First Test tomorrow... please help

  • el_pdm

    Posts: 23

    Aug 03, 2011 5:27 PM GMT
    Put this in sex/adult by mistake.

    I only accepted I was gay earlier this year age 26 - perhaps a bit stupid nowadays I know.

    My response was even more stupid. I hooked up with guys - a lot of them. In fact over 20 this year so far.

    Sex was always protected and when giving oral only rarely (3-4 times) did semen get in my mouth but I am now booked for my first HIV test tomorrow. The result will be tomorrow also and I am terrified it will be a yes.

    I read about symptons and almost convince myself I have them and scare myself further.

    I have been so stupid and am scared I will pay the price. Reality of all the dangers has hit home.

    Sorry to rant but just needed to say these things. Did anyone else feel similar approaching these tests?
  • HopefulMuscle

    Posts: 434

    Aug 03, 2011 7:14 PM GMT
    I am going to get my first test taken as well come next Wednesday. The only thing you can do is pray for the best. At least you are doing the responible thing and finding out. Think of it this way, how many guys are out there that DON'T know their status and continue to infect others? I want to get it done because I owe it anyone else that I may sleep with a fighting chance at life. I would feel horrible if I ever found out I passed the virus to someone else.
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    Aug 03, 2011 7:15 PM GMT
    el_pdm saidPut this in sex/adult by mistake.

    I only accepted I was gay earlier this year age 26 - perhaps a bit stupid nowadays I know.

    My response was even more stupid. I hooked up with guys - a lot of them. In fact over 20 this year so far.

    Sex was always protected and when giving oral only rarely (3-4 times) did semen get in my mouth but I am now booked for my first HIV test tomorrow. The result will be tomorrow also and I am terrified it will be a yes.

    I read about symptons and almost convince myself I have them and scare myself further.

    I have been so stupid and am scared I will pay the price. Reality of all the dangers has hit home.

    Sorry to rant but just needed to say these things. Did anyone else feel similar approaching these tests?


    Do some research.

    I am always nervous too as there is a possibility of getting HIV if you are a sexually active male however remember that it is a small possibility. Knowledge is power!

    This reminds me, if anyone went to Dores Alley this past weekend did anyone find it funny that the bareback sex booth was right next to the HIV test booth? Kind of appropriate if you think about it.
  • HopefulMuscle

    Posts: 434

    Aug 03, 2011 7:30 PM GMT
    lol @Chainers, well at least they know on the spot.
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    Aug 03, 2011 11:36 PM GMT
    So, here is what you can do about, practice safe sex.
    Then you don't have to worry about it.
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    Aug 04, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    el_pdm saidPut this in sex/adult by mistake.

    I only accepted I was gay earlier this year age 26 - perhaps a bit stupid nowadays I know.

    My response was even more stupid. I hooked up with guys - a lot of them. In fact over 20 this year so far.

    Sex was always protected and when giving oral only rarely (3-4 times) did semen get in my mouth but I am now booked for my first HIV test tomorrow. The result will be tomorrow also and I am terrified it will be a yes.

    I read about symptons and almost convince myself I have them and scare myself further.

    I have been so stupid and am scared I will pay the price. Reality of all the dangers has hit home.

    Sorry to rant but just needed to say these things. Did anyone else feel similar approaching these tests?


    Yes, I felt absolutely the same way - particularly after hearing that a guy I slept with was HIV+ and he said nothing.

    We had unprotected sex due to a condom failure - and I bled afterwards (I was a bit tight) - so quite honestly I was shitting razorblades for a while.

    I had a negative result, followed by negative results every 6 months for a number of years, so somehow I dodged that bullet.

    Hope everything turns out neg for you bud.
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    Aug 04, 2011 5:46 AM GMT
    It makes complete sense that you feel anxious. But try to bear in mind that you're anxiety or lack of it won't change the test result. You're likely (and hopefully) negative or you're positive.

    If you have someone you can talk to about your anxiety while you wait for the result, try that. Distraction might help too.

    Nothing can change what has already happened. Try to remember to play safe in the future.
  • biggamehunter

    Posts: 87

    Aug 04, 2011 5:51 AM GMT
    I wouldn't worry too much, the nature of the test, the fear of the result is scary, I remember the first time I was tested was before I had sex and I was scared shitless that it would be positive. There is not much you can do now, so just breath, and think about something else. Best of luck to you
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    Aug 04, 2011 5:52 AM GMT
    stop playing webmd. you are scaring yourself. go get tested. you'll be fine. trust.
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    Aug 04, 2011 11:52 AM GMT
    The first test is the scary one. Let us know!
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    Aug 06, 2011 3:43 PM GMT
    Yes I understand your worry. I am bi and have had very limited sex with men and it was a ways back. But I kept have a recurrent sinus infection, really bad. Dr decides to do an. HIV test as recurring infections is a sympom. LORD JESUS. Did I ever sweat it out till the results came back. I read all the symptions online and like you, I suddenly could possibly have them. Nearly made myself sick for real. In fact, after the results came back negative, he had to give me something to calm me down. The best thing to do is just put it completly out of your mind and do not read anything about it until the results come back one way or the other. Hard to do but I think this would be best for you. I nearly had a fuckin breakdown over nothing. Take care buddy and peace to you.
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    Aug 07, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    Its called "medical student syndrome" because every medical student always starts thinking they have the diseases they are reading about... dont worry its normal... you read about symptoms, you're gonna imagine you have it... let the test decide!
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    Aug 07, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    Gym_bull saidOnly 20? That's not a lot : /


    you whore Gym! icon_biggrin.gif