steak and pie.
  • laxdude25

    Posts: 604

    Jul 29, 2011 9:38 PM GMT
    Thanks for sharing all of this with us. With your great attitude, and the remarkable advances in prostate cancer care, you'll battle through I'm sure. My thoughts are with you, and huge hugs. If it helps, know that I've now had a number of friends in more advanced situations than you who have come through just fine.
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    Jul 29, 2011 9:42 PM GMT
    It's good to hear you're keeping a positive attitude towards your upcoming battle. Keep your head high and let the radiation do its thing. Know we're here to support you.
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    Jul 29, 2011 9:44 PM GMT
    Good luck! Make that cancer your bitch!