Running causing a low sex drive?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 10, 2011 5:35 PM GMT
    Hey everyone,
    To start off with I am a 20 year old virgin (yes that includes oral). I've just found that I am uninterested in sex. I have never really had a desire for it. Recently I have tried being with guys. While I get turned on by them when it comes to physical intimacy I am just unable to do it. I am not sure if this is a psychological problem or a physical problem (Like low testosterone). One guy actually asked me if I was even interested in men. For whatever reason sex seems scary to me. I guess I am afraid of having that kind of intimacy with someone. I don't think any of the guys in my life have ever really loved me and I guess that's why I am unable to perform that kind of act with them. It's not that I am disgusted by it I am just uninterested in it. My fear is that maybe I am asexual. Some people I have talked to have said maybe I haven't met the right guy to share this with. But it seems like everyone my age is really comfortable being sexual whereas I am not really interested in it. I know I like men (I am turned on by them).I am a runner. I run 10-14 miles everyday. I have heard that female runners often lose their desire for sex because of the physical exertion. I am wondering if perhaps this is the reason I am not interested in sex. I just thought maybe someone on this site could help me or give me some advice. Thanks.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Aug 10, 2011 6:44 PM GMT
    Sounds like fear (of the unknown) and a lack of physical intimacy (connection beyond the sexual turn-on) may be contributing. The good news is that you don't have to think with your cock like so many guys. Take your time and do your best not to sweat it. If it's psychological, you don't want to stress out about it. Take it a step at a time when the time and the company are right.

    FYI, all the fellow runners I know are usually more sexually charged after a good run.
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    Aug 10, 2011 6:56 PM GMT
    Do you watch a lot of porn? Any odd diet?
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    Aug 10, 2011 7:56 PM GMT
    Don't think so. Lots of other people run a lot and do not experience low sex drive.

    Probably just psychological stress from worrying about it. Yea, maybe if you just increased your milage from 5 miles every other day to 10+, that might cause physical stress.

    That's a lot of running for as frequently as you do it I think though. Why not do a really long easy run once a week and then do more intense, shorter runs the other days...or cross train with weights/swimming? You don't have to...if your body is handling it fine of course.

    Also, probably just haven't found the right guy and you're not as perverted to be turned on as much as many guys say they are.

    If anything, physical activity should make things work better.
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    Aug 10, 2011 8:35 PM GMT
    Ironman4U saidSounds like fear (of the unknown) and a lack of physical intimacy (connection beyond the sexual turn-on) may be contributing. The good news is that you don't have to think with your cock like so many guys. Take your time and do your best not to sweat it. If it's psychological, you don't want to stress out about it. Take it a step at a time when the time and the company are right.

    FYI, all the fellow runners I know are usually more sexually charged after a good run.


    Yeah I can see that. I am looking for something beyond sex and most of the guys I have been with only seem to care about that. Thanks for the advice. I guess I just need to find someone who completes my puzzle and when it feels right it will all fall into place.
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    Aug 10, 2011 8:35 PM GMT
    cTurtle saidDo you watch a lot of porn? Any odd diet?


    Don't watch porn. I'm a vegetarian.
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    Aug 10, 2011 8:39 PM GMT
    bluey2223 saidDon't think so. Lots of other people run a lot and do not experience low sex drive.

    Probably just psychological stress from worrying about it. Yea, maybe if you just increased your milage from 5 miles every other day to 10+, that might cause physical stress.

    That's a lot of running for as frequently as you do it I think though. Why not do a really long easy run once a week and then do more intense, shorter runs the other days...or cross train with weights/swimming? You don't have to...if your body is handling it fine of course.

    Also, probably just haven't found the right guy and you're not as perverted to be turned on as much as many guys say they are.

    If anything, physical activity should make things work better.


    I have been running cross country and track since 7th grade so this mileage is pretty typical for me and something I have built up to. Yeah it seems like every guy I know is turned on really easily and obsessed with sex....
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    Aug 10, 2011 8:57 PM GMT
    I've absolutely been there. I even made threads on RealJock about it and everything. For me it was a perfect storm of all of kinds of shit that was preventing me from being able to have a sexual experience with another man. In my case it was a one night stand hookup kind of deal, they were men I didn't really trust and my body was developing a huge anxiety toward that which made me shut down all arousal when it came time for the actual sex. Also for a long time I avoided pretty much ALL dietary fat and that messed up my hormones BIG time. Mostly it was a psychological issue though.
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    Aug 10, 2011 9:12 PM GMT
    i'm still kinda there, to be honest! not a virgin, but takes a lot to arouse me in the act
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 10, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    laughing at myself...i forgot to put on my glasses...at first i read this thread title and thought it said "rimming causing a low sex drive"....



    icon_eek.gif
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    Aug 10, 2011 9:18 PM GMT
    I had an issue earlier because the first guy I had "feelings" for was straight. We were best friends, but when I told him I was gay (first person I came out to) he told me that I should hang myself. Needless to say, this fucked me up for a while. Everything in my life was put on hold for a while, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I ended up going to a psychiatrist, and she sort of helped me through the mess. Don't worry about finding someone right now. Just go out and live your life to the fullest! Carpe Diem!!
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    Aug 10, 2011 9:42 PM GMT
    I don't think it's the running.....that should increase your testosterone however 10-14 miles is an awful lot.....everyday. Have you tried taking a break from running to see if your libido increases? I know it's tough but I've cut down to 3 miles a day and I feel better for it.

    Maybe a full blood test workup looking at testosterone levels is a good idea to rule that out. You have to specifically ask for that panel because they usually don't run those tests. At least you can rule that out if your testosterone level is normal.

    If you are turned on by men, that's a good sign. Be patient, rule out a medical problem, maybe run a little less and see what happens.

    Keep us updated bud.
  • Neferti

    Posts: 55

    Aug 10, 2011 10:33 PM GMT
    Do you have any problems getting hard and shooting when you masturbate on your own? That should be a first step in determining if it's physical or psychological.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Aug 10, 2011 10:46 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]xofobftwxo said...I am a runner. I run 10-14 miles everyday...Thanks.[/quote]


    your knees, ankles, shins and lower back will be toast 20/25 years from now!

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    Aug 11, 2011 12:38 AM GMT
    rnch said[quote][cite]xofobftwxo said...I am a runner. I run 10-14 miles everyday...Thanks.



    your knees, ankles, shins and lower back will be toast 20/25 years from now!

    icon_eek.gif[/quote]

    Not necessarily. Runners typically tend to be much lighter in weight than the general population with similar height: this translates to less force placed on their legs per stride, and less force per stride means their muscles have to do less work and their joints experience less abuse, assuming they have good form and nothing about their anatomy that makes them crooked. It's also why they can run longer than the general population before feeling fatigued, because their muscles have to do less work with each stride.

    Agree with those above: if masturbation is fine and you get morning woods now and then, then you're fine physiologically. If you're stressed out all the time, you won't have a sex drive. It's a mental state. Welcome to the high-strung club icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 11, 2011 12:44 AM GMT
    Ironman4U saidSounds like fear (of the unknown) and a lack of physical intimacy (connection beyond the sexual turn-on) may be contributing. The good news is that you don't have to think with your cock like so many guys. Take your time and do your best not to sweat it. If it's psychological, you don't want to stress out about it. Take it a step at a time when the time and the company are right.

    FYI, all the fellow runners I know are usually more sexually charged after a good run.


    I really liked your response! Thanks!

    And yes, run 11 miles and then tell me you're not all hot and horny!!!
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    Aug 11, 2011 12:48 AM GMT
    I'm horniest AFTER a run...I can't imagine it having the opposite effect on anyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    Running normally heightens one's sex drive. Get some testosteron pills lol or maybe you have something mental interfering with your activities
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    Aug 11, 2011 1:43 AM GMT
    So what I'm basically hearing is I should probably see a psychologist about this? Thanks for the help everyone.
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    Aug 11, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    xofobftwxo saidSo what I'm basically hearing is I should probably see a psychologist about this? Thanks for the help everyone.

    Before you see a psychologist, have a blood test taken to determine your testosterone level. At 20 it should be quite high, and be making you horny as Hell.

    If your testosterone level is where it should be, then yeah, you may be having emotional issues. Not unusual for gay men your age. Our repressive US culture causes this, plus maybe your home life, not your fault, nothing wrong with you. This is all correctable, you're gonna be great.

    As for your running: tight, confining clothing that causes overly hot testicles can cause your testosterone to drop. Especially in Florida. And so I say again, have your blood levels checked. Just to make sure you have no physical cause for this, before you start seeing psychologists or psychiatrists.

    In my experience, gay guys who are "not really interested" in sex are dealing with an internal conflict. They're not ready, willing or able to accept their gay sexuality. They imagine themselves to be "asexual" as you imagine for yourself, someone who's not interested in any kind of sex at all.

    Incapable of being iinterested in women, and not allowing yourself to be interested in men sexually, either, your solution is to call yourself asexual, some kind of middle ground. I doubt you really are an asexual; very few humans are.

    It's part of the gay denial mechanism. I went through it myself.

    If you are really gay, then your biggest step is to simply say to yourself "I'm gay!" Or if you're straight then go in that direction, I'll cheer you. But at 20 you should be deciding what you are. So what's it to be?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2011 2:42 AM GMT
    Eat meat. Lift weights. Running is totally gay.
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    Aug 13, 2011 6:04 PM GMT
    I'm never horny after workouts...but I've been working out my whole life so perhaps I don't get the psychological thrill of feeling sexy or whatever you associate with working out. I look at it as healthy exercise, not a sex self-buff.
  • bobntpa

    Posts: 27

    Aug 13, 2011 9:11 PM GMT
    I'm 60 years old, run about 3-4 times a week, and have been told i have a stronger sex drive than men 20 years younger than me, so, no, i don't think it's the running!
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    Oct 15, 2011 2:08 PM GMT
    bobntpa saidI'm 60 years old, run about 3-4 times a week, and have been told i have a stronger sex drive than men 20 years younger than me, so, no, i don't think it's the running!


    My sex drive makes me run harder, faster and longer. Running freely in the nature areas, away from most people and traffic noises, etc., without my shirt is so sexy and expressive: "here I am and I am so fucking gay!" I LOVE IT SO MUCH. If I didn't do that I would have so much stress and be crying a lot. I wouldn't be able to work. So, maybe in a sense running does reduce my sex drive by relieving it some psychologically (same for bike riding to a lesser extent), but I love it.
  • Asmodeus

    Posts: 178

    Oct 15, 2011 2:11 PM GMT
    Running does not cause that.... poor diet does...