Cucumber Shame

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2011 1:10 PM GMT
    So I just got a cucumber at the supermarket and it always embarrasses me to pick them up and stroke them in public. I find it easier to buy sex toys

    Does anyone else have cucumber shame?




    OK maybe I´m not being totally serious. But hey, they are like HUGE greem penises and I´m going to swallow them.
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    Aug 05, 2011 1:29 PM GMT
    Some of my best tricks have happened due to the bins of cucumbers and bananas at the grocery.

    The key is to make constant, intense eye contact with someone/anyone nearby ONLY while holding it. When you drop it, drop the eye contact.
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    Aug 05, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidSo I just got a cucumber at the supermarket and it always embarrasses me to pick them up and stroke them in public. I find it easier to buy sex toys

    Does anyone else have cucumber shame?




    OK maybe I´m not being totally serious. But hey, they are like HUGE greem penises and I´m going to swallow them.



    Ummm........maybe if you didn't "stroke" it..... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 05, 2011 2:00 PM GMT
    Make sure you don't go for the biggest one in the batch or everyone will know you're a size queen icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 05, 2011 3:51 PM GMT
    LOL Who strokes their cucumbers? icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 05, 2011 3:56 PM GMT
    I think I'm gonna start hanging out in the produce section more often.
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    Aug 05, 2011 4:35 PM GMT
    Seriously, it´s a long, hard object wrapped in plastic.

    What else am I meant to do with it? I´m not going to suck it in public.
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    Aug 05, 2011 4:39 PM GMT
    It's when you do the same thing at the butternut squash bin that they look at you funny.

    butternut-squash.jpg
  • tongun18

    Posts: 593

    Aug 05, 2011 4:39 PM GMT
    collecting_double_takes.png






    Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: a pregnancy test and single coat hanger
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Aug 05, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidSeriously, it´s a long, hard object wrapped in plastic.

    What else am I meant to do with it? I´m not going to suck it in public.


    LOL!

    Oh, and I love the term "cucumber shame."
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    Aug 05, 2011 4:44 PM GMT
    The first time I used a cucumber peeler, I immediately stopped thinking of cucumbers as phallic in any way. Owie.

    4326625917_29c5aebda1_o.jpg
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    Aug 05, 2011 5:03 PM GMT
    Just grow them in the garden like I do...also yours are wrapped in plastic wtf!

  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Aug 05, 2011 5:10 PM GMT
    They don't shrinkwrap the produce where I shop.

    I wonder how things would go at the cashier if you were to encase each cuke, zucchini, summer squach, etc in a condom before checking out?
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    Aug 05, 2011 5:22 PM GMT
    i'm glad i read these lol, hahaha icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 05, 2011 5:24 PM GMT
    Simon78928 saidJust grow them in the garden like I do...also yours are wrapped in plastic wtf!



    Oh you like them dirty, do you? icon_twisted.gif
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2605

    Aug 05, 2011 5:26 PM GMT
    No shame here.I`m just back from the shop-bought the biggest going.And I don`t simply stroke them-smell them as well. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 05, 2011 5:27 PM GMT
    I remeber my grandmother use to squeeze them or rool them and make a whiteish/green liquid come out (not kidding)...then she would cut them and they would taste better!
  • SomeSiciliano...

    Posts: 543

    Aug 05, 2011 5:49 PM GMT

    Never really thought about it.......tomorrow is farmers market day!!! icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 05, 2011 6:00 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidSome of my best tricks have happened due to the bins of cucumbers and bananas at the grocery.

    The key is to make constant, intense eye contact with someone/anyone nearby ONLY while holding it. When you drop it, drop the eye contact.


    Ooo good one, i'll try that! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 05, 2011 6:07 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidSo I just got a cucumber at the supermarket and it always embarrasses me to pick them up and stroke them in public. I find it easier to buy sex toys

    Does anyone else have cucumber shame?




    OK maybe I´m not being totally serious. But hey, they are like HUGE greem penises and I´m going to swallow them.
    [color restored]


    It's only embarrasing if you stick two of them into your mangina in public while moaning like you're about to climax.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Aug 05, 2011 6:11 PM GMT
    I like the English Cucumbers myself, they're uncut.
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    Aug 05, 2011 6:14 PM GMT
    Cucumbers put the 'organ' back in 'organic'...icon_redface.gif
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    Aug 05, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    I learn new things about gay people every day on this website.
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    Aug 05, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    tongun18 said




    Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: a pregnancy test and single coat hanger



    Lube and a grapefruit

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    Aug 05, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    Defenseon said
    tongun18 said




    Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier. Winner: a pregnancy test and single coat hanger



    Lube and a grapefruit



    Lube and a leg of lamb.