Late Realization

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    Jul 31, 2011 3:29 PM GMT
    So normally I am a very happy person and am always trying to get the people around me in better moods, which usually keeps me in the same state of mind for the day. However, a lot of people have been asking me how I am doing, as if I seem depressed or something, but i always tell people I couldn't be better.

    Then I find myself sitting alone today and realize that maybe I am depressed and I have been doing everything in my power to not let myself realize it.

    Has this ever happened to anyone? I feel like I cant be the only one who has realized an emotion waaaaaaay too late...
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    Jul 31, 2011 4:19 PM GMT
    Is there any particular reason as to why you might be depressed?
    I mean, I don't see how you can suddenly become depressed without a reason, unless of course, there is something physiologically wrong with you, in which case you might want to consult a professional. Other than that, I don't really understand how it takes so long for you to realize your emotions.
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    Jul 31, 2011 5:16 PM GMT
    Yes, thats very common... I used to deny how i felt about things constantly.. even though it was plain in my behaviour how I was feeling, I would deny it to myself.....

    Take time to figure it out though.. dont rush into it or it could be overwhelming.... Going through the process of feeling and accepting your feelings is not a one-time thing you do... its a skill you practice that stays with you for the rest of your life, kind of like any nervous-system skill.....

    First off, dont think that bad feelings makes you a bad person.. everyone is good and bad, everyone has good and bad moments in their lives.... feeling your feelings is not a sign of weakness.... it is a sign of strength to acknowledge how you feel and to deal with it directly.... bad feelings are there for a reason, once you know why you are feeling bad, you can put the bad feelings behind you ..... after rain comes sun... it always does....

    Now, about depression... depression will happen not because you have a bad emotion, but because you may get stuck in a down-ward emotional spiral that makes you see the negative side of everything while forgetting the positive side.... navigating bad feelings is thus a tricky boat to sail, where you have to learn to navigate winds and waters.... ok, dropping the symbolism.... its learning to accept the bad side that is inherent in the good of everything and seeing yourself and everything for what it is, without focusing only on one side of the coin....

    Once you are able to see this, you can begin to make choices based on these feelings.. this is why bad feelings have a purpose: they show you what you should avoid, just as how a bitter flavour to many foods can indicate poison, and the natural sugar in fruit indicates edibility.... this does not mean live hedonistically either, as it does require some planning ahead (eat too much fruit and uyou will get sick, thus an initial good feeling can lead to a bad one... thus pure hedonism is best avoided)... but once you recognise your bad feelings.... you will learn through life and experience how to increase your good feelings overall... kind of like sowing seeds for a good harvest. this is when you become more adept at navigating your own feeligns... and this is a valuable skill you keep practicing in your life, and will make you more emotionally in tune with yourself and with others, making you a more effective person as a whole.

    Hope that was clear

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    Jul 31, 2011 8:15 PM GMT
    Sorry I wasn't clear enough, I went through a breakup about 2 months ago (which is the reason people are asking if I'm ok and how I'm handling it) but I really don't think that's all of it. I get that trapped feeling now, as if this isn't where I planned on being at this point in my life.

    I'm happy with who I am, I have no past regrets, but I still feel that crushing emotional feeling whenever I'm not on top of it all the time. Maybe it is clinical...
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    Jul 31, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    The trapped feeling eh? And not where you thought you were supposed to be.. these are things reminiscent of a sense of having lost control due to your situation having become one you entirely didnt expect or oversee... this has happened to me as well... not just due to relationship problems, but work and school situations also being awry.. I did actually become depressed after that for a while, so I know what you are going through... you may or may not become depressed, if you do so that would be a normal thing after a loss or in response to an unwanted change... its how we react to loss or grief as well and is natural....

    This I can tell you is hardship, and it is definitely an obstacle to overcome.... on the flipside, once you do overcome these obstacles, you will be a stronger person coming out at the other side.... See yourself through this... ask for help if at any time you need it... do not be afraid to need, as it is not weakness nor excessive pessimism to be realistic about your own personal needs... If you are strong enough to handle the hardship, you will be able to weather the storm, and will be able to meet your own needs to your own ability.... people are there for eachother.. people will be there for you, as oyu have been there for them, of this, I am sure