Do you know how to ask a guy out?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    So I'm slowly dithering my way back into the dating realm after having taken a month off and away. And now my head hurts.

    The thing that annoys me the most is the fact that when guys try to set up a way to meet me they can never be specific or give any clue on what their intent is.

    Like today, starting at 11 am...a guy was texting me. It was his day off and we were trying to arrange to meetup for the first time. This guy is mind you, 28 years old. I'm 23. You'd think he'd be a bit more mature.

    But yet he keeps saying, "what do you want to do? I'm down for whatever" I suggest meeting for drinks. He says, "well I don't drink so hope thats not an issue". I suggest meeting over the weekend, he says, "I work those days".

    Now...all the while he was wanting to meet me. But then later on in the text conversation he asks me how hung I am and starts talking about sex. I told him straight up, "You hit me up on connexion. I'm not there to hookup that's adam4adam stuff"

    He's like, no I'm looking to meet people but I WAS BEING VAGUE

    I told him...well I have suggested several things and you have given me no idea of what it is you're interested in. So you need to make the plans now.

    Long story short....we didn't end up meeting up today. And it happens so many times I'm sick of it. It's like dammit, I don't care if you're a bottom but grow some balls and learn how to speak the fuck up and say what it is you're god damn looking for mother fucker. Don't give me that you're down to do whatever bullshit. Be specific.

    Be a man and make plans. "Whatever" and "I'm down to do whatever just depends on what you want to do but whatever is whatever because I'm just whatever and I don't care it's whatever you want to do, whatever whatever IS NOT how you attempt to meet someone.

    All it does is drive me up the wall.

  • wild_sky360

    Posts: 1492

    Aug 11, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    Keep it simple...real simple. Meet in a freekn parking lot; but just meet. You'll know in a few minutes if there is a spark. It might take a few hours to see if there is a connection. The important thing is to meet and talk. The more anticipation and expectation placed on the first meet, the more likely it will not go well.
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    Aug 11, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    Lol, dont complicate it babe.. just go with the flow icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 11, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver saidSo I'm slowly dithering my way back into the dating realm after having taken a month off and away. And now my head hurts.

    The thing that annoys me the most is the fact that when guys try to set up a way to meet me they can never be specific or give any clue on what their intent is.

    Like today, starting at 11 am...a guy was texting me. It was his day off and we were trying to arrange to meetup for the first time. This guy is mind you, 28 years old. I'm 23. You'd think he'd be a bit more mature.

    But yet he keeps saying, "what do you want to do? I'm down for whatever" I suggest meeting for drinks. He says, "well I don't drink so hope thats not an issue". I suggest meeting over the weekend, he says, "I work those days".

    Now...all the while he was wanting to meet me. But then later on in the text conversation he asks me how hung I am and starts talking about sex. I told him straight up, "You hit me up on connexion. I'm not there to hookup that's adam4adam stuff"

    He's like, no I'm looking to meet people but I WAS BEING VAGUE

    I told him...well I have suggested several things and you have given me no idea of what it is you're interested in. So you need to make the plans now.

    Long story short....we didn't end up meeting up today. And it happens so many times I'm sick of it. It's like dammit, I don't care if you're a bottom but grow some balls and learn how to speak the fuck up and say what it is you're god damn looking for mother fucker. Don't give me that you're down to do whatever bullshit. Be specific.

    Be a man and make plans. "Whatever" and "I'm down to do whatever just depends on what you want to do but whatever is whatever because I'm just whatever and I don't care it's whatever you want to do, whatever whatever IS NOT how you attempt to meet someone.

    All it does is drive me up the wall.



    This rant is fucking epic. icon_biggrin.gif Thanks, man!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said

    Be a man and make plans. "Whatever" and "I'm down to do whatever just depends on what you want to do but whatever is whatever because I'm just whatever and I don't care it's whatever you want to do, whatever whatever IS NOT how you attempt to meet someone.

    All it does is drive me up the wall.



    LOL! Dont date a cancer... we cancers ALWAYS say "whatever you want" lol
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 11, 2011 6:06 AM GMT
    meet me at the ice cream truck...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2011 6:11 AM GMT
    A guy who wavers like that is never gonna meet up. If he rejects your suggestion and doesn't offer up something that works, let him go. He's gotta at least be able to recognize when the ball is in his court.
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    Aug 11, 2011 6:13 AM GMT


    STOP TEXTING, call the person, they are more likely to go ahead with a plan if you actually talk. Ask him straight up what he's looking for in person, at least then you can gauge his voice and see if he's lying or just uninterested, texting is such a cheap way to get out of something.

    Also, I'd suggest doing something that isn't awkward, somewhere that you both can concentrate on other things besides trying to make conversation work. I find that talking is much easier when you both are doing something, like walking around a park/beach, or doing some sort of activity that isn't eating/drinks.

    Just my 2 cents.
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    Aug 11, 2011 6:13 AM GMT
    I don't agree with all this namby pamby dating malarky. "Let's meet for a drink", "let's talk about what we do for a living", "let's talk about which Transformers cartoon character was our favourite", "let's talk about the gay scene", blah blah blah.

    It's sex or nothing. Test out the goods first then see where it goes. Works for me.
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    Aug 11, 2011 6:16 AM GMT
    wild_sky360 saidKeep it simple...real simple. Meet in a freekn parking lot; but just meet. You'll know in a few minutes if there is a spark. It might take a few hours to see if there is a connection. The important thing is to meet and talk. The more anticipation and expectation placed on the first meet, the more likely it will not go well.


    Yeah but it doesn't even get to that point. I don't really want to meet in a parking lot though. It's too easy of an escape route. I used to do that back in the day and it always ended up bad. What's worse is to meet at a parking lot, and they pull the same crap: What do you wanna do? I'm down for whatever. You tell me". They try to get leverage by not revealing their real intentions, so that when you mention what you really want...they can pick and choose whether it's what they want to do. That's pussy ass shit right there...

    I like to meet for drinks. I offered to pick him up because he said he didn't have a car today. We were going to go to starbucks. Yet he flakes and says he went to a movie. Bullcrap. How you going to go to a movie by yourself within an hour of telling me to text you after I'm done with my chiropractic appointment....and then tell me it's because you had nothing else to do?

    My birthday is in 1 day...If I have to spend it without having specific plans for a date I'd rather do that then to wait it the wings of someone who is built on pure foolishness.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 11, 2011 6:23 AM GMT
    It's comforting to hear it happens to young guys too. I am
    always the guy that has to ask someone out which I don't mind doing at all but it's always a nebulous answer. Never a yes or no and
    and then hardly ever a counter offer. After I quit trying ( after 3 strikes) a while later the same guy will hit on me again! Do flaky guys have flaky memories as well.
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    Aug 11, 2011 6:48 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidIt's comforting to hear it happens to young guys too. I am
    always the guy that has to ask someone out which I don't mind doing at all but it's always a nebulous answer. Never a yes or no and
    and then hardly ever a counter offer. After I quit trying ( after 3 strikes) a while later the same guy will hit on me again! Do flaky guys have flaky memories as well.


    Exactly, they lack the counter offer. OK, so you don't drink alcohol. Suggest something else!

    You can't meet weekdays? Well what day can you meet?

    See...that's 1 reason I like to meet with older men. Older men usually know how to make plans or at least give a hint. Like the older guy I met last week, he says, "I'll pick you up and we can go to dinner next weekend but YOU pick the place" That was easy. I knew we were going to dinner I just needed to pick the place which was fine by me.

    These young cocksuckers don't know shit about setting up a date. Or maybe they do...but they just can't come right out and say they want to hookup. Which doesn't make it any better.

    I just stop responding to him. If he's that inept before the 1st date, I can only imagine it'll increase exponentially as I attempt to know him any further.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Aug 11, 2011 7:11 AM GMT
    calibro saidmeet me at the ice cream truck...


    i'll buy you some ice cream...
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    Aug 11, 2011 4:35 PM GMT
    In my experience the majority of the guys on line are not emotionally available.
    Not just with sites like grindr adam4adam or the slew of others. I even had a profile on match com was emailed by 3 guys all things were fine and dandy until I sent my phone number and said lets meet for drinks or coffee. Or just call me and lets talk. Never happen not a single call. I figure if I email someone and we talk 3 to 4 times and they won't talk on the phone it's time too move on. One guy emailed me few weeks ago after 3 emails he said how about taking this too text? I'm thinking to myself text hell how about picking up the phone and having a real conversation?
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    Aug 12, 2011 5:16 PM GMT
    atljoe75 saidIn my experience the majority of the guys on line are not emotionally available.
    Not just with sites like grindr adam4adam or the slew of others. I even had a profile on match com was emailed by 3 guys all things were fine and dandy until I sent my phone number and said lets meet for drinks or coffee. Or just call me and lets talk. Never happen not a single call. I figure if I email someone and we talk 3 to 4 times and they won't talk on the phone it's time too move on. One guy emailed me few weeks ago after 3 emails he said how about taking this too text? I'm thinking to myself text hell how about picking up the phone and having a real conversation?


    Hi Joe! I'm glad you decided to sign up for realjock afterall. Just don't get addicted LOL.

    Yeah it's crazy...most of these online guys don't seem emotionally available. It's like they look like normal people, present themselves like normal people, but all they are really wanting to do is fuck.

    I had met a similar guy to the one you are referring to. He was emailing me several times. I gave him my number. He didn't give me his number. He claimed he was single but that he really likes and wants to meet me...but that he's "maybe not ready to meet someone from online". What make it even worse...HE HIT ME UP. HE ASKED FOR MY NUMBER. HE SUGGESTED MEETING.

    BULLCRAP. I eventually stopped emailing him. He sent me 3 emails and I just opened and read them but didn't respond. It's like fool, you have my number!

    Then he invites me to meet him at Tracks Denver. Oh HELL no. What kind of date is that? I've had enough situations where guys have me meet them out at clubs but when I get there they no where to be found. Or you meet them there, and they go run off with another guy at some point in the night.

    Must think I look like a mother fucking fool....If we're going to go out to a club, be a man and pick me up or something. Don't have me going out of my way to meet you there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2011 5:23 PM GMT
    Fit4FitinDenver: You have said it all! I LOVE it! Soooo many times have I experienced this same crap. It just gets so old after awhile. Misery loves company so welcome to the family! icon_razz.gif