Ever think you're missing out?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2011 8:14 PM GMT
    So, this past week I was at pub trivia with straight friends. A guy on another team kept getting up, walking by me, to drop off his team's answers. Each time he passed, our eyes locked. It went on all night until I left. We eye fucked on the way out. :-P

    I posed a "missing connections" on CL. Lo and behold, he replied. We emailed/texted all the next day about getting to know you stuff- travel, music, sports, etc. It wasn't until later in the day when he laid it all out there. He's not capable of monogamy, he's always looking for something better, he cheated throughout his 6 year ltr. He called himself a dirty boy. He wants a fuck buddy. Wow, was I disappointed and still am. He's very cute and has a great ass.

    Later I got thinking, how come I'm never this way? Sure I've had plenty of hookup sex and a few good ltrs. I've never cheated. In between those relationships I've had some dry spells and I always think I should be out there, meeting dudes, fucking around, and having fun. But I don't think that's me.

    Do any of you feel this way and think you're missing out? Will there be any regrets when we're older thinking...man, I should've gotten more ass when I was younger?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    I think about this occasionally actually. Only thing is I'm still 20 (Turning 21 in september), so it's nothing that's constantly going through my mind or anything.

    I'm wondering if I should kinda put myself out there a bit more, have a bit of fun, and so I don't get that feeling of regret when I'm older like you mentioned.

    But I also don't want to sleep around and regret that either!
    I'll just take things as they come I guess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2011 9:08 PM GMT
    My best friend does. I have my days, but overall, no I don't. It is what it is for now.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2011 9:12 PM GMT
    missed connections on craigslist actually works?!?!?

    i just discovered it and thought it was just made for shit and giggles.

    i guess not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidmissed connections on craigslist actually works?!?!?

    i just discovered it and thought it was just made for shit and giggles.

    i guess not.


    I thought so, too. This is the second time I've used it. Both times, I found the right man. It's hilarious to read some of the posts there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2011 9:37 PM GMT
    I don't go out much (being that I'm a shy introverted nerd who would rather play World of Warcraft than go to a club), but I am 20 and thus my hormones always try to lead me by the dick towards people who, by hanging around them, would get me into gayer areas.

    As much fun as I think being a scene twink would be, at the end of the day I'm still comfortable with being just a nerdy twink.

    So to answer your question, yes I do think I miss out on a lot. But I have other, more important things to focus on: college, my current relationship, finding a job, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 29, 2011 9:43 PM GMT
    brueges saidDo any of you feel this way and think you're missing out? Will there be any regrets when we're older thinking...man, I should've gotten more ass when I was younger?


    You're not missing anything except the empty feeling that comes after a meaningless hookup.

    Congratulations!
  • FredMG

    Posts: 988

    Jul 30, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    yes,

    and thanks for briging up this topic on a friday night. I think I'll go make a salad and another cosmo.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    No. I am 18 years old (because that matters) and I find that an emotional-sexual connection with ONE person is much more satisfying than sex with multiple people (and in before "you will change your views on that"... NO I won't).

    If you want to have a lot of ass become a porn star... but don't come crying to me when you find that when you hit 35 + no one wants to have anything to do with you.

  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Jul 30, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    If that's not how you operate, then I wouldn't second guess yourself. You know best how you feel about hooking up, relationships, and your emotional health.

    The grass would always be greener. While you may look back in twenty years and question whether or not you should have hooked up more, that guy may be wishing that he had not cheated in that relationship, and had hooked up constantly. At least he was honest with you, that's something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out but the truth is that not every guy is my type or has a great personality so sleeping around for the sake of doing it does not sound appealing to me. You know, standards and all. Granted if I were lucky enough to be surrounded by hot guys with awesome characters then I'd probably be a slut with little regret but it's not the case so...yeah. Keep your standards and definitely don't regret that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 1:43 AM GMT
    I don't think you are missing out and I don't think you should be regretful over something like this. Sure sex is a nice thing especially when it's with someone you consider hot with a great ass but what matters most is how you would feel after it's all said and done. You want a relationship whereas this guy just wants to continue fooling around and playing the field. I'll give him credit for already informing you of the type of person he is though. That's manly.

    Be who you are. You're more the committed type. No shame in that so don't regret your decision. Embrace and make it work for you. Should you ever decide to change your habit and just want a piece of ass to tide you over then that's cool too but don't expect more then what it really is.
  • kcbronc

    Posts: 36

    Jul 30, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    To each his own. If you want to be single and sleep around, be in an open relationship, be in a monogamous relationship... so be it. Whatever makes you happy. As long as you're not hurting someone else and comfortable with what you are doing then all is good.

    If you have an inner slut then let it out. The important thing is to live your own life.

    You can't live your life in the past thinking... would have, could have should have. It will just drive you crazy and you will never be content.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidmissed connections on craigslist actually works?!?!?

    i just discovered it and thought it was just made for shit and giggles.

    i guess not.


    this was what i was going to write. I didnt think it actually works!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    Yes, agreed. To each his own. It's important for each of us to find what we need and want and to make that happen.

    Meanwhile, I'm ready and open and actually am craving a monogamous relationship where I'm really close to one guy and taking a stand to share my full life with him.

  • gcoastmark

    Posts: 83

    Jul 30, 2011 2:35 AM GMT
    When I was younger, yes - but not anymore. It isn't who I am....I think there is level of insecurity at play with guys like that.... On the other hand, I never understood open relationships....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 6:31 AM GMT
    Thanks guys for all of your replies. I'm not really sweating how things turned out this this guy, but it really got me thinking. I feel better now. icon_smile.gif
  • danielvn

    Posts: 222

    Jul 30, 2011 11:08 AM GMT
    Egyptian_and_Proud saidNo. I am 18 years old (because that matters) and I find that an emotional-sexual connection with ONE person is much more satisfying than sex with multiple people (and in before "you will change your views on that"... NO I won't).

    If you want to have a lot of ass become a porn star... but don't come crying to me when you find that when you hit 35 + no one wants to have anything to do with you.



    Agree. A good guy thinks using his brain, not his dick !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    You might regret not having more sex. You might regret having too much sex. You might regret being indecisive. But, you'll never regret making the best decisions you can based on your values with the information you have, and moving forward.

    That is how i break through indecisiveness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    People who think they're always missing out always end up with nothing and no one in the end.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    TroyAthlete said
    brueges saidDo any of you feel this way and think you're missing out? Will there be any regrets when we're older thinking...man, I should've gotten more ass when I was younger?


    You're not missing anything except the empty feeling that comes after a meaningless hookup.

    Congratulations!


    +1 Been there with the hookups, the empty feeling is truly that, empty.

    At 50 I still get offers, and with my testosterone level it would be no problem. But I think more of myself now.

    I have never cheated when I was in a relationship, even when it was a really bad one and I had the chance to do so in NY. I do not regret that, I still have my honor. And that means more to me than anything.

    Hope that helps.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    RPMSoccer saidYes, agreed. To each his own. It's important for each of us to find what we need and want and to make that happen.

    Meanwhile, I'm ready and open and actually am craving a monogamous relationship where I'm really close to one guy and taking a stand to share my full life with him.




    I think you're going to make someone very, very happy and that person will be thrilled to reciprocate. icon_wink.gif
    Crystal ball, I haz one.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 7:04 PM GMT
    mayBbignow said<

    Egyptian_and_Proud saidNo. I am 18 years old (because that matters) and I find that an emotional-sexual connection with ONE person is much more satisfying than sex with multiple people (and in before "you will change your views on that"... NO I won't).

    If you want to have a lot of ass become a porn star... but don't come crying to me when you find that when you hit 35 + no one wants to have anything to do with you.



    How do you know you are a top and why is your family in a photo?


    I was a Top back when I was with my ex... now I am a bottom.
    Only one member of my family is in my main photo - she is my cousin (one on the right). Why does it matter if I want to put her in a photo?

  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jul 30, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    Regrets are inevitable. I regret not coming out until 25. I regret still not having had a boyfriend. And yes, sometimes I regret not being outgoing/confident/low-self-esteemed enough to be a slut.

    But I'm still (sorta) young and I'm reasonably happy for now, so I don't dwell too much.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 30, 2011 9:30 PM GMT
    I know I'm missing out, 21, bi and overweight, 6'1" and 17 1/2 stone icon_cry.gif