Why do homophobic guys obsess over gay men?

  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Aug 03, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
    Does anybody have a good rationale behind this? The obsession with staring at you, staring you down as you walk past, telling their friends what a faggot you are, following you around...just an overt obsession with you. Talking about you non-stop...

    Anybody here relate? Experienced this? Why do they do this. Are they gay? In love? I need to be enlightened.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    Most of the older homophobes I know are holier-than-thou, hypocritical religious bigots who think that their sole purpose in life is to force their beliefs onto others. They believe that god does in fact hates fags so they want to obliterate fags for... god I guess? icon_eek.gif

    Most of the ones around my age are uneducated and have been brought up in a misogynistic society. They're appear obsessively homophobic probably because they're obsessed with trying to maintain some sort of manliness. They see gay men as men who (chose to) deviate from manliness and so they feel that they must assault these gay men for betraying their manhood.
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Aug 03, 2011 4:53 AM GMT
    So, if they try to maintain their manliness, then are they gay themselves? Is there some sort if insecurity? Why would a heterosexual male even think or care about what gay men do, let alone even notice a gay man, and then fixate on them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    Two of my best straight male friends helped throw a birthday party for me in the gay village in Toronto a few weeks ago, and they couldn't care less. It really just depends on the person, not their sexuality. Most people wouldn't care if they weren't told that they should.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    Secretly gay.

    The things people are most vocal about hating in others are the things they hate the most about themselves.

    Religious and delusional is also a valid response.
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Aug 03, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    I'm assuming you're Canadian, but I could be wrong, but Canadian guys are not American guys. Homophobia in Canada is so 1980. Canada is a great place.
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Aug 03, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    I agree with the secretly gay. But, there some out there who say not all are, but how could be homophobic and not be gay?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 8:31 AM GMT
    trainhard2011 saidDoes anybody have a good rationale behind this? The obsession with staring at you, staring you down as you walk past, telling their friends what a faggot you are, following you around...just an overt obsession with you. Talking about you non-stop...

    Anybody here relate? Experienced this? Why do they do this. Are they gay? In love? I need to be enlightened.



    Scapegoat - They feel like they need to have a group of people to hate on in order to make themselves feel better, so they pick on gay people.

    or

    Tradition - they've been taught prejudiced views by their family, peers or society and they carry that on.

    or

    Projection - They have repressed homosexuality and deal with it by being homophobic.

    Clearly not all homophobes are closeted gays, or you have to believe that gay people are responsible for their own oppression. Which is just a ridiculous idea. Most closeted gays are not homophobic they just stay quiet because they're afraid of homophobia.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 12:17 PM GMT
    100% of homophobes are gay.
    That is a solid fact.
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Aug 03, 2011 1:17 PM GMT
    Closeted homophobic gay men are absolutely responsible for gay oppression: Roy Cohn, Larry Craig, Dan White, etc., etc .
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Aug 03, 2011 1:19 PM GMT
    paulflexes said100% of homophobes are gay.
    That is a solid fact.


    I agree with this. It just seems most plausible to me. Even historically speaking. I would argue the enemy of gay men is self-loathing gay men.
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Aug 03, 2011 1:20 PM GMT
    Anger=fear, let's not forget that. The more severe the homophobe, the closer to gay on the Kinsey scale.

    Peace,
    Bardy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 1:21 PM GMT
    I disagree...I doubt the real number is even a double digit. It has to do with nurture, lack of understanding, and ignorance.

    paulflexes said100% of homophobes are gay.
    That is a solid fact.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 1:22 PM GMT
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reaction_formation
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    They secretly want to be teabagged. This need drives them to ignorance.
    There have been case studies...
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Aug 03, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    trainhard2011 saidCloseted homophobic gay men are absolutely responsible for gay oppression: Roy Cohn, Larry Craig, Dan White, etc., etc .


    The campaign manager of George W. Bush.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    Esp if a homophobe obsesses over the same guy, its because they have a crush they can't admit or understand.
  • trainhard2011

    Posts: 231

    Aug 03, 2011 1:35 PM GMT
    paradox saidhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reaction_formation


    Great read. Thanks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    I think that, in most cases, homophobes are secretly or unconsciously gay and can't deal with it. In regard to the bible-thumping zealot variety, there are lots of things that the bible tells us are wrong. Why focus so fiercely on homosexuals?

    I'm sure most have seen it but here's an interesting study that was done several years ago.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TixCI-34go
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 1:41 PM GMT
    trainhard2011 said
    paradox saidhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reaction_formation


    Great read. Thanks.


    Indeed. Thanks also.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 1:45 PM GMT
    Because they have nothing better to do with themselves. I mean, just look at those assholes from WBC.... what other community service are those fuck-faces providing?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 9:45 PM GMT
    The leisure centre where I go for the gym workout has working in the canteen kitchen an employee, a fellow in his early twenties, who hates me intensely ever since we were sharing the gym. He was lifting weights, I was losing weight.
    While I was on the elliptical, he was looking at the resistance chart on the console, set to high, through the wall mirror behind me while pretending to get something. I also caught him looking at the wedding ring on my finger.
    That's when he started to dislike me. And although I spoke politely to him, he railed at me very rudely.
    From that day on he went around among all other staff, secretly whispering to them that I am a queenie, causing me to stink in the sight of those who believed him. Others see me as someone with some fascination. Whichever the case may be, among thousands of customers who visit the venue each week, I am the one apparently well known to both the staff and management.
    Yet this guy had never ever approached me to enquire for confirmation whether my sexual orientation was true or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 9:48 PM GMT
    to convince themselves they're straight
  • mybud

    Posts: 11838

    Aug 03, 2011 9:50 PM GMT
    They're obsessed cause in reality they want to bite the pillows..getting pumped in the ass by a muscled jock that calls him Nancy.....I'm serious...BUD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 03, 2011 9:56 PM GMT
    ConfederateGhost saidI disagree...I doubt the real number is even a double digit. It has to do with nurture, lack of understanding, and ignorance.

    paulflexes said100% of homophobes are gay.
    That is a solid fact.
    I've never befriended a homophobe I didn't have sex with (back when I was closeted as well).