Is this a balanced attitude?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 06, 2011 10:32 AM GMT
    So you guys know I'm an actor- its really tough to get work but in general I do work. I've spent the last year mainly focusing on trying to come to terms with being gay but I've realised I can't split my energy into dating etc and then maintaining a career where I have to write letters, work a day job, audition etc.

    I feel I need to put ALL dating on the back burner for a while to get career sorted in this economic climate.

    Some say I'm being unbalanced but I feel I have so much energy to go around and need to put it where its most valuable.

    Is this unreasonable?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 06, 2011 10:57 AM GMT
    Not at all. There's nothing wrong with focusing on your career.

    I'm in the MidWest, U.S. focusing on my career. Dating or being in a relationship is not a priority. If it were I would've already settled and had an active boyfriend. Some people do that.

    However, there's something attractive about driven and focused people.

    I have a friend who I admire very much that said to me the other day,
    "Jonathan, this is why I like you. You know what you want and what makes you happy. You're not only getting it, you're doing it."
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Aug 06, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    No, it is not unreasonable.

    That does not mean that you should give up all social life, though. All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy and to give the best to your work you need to play some too.
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    Aug 06, 2011 2:36 PM GMT
    A relationship will fuck up a struggling career faster than alcohol abuse.
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    Aug 06, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    Nothing wrong with have your priorities straight and figured out. At the moment ask yourself which one pays the bills. Problem solved. You can always pick up dating and jump on that wagon whenever you see fit. A job/career is not such an easy think to especially when it seem like you struggling.

    Get comfortable first with your job and get situated with it to the point where you feel like you can take it easy and then focus on dating.
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    Aug 06, 2011 7:07 PM GMT
    Dating and getting to know someone new can take up a lot of your time and energy. I say, get your career on track first.
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    Aug 06, 2011 11:00 PM GMT
    Thanks guys

    I really appreciate the comments. Its not easy at the best of times and Im happy to be open to a relationship but its NOT the first priority right now .

    Two years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and STILL went on auditions, booked jobs, and my agent was none the wiser that at nights I would be sobbing, or on the Crisis hotlines or with friends in angst.That season passed and my agent was still none the wiser- I went on to do a UK tour of a Shakepeare play to rave reviews for my performance.

    I know Im a strong person, but why make things harder?

    And my loneliness issue needs to be sorted with new friends etc.. not dating.
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    Aug 06, 2011 11:06 PM GMT
    Well done for battling through, doing auditions and successful runs despite your diagnosis. You shoud rightly be proud of that. I'll echo what everyone else has said: there is nothing wrong with making your career your focus. Get that sorted, find good friends and try to overcome your depession, and then you can focus on relationships when you feel the time is right. I wish you all the best :-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2011 12:54 AM GMT
    There is nothing wrong with not wanting to date. Dating takes time, energy, and money. Just go by on how you feel and think.
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    Aug 07, 2011 1:07 AM GMT
    Focus on career. Once you've gotten a little more regular work and your agent has a really good feel for your strengths start dating again.

    Nothing more attractive than an employed man, particularly a handsome one.