funny craigslist ad!

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    Jul 31, 2011 3:06 AM GMT
    Huge babyfaced fat guy at the 7/11 just now... - m4m - 50 (Studio City)

    Date: 2011-07-30, 5:20PM PDT
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    [Errors when replying to ads?]

    I'm sorry... I couldn't help but stare... your sandwich, your 2 litre coke, your jumbo bag of chips, your blue t-shirt, your grey pants, your car (lic. plate 5WIVxxx)... I noticed everything... and all I could think of was burying my face between your legs and not coming up for air until you were satisfied... I just thought you were beautiful, and at 400 lbs, or whatever the hell you weigh, I don't know how many offers like this you get in a day, but today... I'm your guy! (if you email me those last 3 digits of your plate, I'll know it's you and I'll do you whenever/where ever.)

    Location: Studio City
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
    PostingID: 2521988543
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    Jul 31, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    they wrote that about
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    Jul 31, 2011 3:39 AM GMT
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    Jul 31, 2011 11:36 AM GMT

    Personal favorite:

    To the Female Hambeast on The 111

    "It was around 5:30, I was sitting a few rows back from the front of the bus as I saw your rather rotund figure lumber onto the bus. If I remember correctly you were wearing a gray down filled blanket...wait maybe it was a coat, there was a lot of fabric being used it was hard to tell. The whole time you were speaking on your cell phone to someone...rather loudly...something about how she didn't need a man in her life...and alluding to how you were doing fine. It was a rather chilly night, I mention that because I found it odd that you were perspiring quite profusely as you sat on 2 of the 3 priority seats forcing an elderly woman with a cane to stand on the rather crowded bus. Lets set the record straight just in case you`re unaware, too many Baconators is not a disability.

    As you sat there I watch this elderly woman sway and barely keep her balance as you continued to talk and snort into your phone. Across from you sat another elderly woman, with a small child in a stroller (I am assuming she is the child's grandmother.

    As this woman's stop approached she got up and stood ready to leave the bus, stroller in tow. Apparently this was your stop too. I'm assuming that you were dividing your attention between the phone call and thought of how many delicious chicken fingers you would eat when you got to your hovel, because you were clearly oblivious to this woman. As the bus approached a red light, a few meters from the stop you, in a sudden burst of speed like I had never seen from someone of your girth, got up and pushed past the stroller and the elderly woman, knocking her against the wheel well. You didn't fit but you also didn't say excuse me as you attempted to force your heaving mass through the 2 foot wide space. Not even stopping to wonder why you were stuck ( I assume this is because it happens often) you continued to push. The back back, which had barely been secure on your shoulders swung off and smacked the small child (no older than 18 months) in the head as you managed to get unstuck an that extra foot ahead of this woman who gave me a look of desperation, alas I could do nothing.

    Now, the small child, who had been asleep the whole ride, was suddenly awaken by a smack on the head. This of course cause the child discomfort and it began to cry. The woman, in no position to ease the soothing did her best with "shhhh's " and "no, no it's ok..." to stop or quell the crying. Apparently this was too much for you to take as you turned around. I was hoping you weren't going to do it. A part of me knew you would, but the other part of me still had hope, a hope shattered as you opened your crumb garnished mouth:

    "Excuse me I'm on the phone. could you please control your child and get her it to stop crying. It's very rude to the other passengers."

    Now, I don't and never have hit a women, ever. Let me just say, had I been in a position to you definitely would have been the first. You should be ashamed of your self. "
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    Jul 31, 2011 2:47 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidmmmmmmmmmm.....sandwich

  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jul 31, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    ha ha ha really? is that ad for real? this is hilarious.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Jul 31, 2011 3:53 PM GMT
  • aiko14

    Posts: 332

    Jul 31, 2011 3:57 PM GMT
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    Jul 31, 2011 3:57 PM GMT

    Saw this post and had to look to see what Montreal was offering.

    Here's a gem:

    Your coked out friend has a weak right hook, to the cute artist SAKE - m4m - 29 (Plateau)


    I came across you spray painting the side of my house, I know you didn't appreciate my criticism of asking to "paint something original". I mean you are a young budding artist, you had a cute cub look with your short beard slightly chubby features. It was dark, maybe it was the baggy clothing that gave you the chubby look. Your friend (I think he has a coke addiction that you really should lookout for) valiantly defended your art by showing me who is boss by punching me in the side of the head. I bet you there are many rickety stair cases and poorly place door knobs in his place that his spouse keeps running into at home if you know what I mean ;).

    Anyways, you would be surprised to know that your "friend" that you said that owned my house doesn't and probably was less then honest with you about that. I actually own the house, got meself the fancy deed and everything. You also say you paint this house all the time. I haven't seen your work before on this place, but the mean ol' oppressive big brother city keeps removing it. It is like someone is calling them or something.

    I read an interview about your work in "The Infamous", I love how you complain about cookie-cutter art and you choose to ironically write the something everywhere as a statement against this "cookie cutter society". Now I know the homophobic thing you uttered when I criticized your art, was just you blending in with the crowd and appealing to your audience. Based on all the homophobic things that are posted on forums that feature your art.

    Of course the artist last night may not have been the original SAKE and one of the many "cookie cutter" artists in your repetitive and limited art form.

    Anyways, would you like to meet for coffee or tea sometime? Maybe your coked out friend can come along so he can help defend your work from criticism or suggestion
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    Jul 31, 2011 4:22 PM GMT
    Oh god...This made me laugh with the most disgusting feeling I've ever felt.
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    Aug 02, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidmmmmmmmmmm.....sandwich

    All that and a bag of chips!! icon_wink.gif