Best way to meet guys for friendship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 2:21 AM GMT
    I just moved to a new city and am having quite a difficult time meeting guys for friendship. I've tried for quite some time, I just joined here, and I've asked the few people I know (like my trainer, etc...). But, the problem is I don't know many people and the people they know are all straight. I have no problem with straight friends as most of my current ones are. But, I'd really like to have some gay friends.

    How do you guys go about meeting other guys for friends? Is it possible in the gay world to meet someone without it being a date or wanting to have sex?

    I'd like to think I'm a fun guy, so I'm not sure why this is so difficult.

    Any help would be greatly appreciated! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 6:12 AM GMT
    Well matey. One of the reasons for One only having str8 mates, other than 2. Is because I've never been able to have gay friends where sex did not become an issue. Or was from the beginning. I just did not know it was an Issues, until it became an issue.

    I am lucky. I am able to be myself with my mates. So it makes very little difference of their sexuality.

    Gosh I've been in this city for 15 years now, and I only have one gay friend in it. made some acquaintances along the way. But it turned out they were not really friends.

    You know. If you have two truly good mates. You are a very wealthy person. Don't worry about their sexuality. So long as you are able to be you with em, sexuality should be of no issues.

    You know. I even been to str8 clubs with my mates, and I've said let have a dance. I've gotten to dance!

  • Apr 30, 2008 2:09 PM GMT
    i definitely think it's possible to meet other guys without it having to be about dating or sex. just get out and do some of the activities you enjoy.

    you might stack your odds by finding activities that are more likely to have the kind of people you want to meet.

    i see you're a runner, there's a gay running group in LA called FrontRunners that is extremely social. my ex introduced me into the group and although the ex is long gone, i still have some friends i made through the group.

    you could also try volunteering for a gay related cause/organization. might help you search for something interesting.

    just get out there. if you're the fun guy you say you are you'll have plenty of new friends. maybe you're just not looking in the right place yet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 3:27 PM GMT
    do not do it over AOL Met a nut case here ran HOT and COLD. Big BodyBuilder type total socialpath. Might have been from his meds.

    Friend to my face and behind my back told people I was crazy. Good way to meet people , HI I am Kev, Art's freind. They never tell you he is calling you crazy behind your back.

    I know this is so breeder try the super market
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Apr 30, 2008 3:44 PM GMT
    I can't understand much of what the above poster says (maybe GNOME08 is crazy afterall).

    But stirasukha's advice is spot-on.

    When I first moved to London, I went to a Gay men's social group and volunteered there to run it (buy teas and biscuits etc). 19 Years on and my core group of 4 best friends are the guys I met there.

    Good luck.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 3:45 PM GMT
    I've met good quality friends at a my office and through other investors, my alumni association, 3 clubs I belong to, my gym / jacuzzi, in my neighborhood riding bikes and through RJ. I think anyone wanting to meet more friends just has to get out and do fun things - then you meet guys you have things in common with. Good luck!
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Apr 30, 2008 4:28 PM GMT
    Volunteer for some group. Most of the people there are busy and focused on helping others instead of sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 4:35 PM GMT

    Join the local community theatre, or local Mac User's Group, or the local Stamp Collecting club.

    Just find an interest you like and seek out the others who are doing it. I've met more awesome people at my community theater than everywhere else combined.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 4:35 PM GMT
    When I finally moved into New York from the suburbs I didn't have any gay friends. I met all my good gay friends from the gym, and subsequently their friends and so on. Oh, i also met a good friend while doing laundry in my building. Just go out there an be open to talking to anyone...
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Apr 30, 2008 5:07 PM GMT
    I'm not sure but don't go on any of those sex sites looking for friends. Most of those guys that I've met through those sites say they want to be your friend but then end up trying to get in your boxers later on. When you won't screw them they bounce. LOL, I did meet a couple good guys years ago from A4A and we are still friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 5:32 PM GMT
    Three times in my life so far I have picked up and moved to a new city without knowing anyone there. It is tough each time, but gets easier. When I do it for a fourth (and hopefully last) time I will be able to write a book on the subject.

    Well, I would but stirasukha beat me too it. I would add that if there is a GLBT community center, check them out. They might run a book club, host a political group, and they most certainly have contacts in every local gay organization you can think of. If there is a group in the area that does what you like, they will know about it. Pay them a visit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 6:44 PM GMT
    When I first moved to Toronto I went to the University of Toronto gay social that was held monthly. I also went to bars (not as good an avenue). In 1989 started going to gay volleyball where I met some great people.

    Volunteer groups are another great avenue as well as sports and social organizations.

    Of course it helps if you are a social person to be begin with. I never have been, but I am not as misanthropic as I was in my teens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2008 2:32 AM GMT
    Thanks for all the replies guys. I'll try to find some "interest groups" to join and try to meet people that way. I'm very shy when first meeting people, but when I get to know someone, I'm like a different person. I guess that's part of the problem too. he he!!

    I started to get involved with the local green building chapter, so hopefully there are some gay guys in there. icon_smile.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 01, 2008 10:57 AM GMT
    Date them for a few years first....

    But the shorthand version would be to meet guys "outside" the gay scene ... which is the bars - the gyms and stuff
    meet men in sporting events - clubs and places you like to go