Double Standard

  • TallSoCal

    Posts: 321

    Apr 30, 2008 7:40 AM GMT
    So, I'm sure all of you are aware of the double standard that takes place between men and women. Men don't get criticized for having multiple sex partners, but when a woman does it, she gets called all kinds of names. Same thing when girls say, "I'm going to the mall with my girlfriends", no one finds that weird at all. If a guy were to say, "I'm gonna go grab a few beers with my boyfriends", he'd be stared down by everyone.icon_eek.gif

    My point to this is, have you guys noticed how there's a double standard between gays? Tops and bottoms, mainly, but it still exists. For example: When my straight friends talk about my "gayness", they're cool with it as long as I'm the giver. One of my close, straight friends was actually disappointed when I told him that I received once. My guess is because they see that a type of emasculation. Why do YOU guys think this is?icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 8:27 AM GMT
    A simple case of "tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are" situation: they're bothered by the fact that they (your straight male friends) may be thought of as "receivers" as well.
    Pretty much like in the Arab culture, as long as the gay man in the family is the giver, there are no qualms about it, but to be identified as the receiver, better not go home anymore. hahahahahahah! x
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Apr 30, 2008 8:33 AM GMT
    Simple answer to this it to get more enlightened friends. Or educate them that lots of Gay guys enjoy both positions (sometimes at the same time..haha...if we're lucky).

    By challenging people's beliefs we help get rid of the stereotype that only feminine guys like to bottom and vice versa.

    Loz
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 30, 2008 10:13 AM GMT
    Yup...
    Sex is power
    is now and always has been
    in Rome there was nothing wrong with having a male slave be a concubine as long as you were the top
    samething in prisons
    there's a "maleness" assoc with being the top or the "aggressor"
    Jon Stewart hit it on the head on the Daily show when he was parodying the rightwing's theory on sex ed
    when they referred to a man's dick as a "God stick"
    and a woman's vagina as the "Cave of shame"
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 30, 2008 12:01 PM GMT
    Well I think the idea of the "top or bottom" question is really kind of ridiculous.

    Besides I like the "power exchange" approach when it comes to sex anyway.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Apr 30, 2008 4:38 PM GMT
    More than anything else people need to feel that their differences make them better. Inevitably one group convinces the rest of the population that they are better (usually the population with more numbers).

    The bottom line, even if you clean up one double standard/racism/sexism/homophobia, etc, people will inevitably find something else.

    Note in the US the rise in Muslim-Christian issues (beginning in the early 80s) happened exactly as the Black-White issues became less important than they had been. (Note the use of the word 'less')

    We are all human and we all want to feel that we are the best. Think about it... even our community's annual parades are frequently called "Pride Parades". We all want to feel good about ourselves, and if that comes at someone else's expense, then so be it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 10:10 PM GMT
    I think that we as gays are just as guilty of stereotyping tops and bottoms with masuline and feminine. In my opinion this should not be done. We get this enough from the straights. we should not do this to ourlelves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 10:18 PM GMT
    SlackerJock saidI think that we as gays are just as guilty of stereotyping tops and bottoms with masuline and feminine. In my opinion this should not be done. We get this enough from the straights. we should not do this to ourlelves.


    Not to mention that it seems all the big "butch" guys around here are bottoms. LOL!

    I kid, I kid. (but not really) icon_twisted.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 10:58 PM GMT
    You know. I have never had much trouble with this in the str8 world. But I never talk about my sex life. Only sexuality.

    But........One has fond this an issue in the gay community. I've been given the label many a time by some gay, whom I've not had sex with. The label being butch..... OR what are you into.

    But just because One is top. I dont think a bottom is any less a person. Gees I've had some manly guys under me.

    But then I am god, and if you want me too enter your temple. You better get down on your knees and start praying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2008 11:01 PM GMT
    Awemazing saidSo, I'm sure all of you are aware of the double standard that takes place between men and women. Men don't get criticized for having multiple sex partners, but when a woman does it, she gets called all kinds of names. Same thing when girls say, "I'm going to the mall with my girlfriends", no one finds that weird at all. If a guy were to say, "I'm gonna go grab a few beers with my boyfriends", he'd be stared down by everyone.icon_eek.gif

    My point to this is, have you guys noticed how there's a double standard between gays? Tops and bottoms, mainly, but it still exists. For example: When my straight friends talk about my "gayness", they're cool with it as long as I'm the giver. One of my close, straight friends was actually disappointed when I told him that I received once. My guess is because they see that a type of emasculation. Why do YOU guys think this is?icon_question.gif


    Yep I think you have used the right word "emasculation". The fact that so-called "bottoms" find it pleasurable does not seem to make much of an impression on a lot of people.
  • TallSoCal

    Posts: 321

    May 01, 2008 4:12 AM GMT
    To me, it's kind of funny, and I just laugh at him because he really has no idea. I know of some guys that are more masculine than my own father receive. Yeah, that's a weird comparison, but my dad is like a black version of Arnold. My friend is just an asshole that needs to be taught a lesson. Haha
  • Rhiley4one92

    Posts: 26

    Jun 19, 2014 5:57 AM GMT
    I think that straight males can relate more to gay tops because they feel if you have a penis and you like to use it whether its male or female its not as taboo but if your a gay bottom males could potentially see you as a treat to their manhood cuz you enjoy taking another mans erection through the 'back door'icon_neutral.gif
  • Rhiley4one92

    Posts: 26

    Jun 19, 2014 5:59 AM GMT
    ...or degrading even
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2014 10:13 AM GMT
    silver_bullet saidThere is a glut of BOTTOMS in the market place. There are not enough TOPS to meet demand.

    Ergo, TOPS have a premium meat market value, BOTTOMS can't even give themselves away. icon_lol.gif

    Economics 101. icon_cool.gif

    I keep hearing that, but when I go online, I only see Tops. icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2014 5:51 PM GMT
    silver_bullet said
    morphic said
    silver_bullet saidThere is a glut of BOTTOMS in the market place. There are not enough TOPS to meet demand.

    Ergo, TOPS have a premium meat market value, BOTTOMS can't even give themselves away. icon_lol.gif

    Economics 101. icon_cool.gif

    I keep hearing that, but when I go online, I only see Tops. icon_cry.gif


    Really? Have you done a search without the phrase "bi-curious"? icon_biggrin.gif

    Or may be the guys I find attractive turn out to be Tops.
    At least, that's what I have seen around here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2014 10:11 PM GMT
    TallSoCal said... When my straight friends talk about my "gayness", they're cool with it as long as I'm the giver. One of my close, straight friends was actually disappointed when I told him that I received once...


    What the hell do your "straight" friends have to do with a say in your sex life, anyway? They paying yer bills?