What does having big muscles really get you in life?

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    Aug 06, 2011 6:01 PM GMT
    Before you hit reply, I am not asking what the benefits of leading a healthy lifestyle and being in excellent shape bring. I know that answer, because, in my 52 years on this planet I have never been out of shape. Nor have I ever had big muscles. What do guys who struggle to get big but could easily tone up, feel they are missing by not having big muscles.

    I'm currently traveling and haven't been able to do my regular sports so I've been lifting weights and I couldn't help but to wonder what would change if I had big muscles. I know I would attract the muscle worshiping crowd that currently passes me over but I seriously doubt that would increases my chances of finding love and romance. Would I get laid more? Experience has taught me that that's more a function of how picky I am.

    When I hear fellow "hard gainers" ectomorphs complain, I'm not sure why they expect they will be happier with bigger muscles. I've had a hell of a lot of fun with my lanky body. It's great for sports and I've found lots of handsome men who like me the way I am so I can't imagine it making any difference if my muscles were bigger. I am quite curious for those who have big muscles what do you feel you get out of it and for those who want big muscles what do you think you will gain if you had them?


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    Aug 06, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    I grew up as a fat kid, then lost all the extra weight right after graduating high school. I went from a fat guy to a pretty skinny guy from a lot of running with no weight training. I'm not huge or muscular by any means, but I do look noticeably bigger than my distance running days. I noticed that I'm treated better by others now than when I wasn't weight training.

    For me, bigger muscles (or at least, a well-proportioned physique) would help to counteract the negative body image of myself I got growing up.
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    Aug 06, 2011 6:54 PM GMT
    Short answer - a lot more sex if that's what you want! icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 06, 2011 6:56 PM GMT
    I think they get you unending admiration and envy from gay men who are less well built. And probably more opportunities for sex, but are the men who want you, the ones that you want?
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    Aug 06, 2011 7:02 PM GMT


    What wildtype87 said is right on!

    Pretty much grew up fat. My dorm mate in first year brought me to the gym, then I started going on my own. That summer I took a job requiring me on a bike for at least 5-6 hours riding around downtown Toronto (up and down bloor, spadina, yonge).

    When I came back to school in 2nd year, I had dropped the fat. The negative body image I had for myself was immediately shattered by everyone's surprise at how much weight I lost. It made me feel more confident approaching other guys. I then began going to the gym regularly just because I felt good after going. The chest got bigger as did the arms, and I must say, I used to be overlooked when I was younger (or that's how I felt), but now I feel like people treat me different.

    Also it helps being a Project Manager with muscles icon_biggrin.gif. I really am a push over, my bf, brother and sister think I'm a teddy bear, but whenever I'm getting a project plan made, I get a sense that people are intimidated by me and go out of their way to help me out. These are the same people others have felt were difficult to work with.
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    Aug 06, 2011 7:27 PM GMT
    For me, it's function over form. I really don't care that I look muscular. It's just a secondary benefit of working out. But I workout to stay in shape, and stay ready. It's sad to say that we we live in pretty violent times. One moment you're walking down the street, minding your own business. Next thing you know, you're getting jumped for no fucking reason, other than you're the wrong color skin or you're just in the way. Or maybe because some people out there just don't like gays. Having big muscles won't guarantee these things won't happen to you. But it increases your chances of survival.
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    Aug 06, 2011 7:31 PM GMT
    Self-worth, a sense of achievement, happiness. It's truly all for me and no one else. I feel as if you're assuming anyone who wants big muscles does it for other people, rather than themselves, but I think that's much less common than you think.
  • UncleverName

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    Aug 06, 2011 7:36 PM GMT
    I would like to have bigger muscles, but not because it would improve my life significantly. It's just that I like being noticed, and that's one way to get noticed and stand out. Also, I think it looks good, and I like to look good.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Aug 06, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    It gets them mates and dominance in the social hierarchy.
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    Aug 06, 2011 7:43 PM GMT
    friendormate saidBefore you hit reply, I am not asking what the benefits of leading a healthy lifestyle and being in excellent shape bring. I know that answer, because, in my 52 years on this planet I have never been out of shape. Nor have I ever had big muscles. What do guys who struggle to get big but could easily tone up, feel they are missing by not having big muscles.

    I'm currently traveling and haven't been able to do my regular sports so I've been lifting weights and I couldn't help but to wonder what would change if I had big muscles. I know I would attract the muscle worshiping crowd that currently passes me over but I seriously doubt that would increases my chances of finding love and romance. Would I get laid more? Experience has taught me that that's more a function of how picky I am.

    When I hear fellow "hard gainers" ectomorphs complain, I'm not sure why they expect they will be happier with bigger muscles. I've had a hell of a lot of fun with my lanky body. It's great for sports and I've found lots of handsome men who like me the way I am so I can't imagine it making any difference if my muscles were bigger. I am quite curious for those who have big muscles what do you feel you get out of it and for those who want big muscles what do you think you will gain if you had them?




    Most of the jobs I have done are easier with more muscle. Lifting, pulling, pushing, and just performing certain tasks is easier. So it just makes my life easier. Also, like xrichx said, being bigger can mean being safer.
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    Aug 06, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    UncleverName saidI would like to have bigger muscles, but not because it would improve my life significantly. It's just that I like being noticed, and that's one way to get noticed and stand out. Also, I think it looks good, and I like to look good.


    You do look good! When I walked into that cafe you were the hottest guy there.... If you weren´t married i´d be after you

    icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 06, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    Hey Brian,
    I think the answer to your questin has two main components: self-esteem and place in the "social" scene (hierarchy, if you must)

    The first component is evidently deeper and more meaningful than the second, which is somehow shallow IMO, though justfiable in some cases.

    Having a "nice" body, a muscular body comes from hard work in most cases, so seeing the results of your hard work will increase your self-esteem. It will prove to you that you are able to achieve certain goals if you put your mind to them. Also having a muscular body will usually be admired, and the man will most probably get comments on the improvement he made, if he was out of shape before.
    Men who are fit / in shape but not muscular maybe are as healthy or as hard working on their bodies as their muscular peers, but their achievement won't be praised or self-noticed as much.

    The second component is sexual, i guess, ad it relates to the man's place in the social scene. Having bigger muscles gives an impression / idea of masculinity usually. And the current social stigmas go for a "well-built" man. So some guys will grow their muscles to follow the trend and get noticed / laid more.
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    Aug 06, 2011 8:02 PM GMT
    xrichx saidFor me, it's function over form. I really don't care that I look muscular. It's just a secondary benefit of working out. But I workout to stay in shape, and stay ready. It's sad to say that we we live in pretty violent times. One moment you're walking down the street, minding your own business. Next thing you know, you're getting jumped for no fucking reason, other than you're the wrong color skin or you're just in the way. Or maybe because some people out there just don't like gays. Having big muscles won't guarantee these things won't happen to you. But it increases your chances of survival.


    ^^ This, too. Seriously, RJ needs a "Like" button. icon_idea.gif
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    Aug 06, 2011 8:26 PM GMT
    Well said, im also an ectomorph, and I know Im attracted to heavier guys, but why would I want to change that about me so badly? I might as well want to change my whole being while Im at it.... like become an Aisan woman lol.. cuz thats hot too... accept yourself eh?
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    Aug 06, 2011 8:33 PM GMT
    Being big has advantages and disadvantages, just like everything else in life. It is hard to explain.

    You get free stuff all of the time, and cops are really nice to you. But everything is made for smaller people so sometimes planes, cars, etc are uncomfortably small.

    Everyone notices you and comments on it, so it is easy to strike up a conversation with anyone. But because there are so many negative stereotypes about being a big man, you have to be extra nice and extra careful not to appear stupid. The big, dumb, mean musclehead is what people think when they meet you.

    It is easiest to get jobs. Well, it is easier to get jobs if you are good looking, that has nothing to do with muscle. But also people think they can just walk up and touch you whenever they want. It is like you are an exhibit sometimes.

    Advantages, and disadvantages.
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    Aug 06, 2011 8:35 PM GMT
    The male equivalent of what women with with big breasts and blonde hair get.
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    Aug 06, 2011 8:48 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidThe male equivalent of what women with with big breasts and blonde hair get.

    I haven't heard any 'muscle' jokes recently.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Aug 06, 2011 8:50 PM GMT
    More and better sex with more of the various kinds of guys I'm attracted to. People, both men and women, also react differently to me -- projecting more admiration, fear and respect -- than when I was skinnier, even when I'm wearing a suit. I feel stronger.

    That said, it's all relative and I try to balance the costs and benefits of bigger muscles. I'm obviously not nearly as big as a lot of guys and prefer to stick with a level of muscularity I can maintain without having to revolve an undue part of my life around it. (I put in about six hours a week at the gym and try to eat every three hours according to a diet that maybe qualifies as semi-strict. That's about it.)

    Some guys probably are better off maintaining a lanky but fit physique, which has its own advantages and is appealing in its own way.
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    Aug 06, 2011 8:54 PM GMT
    If you're in shape and you've got some muscles. . .

    You're healthier

    You feel better

    You look better

    You look younger

    People are more attracted to you, which makes you feel good about yourself

    People respect you more and treat you better, which makes you feel good about yourself

    You know you can defend yourself if need be

    You're less likely to have to defend yourself anyway, since you're way less likely to be messed with

    The simple act of taking your shirt off is a way to brag without saying anything

    If you're not real tall, being built makes you look bigger -- you'll look much bigger than some tall albeit wimpy guy

  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Aug 06, 2011 8:59 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidWhen I was 252lb of bodybuilder muscle I got attention in ways I did not care to have. People didn't care to know me as a person. And I was drawing this type of gay bodybuilder clique that only associated with big men. At the time I did not know that this was happening. Call me naive. But when I became ill with cancer and lost a lot of muscle they ignored me like a leper. Hard lesson to learn, especially when dealing with an illness.

    All it gave me was a bunch of shallowness in my face. And people just trying to bag me for sex. Please don't take this as a rant/bragging. I'm not even that sexual of a person. It's just that I do not equate muscles with sex. Apparently most people do.

    I am happy being leaner now and would not want to be that big guy again. And besides it took so much work. More groceries, more expensive, so much cooking and eating. I really had no time for much else.

    So all in all, I really didn't get much. Just a bunch of people who couldn't see past a body and didn't want to.


    Mind if I ask what motivated you to get so big in the first place -- especially since, for you, it wasn't connected to your sexuality?
  • qd2009

    Posts: 164

    Aug 06, 2011 9:03 PM GMT
    friendormate saidWhat does having big muscles really get you in life?


    I'd be able to go to a gay club without looking totally out of place.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Aug 06, 2011 9:28 PM GMT
    People obviously look at you more, esp if you wear sleeveless shirts and tank tops icon_razz.gif

    There are good and bad things though. I think men who are more musc or who gain muscle tend to be a little more arrogant than non-muscular man. Just my exp, I am sure there are exceptions. I do think there is some sort of superiority in the male world for a muscular guy though. I think the bigger you are, the more people might wonder if you're on some sort of drugs or if you are just a big dumb muscle head.

    It's no surprise that muscle do give you some sort of popularity. I mean look at the people who were fat or skinny and now have these massive bodies and what not. It's kind of sad, but that's the way things are
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    Aug 06, 2011 9:29 PM GMT
    qd2009 said
    friendormate saidWhat does having big muscles really get you in life?


    I'd be able to go to a gay club without looking totally out of place.


    From my personal experience clubs are usually crawling with the twink type, not the muscle type.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Aug 06, 2011 9:36 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    qd2009 said
    friendormate saidWhat does having big muscles really get you in life?


    I'd be able to go to a gay club without looking totally out of place.


    From my personal experience clubs are usually crawling with the twink type, not the muscle type.


    Same here.
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    Aug 06, 2011 9:41 PM GMT
    I am quite curious for those who have big muscles what do you feel you get out of it and for those who want big muscles what do you think you will gain if you had them?

    Interesting question. I don't know if I have "big muscles." Certainly, they're bigger than they were before I started training.

    But I never set out to have big muscles--I set out to get stronger. I wanted to challenge myself physically and mentally, and I wanted to break my own stereotype of myself as someone who was "not a jock." Lifting was a part of it--so is running, grappling, martial arts, yoga, and other sports.

    So for some of us, "big muscles" aren't the goal, they are the side effect.