Aug 11, 2011 1:12 AM GMT
(This is going to be a little self-indulgent, but this is teh internet, amirite?)
I'm nervous/excited/scared and wanted to share, and this seemed to be the place.
I'm 36 hours out from a full abdominoplasty. Over the last year, I lost about 90 pounds (and that's net, and I know I added muscle along the way, so the fat loss was probably more), and I have what seems like miles of loose skin and rolls.
I've had a gut through my teenage years and my entire adult life. The mere idea, even the thought, that I will not have that gut, and will wake up Friday afternoon with a (relatively) flat body is hard for me to wrap my head around. This gut has defined my entire life. I can't imagine what it will be like without it. Of course I realize it was far more important/present in my head than to anyone else, but it's still going to be a big deal to me.
I'm thinking, to sum it up: I am out of excuses. For all these years, I have held myself back from so many things, nearly always (whether or not I admitted it to myself) because I hated how I looked. Dates, learning a sport, doing anything physical with friends (even simple/stupid stuff like ice skating or playing beach volleyball) - I wouldn't let myself do anything. Even losing all this weight didn't change too much about my self-image, because I always had all these massive skin rolls everywhere. With these things gone, with my life's one big "I have to fix this before I do X" finally realized, it's on me to make whatever I want to happen, happen. I'm not sure that I -- no, actually, I know I am not ready for that to be gone. I'm excited - this is a lifelong dream! of course I'm excited! - but I'm also really, really scared.
I'm nervous/excited/scared and wanted to share, and this seemed to be the place.
I'm 36 hours out from a full abdominoplasty. Over the last year, I lost about 90 pounds (and that's net, and I know I added muscle along the way, so the fat loss was probably more), and I have what seems like miles of loose skin and rolls.
I've had a gut through my teenage years and my entire adult life. The mere idea, even the thought, that I will not have that gut, and will wake up Friday afternoon with a (relatively) flat body is hard for me to wrap my head around. This gut has defined my entire life. I can't imagine what it will be like without it. Of course I realize it was far more important/present in my head than to anyone else, but it's still going to be a big deal to me.
I'm thinking, to sum it up: I am out of excuses. For all these years, I have held myself back from so many things, nearly always (whether or not I admitted it to myself) because I hated how I looked. Dates, learning a sport, doing anything physical with friends (even simple/stupid stuff like ice skating or playing beach volleyball) - I wouldn't let myself do anything. Even losing all this weight didn't change too much about my self-image, because I always had all these massive skin rolls everywhere. With these things gone, with my life's one big "I have to fix this before I do X" finally realized, it's on me to make whatever I want to happen, happen. I'm not sure that I -- no, actually, I know I am not ready for that to be gone. I'm excited - this is a lifelong dream! of course I'm excited! - but I'm also really, really scared.
