Do you ever second guess yourself when things go right??

  • ChicagoCarl

    Posts: 163

    Aug 05, 2011 1:46 PM GMT
    I know we tend to second guess ourselves when things go wrong, but what about when things go right?

    I have lost 80lbs, but I have stretch marks and some loose skin due to being overweight. I am starting to feel comfortable with myself and starting to date. I think I feel a bit jilted because when I met a guy I like and we got into bed together he saw me and asked "What happened to you?" I told him and I gave him the choice and he left before anything else happened. This has put me on alert.

    I now have another guy interested in me but I am wary that when it comes to the point of sex or being naked he may do the same thing. Should I be upfront and tell him about my body or just let nature take its course. I really do not want to keep second guessing the achievements I have done for myself. I should feel proud of what I have accomplished, but it seems to get buried a lot.

    Thanks for the advice and stories if you are willing to share.
  • SomeSiciliano...

    Posts: 543

    Aug 05, 2011 6:10 PM GMT
    First of all....and most obvious...congrats on taking control of your health and well-being. Somatic psychology proposes that fear of success can be just as paralyzing as fear of failure when the excitement from achievement beckons back to similar physical feelings when we failed or were rejected. Only advise I can give (from personal experience) is to work with a professional to sort out and process traumatic events in your past so you can enjoy the excitement of positive events in your future.

    As for the guy that got you naked and walked hell with him. Does your new interest know about your accomplishment? Bring it up discreetly...if they get heebie-jeebie about it...then they are obviously just as shallow. Check out the "letting go of a friend" thread. I can not control the family i was born into, my height or my race....but i sure as hell can control the people i choose to surround myself with.