Relationship Money

  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Aug 01, 2011 6:05 PM GMT
    Hey guys
    How do you committed couples divvy up the bills and finances?
    Are you both pretty equal in income?
    Do you split it 50/50? Joint account?
    What has worked for you guys or not?
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Aug 01, 2011 8:30 PM GMT
    Well when I was in a relationship, if we'd go out to eat most of the time we would each pay for our own food. That was mostly on a day-to-day basis, but of course when there were events to celebrate, we'd treat each other and it would be fine. I don't think I could ever feel comfortable if the guy I'm with is always paying for my stuff, but that's just me. But anyways, we were just bf's so I haven't had to think so hard about mixing finances/incomes.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Aug 01, 2011 8:39 PM GMT
    we are almost 10years in and just wondering if there is a better way then what we are doing.
    It works, everything gets paid but not sure if we have a great gasp on where we both are financially and where we want to be.
  • Smiling_Eyes

    Posts: 197

    Aug 02, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    There are many ways of doing this. My partner and i have changed over the course of our relationship. Atm we are each contributing equally into a shared account where all the bills/mortgage get paid out of. We each have our own chequing and savings accounts and thus have money that is only ours. For us, this works best.

    Any other questions, feel free to shoot me a message.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Aug 02, 2011 2:05 AM GMT
    yeah i would like to know what others do too. i have never been in a relationship with a guy so it would be nice to read how others go about dealing with finances
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    Aug 02, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    We both have a personal account that our paychecks get deposited into... and then we have a joint account that we have auto transfers into each month of the same amount. Our mortgage and all our bills get paid out of the joint account.

    When we go out to dinner, the one who pays is whoever wants to top that night. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 02, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    What makes sense to me is the one who earns more should pay more. The partners' individual contribution should be directly proportional to their financial wherewithal.
  • metta

    Posts: 44702

    Aug 02, 2011 3:54 AM GMT
    hmm...every situation is different.

    I have never had a partner (husband type partner), but I did live with my best friend. We had businesses together, we bought a home together (lived together), we did everything together. Money was never really an issue. When we needed money we took out what we needed. I was responsible for paying all of the bills so I had to take out the most. As long as we were not wasteful it was fine to spend money.
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    Aug 02, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    My other half tends to pay for the food and bills. But he earns 4 times as much as me as Im a student atm.
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    Aug 02, 2011 4:00 AM GMT
    We've been in a joint account since our 2nd month, that was 12 years ago. It's never really mattered who made more, in fact, the notion that one person making more money is somehow "worth more" or gets to spend more is a bizarre concept to me. It's just money, pay the bills, save some, have fun. Rinse, repeat.
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    Aug 02, 2011 4:03 AM GMT

    Add your bills that you share.... lets say its 2,000.00

    Determine household income...and determine what % of your expenses of the total income...

    guy a. earns 2,000
    guy b. earns 3,000

    for a total of 5,000 and your 2,000 of shared expenses is = 40% of the household income, you each give 40% of your income then...guy a would give 800.00 and guy b would give 1200.00 for a total of 2, cover expenses...the guy making more should pay more

    Divided by percentages...and no one gets screwed, no one is left without could add in a 'pot of money" to the household income for other things...but some money should be kept aside for each person...savings, emergency...

    Hope this helps...

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    Aug 02, 2011 6:21 AM GMT
    endo saidWhen we go out to dinner, the one who pays is whoever wants to top that night. icon_smile.gif

    I have to say very funny agreement!

    Anyway I find Garycally's method to be appropriate, but there's another factor to consider as well. That's the # of hours the partner does. Let's say person 1 works more hours than person 2, but person 2's salary is more. So let's say both income at the end of the year is equal. It would be unfair for person 1.
  • mikey_101

    Posts: 250

    Aug 02, 2011 10:17 AM GMT
    We have our own accounts for wages and income..... then we pay a set amount to cover bills, food and the cost of living into a shared account for our monthly outgoings.
    We also both pay a certain amount into a joint savings account for the future.
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    Aug 02, 2011 11:04 AM GMT

    We both just pay for things naturally.

    it's a relationship so I trust he's not trying to screw me. Besides lately we've just been spending every month 'till it's all gone so no one is winning / losing!
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    Aug 02, 2011 11:15 AM GMT
    I earn a little bit more and I have fewer outgoings (e.g. my petrol bill is lower because I have a shorter commute) so I contribute a bit more to the joint account and I pay for the odd night out here and there too. I think that's only fair and I would expect the same if the roles were reversed.

    Money from the joint account is used to pay for mortgage, bills and groceries, plus anything for the house e.g. furniture, decorating etc. I don't mind contributing a bit more to that because a) we both benefit and b) he contributed more to the house purchase initially.

    I think you just have to be sensible about it, and make sure no one is taking the piss and you don't have a situation where there's a massive inbalance whereby one partner can never afford anything for themselves whereas the other is constantly spending money on themselves.

    Edited to add: we do what other guys have said as well, have seperate accounts and a joint account, we pay money into the joint account to cover shared bills and then keep our own money for our own purchases, or saving.
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    Aug 02, 2011 11:28 AM GMT
    What's a relationship?
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Aug 02, 2011 11:38 AM GMT
    You guys have all been great!
    I'm so happy to be a part of such an awesome community.
    Thank you so much.
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Aug 02, 2011 12:01 PM GMT
    Tomorrow, I'm looking at being married for nine years, so I think I have some experience. We had both read, long before we got into an LTR, that most divorces stem from issues with money. And, having been in an LTR prior where that was exactly the situation--you learn.

    *) Talk about finances. ALways keep the paperwork in a common place for anything that may be considered a joint venture.

    *) Have a private account as well. I have my own credit card for my purchases and my own checking and my own savings. My paycheck goes to these locations first, then into:

    *) a join account. We each pay a percentage, a predefined number, based on income (I tend to earn more than he does), needs and responsibilities.

    *) Decide, together, if something is "joint" or "personal." For example, cable. I wanted it, (this was long before digital, ouch, that was painful to admit) and he didn't see a use for it. I started paying for that. However, when they started offering internet-we switched and then it became joint. We're a two car family as well, with separate jobs on opposite ends of town. Both cars are registered in both of our names, as is the insurance. However, I picked the truck, so I paid for that; he wanted an SUV, so he took that up. We both paid from the joint for registration and insurance.

    Hope that makes sense.

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    Aug 02, 2011 12:20 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Yup. I've argued this in the past, too.

    At the time, some guys thought "it's my money" and that their partner should always pay equal. My point was that that means either the "wealthier" partner agrees to live in a humble 1bd appt and go on blue collar vacations, or the "poorer" partner will spend all of his money participating in a lifestyle that he can't afford. Both paths will lead to resentment.

    Pragmatism requires that if it's love, you deal with the reality of today's income contributions just like garycally has outlined. If you both want to work on a plan for the "poorer" partner to become a more equal income generator, that's a great goal. But I don't believe a disparate-incomed couple will ever make it to that future without some realistic acceptance of the current earning potential of each partner.

    ^^^ Best answer. At least the one that fits me best. While I'm comfortable on my own as a corporate whore, my partner is an Optometrist and will likely earn more than me for a while. After having been poor and work my way up, I'm pretty fiercely independent when it comes to paying for things, and I'm a bit uncomfortable when others pay, but I'm starting to be more flexible. I don't want to exhaust my savings before I can contribute to a down payment on a shared home soon. So for most things, we split evenly. But if he wants to splurge on something, he knows it's his choice.
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    Aug 02, 2011 12:31 PM GMT
    He has his, I have mine, and we have the revenues/expenses kept separate. With a profitable business where our income derives, it simplifies things. Instead of "putting in" our shares, we take out our shares.
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    Aug 02, 2011 12:32 PM GMT
    Like others have described, we have a fairly conventional arrangement. Each of us have our own checking and savings account, and we have a joint checking and savings as well. The majority of our bills are paid from the joint accounts. We don't focus on who makes more. We just use our household income together.

    We also don't make major purchases without discussing them. So, no surprise big screen tv or new car purchases since most of those get purchased jointly.

    We intend to be together for the long haul. So, it makes sense to simplify the financial arrangement.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 02, 2011 12:47 PM GMT
    whoever is the hottest doesn't pay for anything
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    Aug 02, 2011 12:58 PM GMT
    In my last relationship the rent was split 50/50 and so was food expenses when shop at the market. We each picked a ultility bill to pay. We would switch off on when we went out to eat. If I chose the resturant I would pay he chose then he would pay. We would eat out twice week on Weds. and Sat it was the cook's days off meaning me!

    We never got in any arguments about money. I let that be known at the beginning. We had a clear plan and stuck to it.
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    Aug 02, 2011 12:59 PM GMT
    Everything just goes in one account. I don't even look, when we tried doing it together we'd just fight so I look the other way and just ask if I need to purchase something major since he's in finance professionaly icon_biggrin.gif
    It's worked really well for us
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    Aug 02, 2011 1:12 PM GMT
    Joint account, both paychecks went in.
    We were on alternating pay weeks, so there was always money coming in. He paid all the bills, made sure that was taken care of. Found the best deals for vacations.
    He also found the best deal for him and his affair guy, but I didn't pay any of that, I saw and just looked at the bank account here and there.
    If we wanted to buy something a little more expensive, just called and asked if there were funds. Yes/no. it worked.

    Anyways, I hate paying bills and staying on top of it all. It worked while it lasted the 8.75 years.

    I made 3x more than he did. Money wasn't a factor. Now that we are split, and still have the condo on the market (however; under contract as of a week ago ..AGAIN).. We have been splitting the mortgage 50/50. It's a strain for him, and I'm not complaining!!