Was my gaydar accurate? Obsessively questioning it!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    Today I was at brunch with my family. Next to us was this big table... I guess the extended family was visiting. They had three teenage sons. I never look at other guys much, for many reasons...don't want my parents to suspect anything...too nervous...etc. But I sneak peeks occasionally to see if there's any mutual interest...and just because. icon_smile.gif And so I did today.

    One of the guys was almost definitely straight. Maybe looked over once and probably just to see why I was looking over there. icon_razz.gif Another wasn't particularly attractive and was probably straight too.

    But the third was just really cute and my instinctive gaydar told me that, in all likelihood, he very well could be gay.

    I'm obsessing over this so much because I just *want* that kid to be gay and to know that someone that attractive could be gay. It would make me feel good.

    So, I guess I just want to get other people's thoughts...

    Why I think he was, or may have been, gay--each must be considered together and not independently:

    1) I saw him out of the corner of my eye looking at me several times. I could also "feel" his gaze.

    2) Once I looked at him and caught him looking straight at me. When he did, he immediately looked down...embarrassed, shy, or, my worst fear, not interested? icon_sad.gif My gut says more like the second one, because...
    Another time we did make eye contact for a more extended period.

    3) His eyes had the feel of other gay people I've made eye contact with. It's hard to explain, but there's something mesmerizing about their eyes when they're locked on yours. His were a deep bluish-green color that was just amazing and they almost had a certain glisten to them. They kinda just

    (As you can tell, for me it's almost entirely about the eyes.)

    4) I didn't hear his voice which would have been another tip-off, but he seemed very shy and quiet, which I've noticed is more common among gay (closeted) teenagers with their families and maybe in general. It certainly is/was for me. I think it's fairly easy to explain...

    5) His other brothers/cousins/family members were straight. Statistically, while I think gay people tend to clump together to a degree within families, one person at that table may very well have been gay, and he seemed like the likeliest candidate by far.


    What say ye? I think, and hope, he may have been gay.

    I'm not even (too much lol) thinking about this in sexual terms. I just thought he was so cute like a little teddy bear, lol. And to think someone that cute could be gay would be welcome news, because to be frank I've generally been more attracted to straight guys...which is obviously kind of a problem.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2011 5:53 AM GMT
    We'll have to see what you look like to determine whether he was looking at you and thinking "wtf, freak" or "damn, hes hot".

    we've all stared at attractive people but we've also stared at creepy people just to make sure they don't try anything funny.
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    Aug 08, 2011 6:06 AM GMT
    Lol. Nice try. icon_razz.gif

    I'm a bit too self-conscious to put a pic of myself up, to be honest. But, let's just say I consider myself average looking, but below average temporarily (maybe...i've had it for so long now) because of severe cystic acne. That's a huge part of the reason I'm not looking to put a pic up.

    For some reason, I didn't get the "why are you looking at me?" vibe from him. Why would he instantly look down (not just at someone else...but down...at nothing) when I looked at him if he was thinking that? Why would I catch him looking at me other times? He had that sparkle in his eyes that screamed interested, at least.

    It's curious, because I've definitely felt mutual chemistry/attraction with really decent-looking guys. Are gay guys just a lot looser or am I more attractive in some way than I feel I am (and I have pretty low self-esteem, so that feeling is pretty much nonexistent icon_biggrin.gif)? My last and only BF told me I had amazing eyes, although I don't know if I believe that (he was a bit insane).

    I'm 21, btw, if that makes any difference.
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    Aug 08, 2011 6:31 AM GMT
    Wow, just wow dude...don't even know where to start.
    Make you feel better knowing someone that cute could be gay?
    Have you not looked threw even a portion of the profiles on here?
    I think I'll detract from any further comments, letting my more articulate brothers take this one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2011 6:40 AM GMT
    Didn't mean to ruffle any feathers...

    I did look through some of the profiles and definitely saw some cute/hot guys. That's not at all what I meant. I just meant that it would make me feel good if this *particular* guy were gay, because I was so attracted to him and because, I dunno, I have a thing for (possibly-)closeted guys.

    And anyway, you can't really gauge your attraction to someone--and, more importantly, if they're attracted to you--beyond a superficial level by looking at pictures. You only REALLY feel a spark when you meet someone in the flesh. Or at least, that's true for me. I'll never meet 99.999% of guys I see on this site or on porn sites, but to know that someone I actually saw IRL was potentially interested to me would just be a big ego boost, if nothing else (and hopefully something else, but obviously not in this situation...a bit hard when you're both with your families!).
  • bothen

    Posts: 12

    Aug 08, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    notaclue saidLol. Nice try. icon_razz.gif

    I'm a bit too self-conscious to put a pic of myself up, to be honest. But, let's just say I consider myself average looking, but below average temporarily (maybe...i've had it for so long now) because of severe cystic acne. That's a huge part of the reason I'm not looking to put a pic up.

    For some reason, I didn't get the "why are you looking at me?" vibe from him. Why would he instantly look down (not just at someone else...but down...at nothing) when I looked at him if he was thinking that? Why would I catch him looking at me other times? He had that sparkle in his eyes that screamed interested, at least.

    It's curious, because I've definitely felt mutual chemistry/attraction with really decent-looking guys. Are gay guys just a lot looser or am I more attractive in some way than I feel I am (and I have pretty low self-esteem, so that feeling is pretty much nonexistent icon_biggrin.gif)? My last and only BF told me I had amazing eyes, although I don't know if I believe that (he was a bit insane).

    I'm 21, btw, if that makes any difference.


    First off, kudo's to you to actually finding out or taking an interest in waht kind acne you have.I hope your getting treament for it cause i know what it's like.

    That's allicon_smile.gif