how many looks does it take?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 06, 2011 6:23 AM GMT
    Taking a general poll here.

    I was out for the first time in awhile tonight. I went to this straight bar in St. Matts. It is real laid back, but poppin tonight with college kids.

    In this type of atmosphere, how many looks from a dude would you need to take it as a "you're cute" or "im interested in you"? There was this real hot guy who kept making eye contact with me...I counted 4 times. I never made a move, but that got me thinking: when would I take it that this dude was into me? At what point would I walk over and introduce myself? Granted, he was with a lot of people, so I would have had to wait till he was by himself. But gen speaking, what does it take for you to assume someone is into you at straight bars?

    Now, at gay bars, its obviously a different picture. Most gay dudes in Louisville skip the eye fucking and go straight to walking up and telling you how they feel, which is awesome.

    But in a mixed crowd, ya gotta tread a little lighter. What do yall think?
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    Aug 06, 2011 6:36 AM GMT
    You should have given him a sup-dude-head-nod-with-a-flirty-smile. If he returns the same gesture, then pull a Fonzie move and motion your hand to tell him to come to YOU! icon_wink.gif

    But honestly, I guess it depends on where you're at. But around my area, if I was in a straight environment and some dude kept looking at me, I'd assume he wants to brawl. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 06, 2011 12:23 PM GMT
    Yeah, I know what you mean. I'd say anything more than three looks and you may have something. But it could be a curious guy or a guy who doesn't know he's gay/bi yet, so it's dangerous territory.
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2605

    Aug 06, 2011 12:32 PM GMT
    At least two or three looks to give you something to go on.
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    Aug 06, 2011 12:35 PM GMT
    A look is just a look in my book. If their is not action behind them then I say keep on looking til you get some balls to approach me and chat me up. I'm not about to play a game of "Eternal Winks, Glares & Stares".
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    Aug 06, 2011 3:28 PM GMT
    Straight men look at other men for many different reasons, its not always "I want my junk in your trunk."

    Sometimes its an aggressive stance, sometimes its a "why is this guy looking at me?"

    Straight environments are hard to tell, try smiling next time...
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    Aug 06, 2011 3:29 PM GMT
    You probably had a piece of peanut on the side of your mouth. He was deciding whether to tell you or not. icon_confused.gif
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    Aug 06, 2011 4:53 PM GMT
    why not just walk up and say "Brian? and when he says no, say you don't think i smashed ur girlfriend do ya, or do i have a booger er sumthin, cause i saw ya starin?

    if ya slam 3 energy drinks before it tends ta helpicon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 06, 2011 4:54 PM GMT
    When you find out the answer, man, get back to me!
    The only thing it's easy to figure out right away is whether the look is hostile or not. Everybody knows the difference between a stare and a glare. Beyond that there's no telling. It could be "Are you jealous that I'm with this hot girl?" Could be "You'd be fun to challenge to a chugging contest." Could be "Wasn't I in sixth grade with you?" Etc etc etc. Ya never know. A lot of the time friendly guys really are just being friendly.

    I get 3+ long, "interested" glances from dudes a lot despite my age and "unripped" build. The ironic joke I tell myself is that they can't be Gay 'cause I'd just get attitude if they were. icon_rolleyes.gif But the truth of the matter is that a lot of the time the sexual tension is crackling. Eyelocks, raised eyebrows, pats or light punches to the shoulder/biceps/forearm while talking, you name it. What inevitably ends up happening - even in the rare cases when neither of you are with anyone - is nothing. icon_mad.gif Bi and "curious" men are what's really "God's punishment" to Gay guys.

    In other words, Trocks, even if you'd managed to get that guy talking odds are you would've done just that - talk. Remember the cop who tore up your ticket earlier this summer, who you were all about tracking down in hopes of getting some action? This too shall pass.
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    Aug 06, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    MuslNorganLikr saidWhen you find out the answer, man, get back to me!
    The only thing it's easy to figure out right away is whether the look is hostile or not. Everybody knows the difference between a stare and a glare. Beyond that there's no telling. It could be "Are you jealous that I'm with this hot girl?" Could be "You'd be fun to challenge to a chugging contest." Could be "Wasn't I in sixth grade with you?" Etc etc etc. Ya never know. A lot of the time friendly guys really are just being friendly.

    I get 3+ long, "interested" glances from dudes a lot despite my age and "unripped" build. The ironic joke I tell myself is that they can't be Gay 'cause I'd just get attitude if they were. icon_rolleyes.gif But the truth of the matter is that a lot of the time the sexual tension is crackling. Eyelocks, raised eyebrows, pats or light punches to the shoulder/biceps/forearm while talking, you name it. What inevitably ends up happening - even in the rare cases when neither of you are with anyone - is nothing. icon_mad.gif Bi and "curious" men are what's really "God's punishment" to Gay guys.

    In other words, Trocks, even if you'd managed to get that guy talking odds are you would've done just that - talk. Remember the cop who tore up your ticket earlier this summer, who you were all about tracking down in hopes of getting some action? This too shall pass.


    Hmmmm, good point.
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    Aug 06, 2011 6:22 PM GMT
    A couple of glances, then smile.
    After that, if he doesnt make a move, i move along.
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    Aug 06, 2011 6:52 PM GMT
    I think my rope is getting shorter and I am just getting impatient. Still haven't seen that cop again, and I have been driving on that road a lot lately since I have been helping a buddy move to a place around there. I think he was just filling in for somebody that night..

    Back to this: its clear that it is unclear. While I can obviously tell a glare from a stare, this wasn't that. If someone is staring at you a lot while they are with friends, they may be talking about something totally irrelevant like "see that dude? the bathroom is behind him and down the hall" or "man that guy looks familiar, I think he is so and so's cousin".

    So the general consensus is 3-4 looks, eh? After thinking about it, the next time it happens, I figure there is no harm in walking up to the bar to get a drink next to him...where we are both alone and within talking range. Sound good?

    Of course it could always be this:

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    Aug 06, 2011 7:03 PM GMT
    I have rather decent eyesight but at a certain point things get fuzzy. many times on campus people have been the victims of me staring at them and then squinting, and bulging my eyes then blinking quickly to try to clear up the vision for a moment.

    THink icon_mad.gif then icon_eek.gif then icon_mad.gif then icon_redface.gif